Kids R Cool

We have Moved!

2007-11-23T09:11:00.000-05:00

Ok gang, after two years we decided it was time for a new look!

We have moved to our new site here http://kidsrcool2.blogspot.com/

The new site is a little more clean and less cluttered.

We will not remove this blog because several of you asked us to leave it so you can still reference the old posts.

Please make sure you re-subscribe using the new feed here
http://feeds.feedburner.com/KidsRCool2

We realize that there are so many of you it will take time for the transition, but we hope it will be as seamless as possible.

Thanks so much to the hundreds of you visiting and for all the support and sharing you have done.

Please feel free to leave us a comment on the new site. Pleas tell us what you do or don't like. With the new template we can change things much faster and make it everything you want it to be.

Thanks again, and remember KIDS REALLY R COOL!

FAMILY EVENT TICKETS GOING ON SALE TODAY 11/19/07

2007-11-19T10:23:00.000-05:00

The Following family shows go on sale today via Ticketmaster

Disney's High School Musical: The Ice Tour

Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus

PLAYHOUSE DISNEY LIVE! ON TOUR

Sesame Street Live : Ready for Action

Smucker's Stars On Ice

Sesame Street Live : When Elmo Grows Up

UK: Rail group 'bans' help for kids

2007-11-19T10:20:00.000-05:00

Staff at a Devon heritage railway can no longer help children off trains, because of the risk of being accused of inappropriate behaviour.

It follows a case in which a volunteer driver at another steam railway in Hampshire was convicted of indecently assaulting a six-year-old child.

South Devon Railway, which runs steam trains between Buckfastleigh and Totnes said the new policy was common sense.

But spokesman John Haslem admitted it was "a sad reflection on society".

The policy was prompted by a case in which convicted paedophile George Sully, 73, from Hampshire, indecently assaulted a girl on the Hampshire Watercress Line.

He was given an indeterminate sentence in June this year.

Heritage Railway Association has asked all members to review their procedures and the South Devon organisation has produced new guidelines.

Mr Haslem said: "We encourage parents to get out of the train before their child to help the child down.

"Our staff must not touch a child unless it is in clear view of the parent and the parent can see that there is no inappropriate behaviour.

"However we will intervene if there is imminent risk of injury.

"This simple and robust policy is to make sure that the risk an opportunity of inappropriate behaviour or wrongful accusations cannot arise."

He said that the railway got to know most volunteers well before they were allowed to work with the public.

He said: "We take precautions to make sure that volunteers and paid staff are not allowed to get into a one-to-one situation with any child."

He added: "We welcome thousands of young children to South Devon Railway every year without problem.

"We have never had a child protection issue in the 38 years of the line." SOURCE

What is debatable about cherishing your kids?

2007-11-19T10:19:00.000-05:00

Cosby's kickin' it. Again. Three years ago, Bill Cosby ignited brush fires across black America when he excoriated low-income African-American families for tolerating violence, miseducation and failure at a black tie NAACP dinner in Washington, D.C. "The lower economic people are not holding up their end in this deal. These people are not parenting," he ranted at the stone-faced crowd of America's black elite. "They are buying things for their kids -- $500 sneakers for what? And won't spend $200 for Hooked on Phonics!

This was no Mr. Huxtable of "The Cosby Show" fame. The iconic entertainer once known as the jolly Jell-O man was hanging our dirty laundry out to dry.

His critics crucified him for what they said was an elitist, misplaced attack on the black poor, who are, after all, just victims of white supremacy and institutional racism. Don't pick on them, they argued. It's "whitey's" fault.

Still, Cosby was just warming up. He took his tough-love act on tour. Since 2004, Cosby and his longtime collaborator, Harvard psychiatrist Alvin F. Poussaint, have been hosting "Call Outs with Bill Cosby," a series of town hall meetings around the nation, from Panama City, Fla., to Baltimore, Md.

They culminated in the new book, Come on People: On the Path from Victims to Victors, co-authored by Cosby and Poussaint. It is an old-fashioned, eat-your-vegetables, teach-your-children, pull-your-pants-up polemic. The book posits two central questions: Should African Americans talk out of school about the pathologies that are consuming us? Are there any solutions?

Yes, and yes.

Come on People has replaced Cosby's vitriolic speechifying with commonsense essays that reject victimization, violence and despair. If you read this book, you will realize that there is nothing controversial about "what Cosby said."

What is debatable about cherishing your children? What is the argument against going back to school, listening to the elders, abhoring gun violence?

And the old red herring of blaming "whitey" can't hack it anymore. "Blaming only the system keeps certain black people in the limelight, but it also keeps the black poor wallowing in victimhood," the authors write.

Cosby's detractors drone on about the "victims," but they never get around to asking the folks who are toiling, suffering and, yes, striving. We need to find more ways to include them in the conversation, as equal partners, rather than grist for the despair mill.

In the book, black parents, professionals and activists offer up passionate, nuts-and-bolts advice to salve the community's myriad ills. It quotes a Nation of Islam Minister Tony Muhammad at a "call out" in Compton, a black city in South Los Angeles. "What we have got to stop doing is looking outside of our community and look within our community . . . All I want to know is, do you have a program that's saving our children?

"I went to Koreatown today, and I met with Korean merchants. I love them. You know why? They got a place called what? Koreatown. When I left them I went to Chinatown. They got a place called what? Chinatown.

"Where is your town?"

Muhammad urges his "brothers and sisters" to take back their communities. "I'm getting with every pastor because the religious men and women, it's our fault that the streets have gone wild. You hear what I said? It's our fault."

Back in the day, the happy Mr. Huxtable probably didn't play well in Compton, and Cosby's new shtick is a little bourgeois. But like Cosby says, no more excuses.

Cosby's detractors drone on about the 'victims,' but they never get around to asking the folks who are toiling, suffering and, yes, striving. SOURCE

Hot topic: At Thanksgiving, when do the kids move up to the adults’ table?

2007-11-19T10:17:00.000-05:00

Hot topic: At Thanksgiving, when do the kids move up to the adults’ table?

At Thanksgiving, when do the kids in your family get to move up from the kids’ table to the adults’ table?

66.7 percent — No one is too old for the kids’ table. I just sat there last year.

25 percent — When they’re old enough to drive, marry or carve the turkey.

8.3 percent — When they’re old enough to cut their own food.

Zero — When they’re old enough to start a food fight. SOURCE

Myths and Wives Tales

2007-11-18T15:14:00.000-05:00

I was told today, by a close friend, that if you get canker sores, it is your bodies way of punishing you for lying. What?! Have you ever heard that? Me neither. Isn't just the feeling you get after you lie to someone bad enough? All these old myths and wives tales are not working for me. In fact, they are not working in our society...

Today, kids are smarter than they ever have been, and telling them that if they make a funny face it will stay that way, no longer works. Granted, it worked on me and you, but it is no longer a good way to get a kid to stop making funny faces. Same with the canker sores one I got from my buddy. I give that one more generation and then its toast.

Now, thinking about this a little more in depth, these old sayings is how i was raised and taught not to lie, cheat, or steal. But nowadays, that stuff doesnt cut it. What result will this have on our youth? Kids running around kicking and screaming is going to be a sad teachers career. And what about the parents?

Parents have a hard job as it is, but forcing them to innovate new ways of raising their children puts them over the top. Everything is trial and error when raising children. "Lets try this, lets try that" = Stress. For the most part, a new parent would raise their children the way that they were raised. Now, when I decided to have kids, the way that I was raised will not work. And that is the same for all of you out there.

But wow, what a tangent that was. The purpose of this article was to say "Lets get some new material!". Rather then continue to use the sayings and ideas as our forefathers, lets create some of our own becuase hey - it will be easier on the parents. Todays society is like a comic with only one joke. Lets get some new stuff out before they bring out the cane and pull us off stage.

Tyler Brooker is the owner and operator of Canker Sores Help - http://www.canker-sores-help.com, which is the best site on the internet for all canker related information.

Top Three Ways To Communicate With Your Child

2007-11-14T09:18:00.000-05:00

Although many parents become frustrated as they try to maintain an open line of communication between themselves and their children, regardless of age, there are three quite simple ways to attempt to achieve this goal effectively.

1
Talk to your kids. Every day. More than once a day. Every morning before school. Every afternoon after school. Every evening (preferably as you sit down TOGETHER at the dinner table). Every night before they go to bed (preferably as you ARE THE PERSON who tucks them in, says goodnight, sees them get in bed in their pajamas etc...)

2
Make time for your children. Not just the above mentioned time to talk - but actual time WITH them. Go to their soccer games, school events, and other extracurricular activities. And DO NOT just show up at their games half-way through and leave before they end. Take them (and their friends) to their after-school activities. Talk to them (and their friends on the way there and on the way back). Stay for the whole game, talk to your children after the game is over about the game, their friends, their coaches, the involved people....

3
Be honest with your kids. Children can spot a liar a mile away. They relate and respond to HONESTY. They rely on you to tell them the truth. If you do not deliver this basic necessity, how can you expect them to reciprocate? If you HAVE to work late and will not be able to attend their game, be at dinner, help them with their homework etc... TELL THEM WHY you have to work late.

Resource Box - © Danielle Hollister (2004) is the Publisher of BellaOnline Quotations Zine - A free newsletter for quote lovers featuring more than 10,000 quotations in dozens of categories like - love, friendship, children, inspiration, success, wisdom, family, life, and many more

Are you a frustrated parent who sometimes finds it is easier to take the garbage out yourself than to keep nagging your son

2007-11-11T00:32:00.000-05:00

Are you a frustrated parent who sometimes finds it is easier to take the garbage out yourself than to keep nagging your son? Do you wonder what kind of employee he will become since he doesn't always follow through at home? Is it worth the effort on your part to insist that he do his share? The answer is a resounding Yes!

The lessons of life and self that we want our children to learn in our homes are not only the practical ones, such as making a bed, sewing on a button or cooking a meal. They include intangible benefits as well; it is equally important for children to learn the art of cooperation, the satisfaction of finishing a job, the ease in following a schedule and the value of sticking with a task. Children need to learn those lessons in order to cope successfully with the problems and challenges they will face in life.

The seeds of good judgment, thoughtful consideration for others and self-reliance in all areas of dial family life are most easily planted during a child's pre-school years, but it is never too late. These values can be reinforced until the child leaves home. It is the responsibility of the parents to teach our children to be contributing citizens. Schools, churches, Girl Scouts, YMCA and other youth organizations only supplement the lessons children receive at home.

A positive identity hinges on positive life experiences. If positive experiences take place in a safe and supportive home, then so much the better. The more success a child experiences, the better he feels about himself and his place in the world, and the more courage he has to try new and different things. When we "en"courage our children to contribute to the good of the family, we give them the gift of courage to make mistakes and to take risks. We focus on their assets and strengths in order to build their feelings of self-worth.

As we teach our children to work, the whole family wins. Children feel greater self-esteem, independence and a sense of belonging. Parents feel relieved of some of the work load, and they feel more confident about their child and his ability to function in the real world. Everybody feels more a part of the team, and the garbage gets taken out!

Judy H. Wright Author, Speaker, Life Educator ph:406-549-9813 JudyWright@ArtichokePress.com Website: http://www.ArtichokePress.com Sign up today for FREE tele-classes and ezine The Artichoke-- bite sized articles on parenting,family relations, wellness,self-publishing, writing memoirs and care-giving.

Potty training fears, often called toilet terrors, are common among toddlers and small children

2007-11-07T00:31:00.000-05:00

Potty training fears, often called toilet terrors, are common among toddlers and small children. Look at things from your child’s perspective. He is giving up the security of a diaper for a big, cold thing with a giant hole that might swallow him. Up until this point, your child has been able to go in his diaper. He didn’t have to control himself until a potty was available. He could go anytime and anywhere, knowing that someone would always be there to change his diaper. The idea of having to go to a specific location means he will have to stop what he’s doing to use the potty. To top it all off, he looses the warmth of his diaper and must now go potty naked where other people might be watching!

Common potty training concerns and solutions:

Fear of Making a Mistake – Your child is just beginning to control his bodily functions. He won’t be perfect at it, and might worry that he will be punished for accidents. Throughout the potty training process, assure your child that you are there for him and he can come to you if he’s afraid or worried about something. When accidents happen, don’t make a big deal out of them. Simply clean up and tell him that you know he is trying. Potty training is often a good time to build a trust between you and your child that will last throughout your lives.

Fear of Automatically Flushing Public Toilets – More and more public restrooms switch to automatically flushing toilets. Children who are at the later stages of potty training (transitioned from the potty chair to the toilet) are often fearful of the public toilet flushing while they are seated. These fears can be alleviated with a simple, inexpensive device called the Flush Stopper.

Fear of Falling In – The fear of falling in the toilet is common when your child has mastered the small potty-chair and transitions to the toilet. You can help alleviate this fear by purchasing a potty seat that either fits on the toilet or attaches to the toilet such as the Flip-N-Flush or PRIMO's Ducka. The potty seats will decrease the size of the toilet hole and help your child feel more secure. The Flip-N-Flush is especially useful because it flips down for your child’s use and flips up so that other family members can easily access the regular toilet seat.

Your child’s fears need to be addressed as real and serious fears. If your child knows that you understand and are trying to help, he will feel more relaxed and comfortable while potty training.

About The Author
Danna Henderson started ZIP Baby in order to provide parents with comprehensive potty training information as well as a large selection of potty training products. For more information about potty training, or to browse the potty training store, visit the Potty Training Forum Message Board.

Research is finding that bilingual children do NOT acquire language later than monolingual children

2007-11-05T00:26:00.000-05:00

Our children are growing up bilingual in the French part of Canada – Québec. “That’s fine”, says everyone. “Even though they’ll probably start speaking later because they’re learning two languages at once, they’ll catch up.”

Well actually, this well-entrenched idea that bilingual children are slower to acquire language, is actually a myth!

We were surprised and delighted to learn that research is finding that bilingual children do NOT acquire language later than monolingual children. Our first child participated in a language study on babies carried out at McGill University of Montréal, Québec, Canada. There it was explained to us that research is finding that the difference in language acquisition of one child compared to another is very large. Some children speak sooner, some speak later. And the range of language acquisition of bilingual children is just as large as the range for monolingual children, statistically speaking.

Although these research results are relatively recent, I was able to find an article on the internet about it, written by Professor Fred Genesee of McGill University, confirming what we had been told verbally. In addition, instead of seeing bilingualism as the minority exception to the rule, Professor Genesee suggests that there many be as many children growing up bilingually as there are growing up monolingually.

So rest assured that the myths are wrong and the following are true:

Bilingual children do NOT have delayed language acquisition. Learning more than one language at a time is NOT difficult for small children.

Bilingual children DO master both languages just as well as one.

More and more parents are convinced of the benefits of exposing their small children to foreign languages. This has resulted in the recent explosion of videos, books, music and computer software aimed at babies and preschoolers, that expose them to another language. For example, free computer games on the http://www.kiddiesgames.com website allow babies and preschoolers from an English-speaking environment to learn and practice French and Spanish.

The most obvious benefit, and one that is confirmed by research, is that exposing infants to a foreign language can help them master that foreign language later on. In the well-documented but very accessible book on baby brain development “What’s Going On In There?”, the author Lise Eliot explains that babies are born being able to hear the sounds of every language in the world. However, this ability is subject to the “use it or lose it” phenomenon. If the baby is not exposed to foreign sounds, she will lose the ability to distinguish those sounds. For example, on page 368, she reports:

«Infants’ ability to discriminate foreign speech sounds begins to wane as early as six months of age. By this age, English-learning babies have already lost some of their ability, still present at four months, to discriminate certain German or Swedish vowels. Foreign vowels are the first sort of phoneme to go. Then, by ten or twelve months, out goes the ability to discriminate foreign consonants, like /r/’s and /l/’s for Japanese babies or Hindi consonants for English-learning infants.»

Another benefit of exposing children to another language that is starting to be recognized, is that of increasing their proficiency in their primary language. It may be that the brain exercise of sorting out multiple languages gives that brain a deeper proficiency in language and grammar overall.

So the next time your infant has the opportunity to be exposed to a foreign language in a suitably fun setting (which is how all activities should be presented to infants, isn’t it?), then jump at the chance!

The author of this article, Emma Rath, produces free online and purchasable download baby and preschooler software, available at http://www.kiddiesgames.com.

How Well Do You Know Your Child?

2007-11-03T00:25:00.000-04:00

Do you think you really know your child? I don't mean know what he/she likes and doesn't like, but to know him/her well enough to understand his/her challenges, to appreciate his/her strengths and weaknesses and to help him/her develop his talents. Knowing your children can help increase their chance for success in the future and improve your relationship.

As parents, we are constantly looking for ways to improve out relationship with our children, discipline our children and provide proper guidance. How many of us take the time to get to really know our child? Some of us believe that our children are extensions of us and don't have their own thoughts, dreams and goals. When was the last time you sat down with your child to find out what they are thinking? The answers may surprise you. Children, especially during puberty, start to discover and develop their identity. They go through an emotional and psychological identity crisis and question and challenge their parents. At this point, children start to crave support and direction from their parents, but are not always compelled to ask for it. But how can you help your child, if you do not know their needs? Simple, ask them!

You are not a mind reader and your child probably will not voluntarily share his/her personal information with you. When you start to offer unsolicited advice, they feel that you are being intrusive or nosy and get defensive.

There are two simple steps to getting to know your child.

The first step is to listen more and speak less. Let your child direct the conversation and when they ask for your advice, offer it without being judgmental or critical. Lecturing and berating your child for poor judgment or unhealthy decisions will not help you to understand him/her more because you will not be getting to the core reason for the behavior. If you do not have the proper information, how can you give your child the support that he/she needs? By listening, you will be able to help your child understand how their choices and decisions affect their lives and direct them to making healthier and more responsible decisions. By being an active listener, you learn to acknowledge what your child is feeling and give your child the information and advice that he/she needs.

The second step is to ask the questions that will create meaningful conversation. The typical responses to “How was your day?” are “Good” or “Fine.” Ask open ended questions instead of closed ended questions that result in one word responses. Ask specific rather than general questions that will stimulate your child to think. Show your child that you have a genuine interest in what is going on in his/her life. Don't force this process, let it come naturally and soon your child will respond. Ask casually and soon your child will start to volunteer the information. Find out who influences your child. Even ask tough questions such as, "How do you feel about our family?" The point is not to judge your child's responses, but to know what he/she is thinking or how he/she is feeling. Ask your child if he/she has any resolutions for this year. What was his/her biggest challenge or setback last year? Ask the questions without interrogating. Don't bombard them with questions or you may face resistance. Resolve today to spend a few minutes each day getting to know your child better. This is one of the most valuable gifts you can give to your child.

Marie Magdala Roker is an Academic and Personal Development Coach and Certified Breakthrough Parenting Instructor who works with parents to help them unlock and nurture the personal and academic potential in their children and motivate their children to success.

You can find her on the web at http://www.successfulchild.com.

Researchers have estimated that 25-35% of children in the United States have Learning Disabilities

2007-11-01T08:00:00.000-04:00

Researchers have estimated that 25-35% of children in the United States have Learning Disabilities. At least 5% have Attention Deficit Disorders. All too many times during the course of their academic careers these children are labeled by teachers (or parents) as being "lazy," or "stupid." Remarks of this type are typically interpreted by the child as, "You're no good," and the self-esteem levels drop.

At least 50% of children will experience the divorce of their parents prior to turning 18 years old. Most children, for whatever reasons too complicated to go into here, will tend to place at least a portion of the blame for the parent's divorce on themselves. Since the parents are typically placed on a pedestal in the eyes of the child, the blame for the divorce cannot be placed on the parents and must be placed elsewhere, most commonly on themselves. This also significantly impacts children's self-esteem levels.

There are other important challenges to maintaining reasonable self-esteem, such as merely being "average" in a world that worships only the good looking, the good athletes, and the well-to-do.

But can too much self-esteem be bad for you?

Let me say here and now that inappropriately high levels of self-esteem may be worse that low levels. Levels of self-esteem that are too high may lead kids to believe that they are more important than anyone else, and that they should never be frustrated by work or challenges in life. It leads young people to believe that they should always have their way. Inflated levels of self-esteem ultimately discourages children and teens from learning how to work hard, and may well lead into criminal behavior (criminals tend to have high levels of self-esteem, not low levels).

Inflated levels of self-esteem also are directly at odds with the development of one's spirituality and relationship with God. After all, who needs to develop a relationship with God when he believes that what he wants is more important than what God wants? The ultimate out come of the self-esteem movement is seen in the New Age doctrine that you are, in fact, God. Yes you. The guy who can't balance his check book or keep his car fixed. You are God? So they tell us.

People are cheated in every important aspect of their lives, emotionally, socially, and spiritually, when their sense of self-esteem is over-inflated.

So how can we instill appropriate levels of self-esteem in our children?

Briefly, here are five key thoughts . . .

First, change the way that you look at this area of life from "self-esteem" to "self-confidence." There is a difference as wide as the sea.

To "esteem" someone, including one's self, involves feelings of "reverence" or "awe" or "honor" or "glory." Words have meaning. Let's not get carried away with trying to make our kids feel good about themselves by starting to ascribe to them positions of honor normally reserved for God, and perhaps for Presidents and Kings. The majority of our society's problems are caused by people thinking that they are as important or as powerful as God, or at least that they are more important than anyone else in the world. This is not something that we really want to encourage in our children, or in ourselves.

Instead we do want to encourage self-confidence. This attribute becomes especially powerful and beautiful when paired with the virtue of self-control. Raise your children to have these two character traits, and you will have wonderful and successful children, ADD/LD or not.

Second, give lots of encouragement, praise, acceptance, and teach responsibility.

Encouragement comes when you focus on your child's assets and strengths in order to build his/her self-confidence. See the positive. Even failures can be outstanding learning experiences. Encouragement sounds like this, "I like the way that you did that," or "I know that you can do it," or, "It looks like you worked very hard at that."

Encouragement is NOT giving compliments for work poorly done, but under those circumstances it IS inspiring your child to work harder and do better. "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up, according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." -St. Paul (Eph. 4:29)

Ultimately self-confidence comes from having accomplished things worth being proud of. Reserve Praise for things well done. Where Encouragement is given for effort, Praise is given for accomplishment. Just say, "That's a good start, keep at it," when the work is not yet worthy of praise. Accept your child for who he/she is. If you expected that your baby would grow into an Olympic athlete with an IQ of 148, and instead he/she is "average" then you might be very disappointed as a parent (most children are "average," which is why they call it "average").

Disappointment is often turned into anger, or at least frustration. If your child cannot live up to your dreams for him or her (and why should they?) then please be careful of your emotions. If you are not careful, your own dreams and expectations for your child will become a wedge between you and your child. Please never make your love, encouragement, or acceptance, dependent on their performance or behavior.

Teach Responsibility to your children.

Let them try things and let them fail once in a while. Don't keep bailing them out. Victory only tastes sweet if we taste the bitterness of failure once in a while. Trust me, the dog's not going to starve if he misses a meal or two. The newspaper won't come to publish a story on your family if your child fails to make his bed once in a while.

Just use these occasions to remind your child that if his dog is going to ever eat again, he needs to get out there and feed it (assuming that's your child's job). Remind your child that he or she is an important member of your home and that he needs to be responsible with doing his chores.

Make the consequences for not being responsible fit the crime. And of course be sure to reward/praise your child when he does act responsibly. Behavior that is rewarded tends to be repeated, and behavior that is ignored tends to go away -- so always reward and praise responsible behaviors in your children.

Douglas Cowan, Psy.D., is a family therapist who has been working with ADHD children and their families since 1986. He is the clinical director of the ADHD Information Library's family of seven web sites, including http://www.newideas.net, helping over 350,000 parents and teachers learn more about ADHD each year. Dr. Cowan also serves on the Medical Advisory Board of VAXA International of Tampa, FL., is President of the Board of Directors for KAXL 88.3 FM in central California, and is President of NewIdeas.net Incorporated.

Not many things are more upsetting than discovering that your child has been abused, in any way, by your babysitter

2007-10-28T07:56:00.000-04:00

Not many things are more upsetting than discovering that your child has been abused, in any way, by your babysitter. People think that to be a babysitter means you must be a nice person. WRONG! Some of the nicest people turned out to be Serial Killers, so don't ever give a Babysitter the benefit of the doubt.

You should always ask for references. Check out the references. Make phone calls to see if the reference sounds credible, or is it a friend of the babysitter. Don't laugh, it is easy to have a fake reference. It happens, don't let it happen to you.

An Interview is in order before actually hiring anyone for anything. See how your child feels with the new babysitter. Does he or she feel comfortable? Are they talkative? Shy? Afraid? Kids have a good "Gut" level of feeling comfortable or afraid of people. Don't ever "force" a babysitter on your child. A good general conversation will bring out much in a potential babysitter.

Make sure they will not smoke in your house, nor use your phone for personal calls. Also, make it clear that they are not expected to be on their cell phone all night long. They are there to watch your child, not to entertain guests.

Well, what if you suspect that something negative is going on? Does your child freak-out when you talk about having this Babysitter come back? Has your child gone through a Personality Change since being with a certain Babysitter? Has your child 's eating habits changed? Is there a weight change? Any new Bruises that resemble being grabbed and/or squeezed? Nightmares?

Ever hear of a "Nanny Cam"? There has been alot of media coverage lately showing how a Hidden Camera helped expose Abusive Babysitters. This is the best way to catch a person in the act, and have taped evidence to insure a conviction. You can buy either a Wired Hidden Camera, or a Wireless Hidden Camera. Either one will work fine, but it depends on your situation. Some Hidden Camera Items would be expected to have a cord hanging from them, making it easy to place anywhere.

This would include items like Hidden Table Clock Cameras, or Hidden Caneras in a VCR, or a Lamp. The Wall Clock Hidden Camera is a very good choice.

A Wireless Camera can often be placed in a better viewing point because it is wireless. Keep in mind that even a Wireless Camera must have a power supply. This power supply takes the form of either a "battery" or a plug in power adaptor. The thin wire from the power adaptor is easy to conceal, and it will give constant power. A battery usually only lasts about 4-5 hours, and the picture degrades quickly.

The Wireless/Wired Hidden Clock Color Camera offers the best of both worlds. It houses a high resolutiuon lens, and a Transmitter. It can also be used direct wired. This type of Hidden Camera can be placed high, and out of the reach of prying eyes. Also, the Wireless Calculator Hidden Color Camera is also an excellent device.

These devices are not expensive, and could save a childs life.

Robert Nelson is a staff writer at Spy Supply Depot, the largest Spy Supply Website on the Internet. All kinds of Hidden Cameras are shown. Feel free to visit their website: http://www.spysupplydepot.com

As younger siblings do, she looked up to her older sister, the dancer, in a big way

2007-09-28T07:55:00.000-04:00

Teri was 5. As younger siblings do, she looked up to her older sister, the dancer, in a big way. Sara was 4 years older and was excelling in ballet, tap and jazz.

So we enrolled Teri in the same dance school and she really seemed to enjoy the lessons and her new friends. She was now, of course, a dancer, like her sister. And Teri very much looked forward to the climax of her first dance season, the year-end dance recital this school put on.

If you’ve ever been a dance parent, you of course realize that the obligation is quite large. Aside from the weekly lessons, scheduled on different days in our case, there is the extra investment of time and money preparing for the ‘big event’ - extra lessons and rehearsals, fittings for the completely different head-to-toe costume required for each dance number and a parents meeting for each dancer to make sure everyone was on the same stage come recital night. Baseball parents have it easy!

As fate would have it, Teri had surgery to lengthen her heel cord a few weeks prior to her dancing debut. But that didn’t stop her from lugging around the heavy cast trying keep up with the other performers. That’s my girl!

The big night arrives and in a flurry of hurried activity, we deliver our girls backstage complete with special hair do’s and a full coat of stage war paint and we take our seats in the auditorium.

The place darkens, the curtain rises and the show begins with the performances of some of the advanced students. They beam with pride showing off the stuff they had worked so hard on all year long. Two of Sara’s dances were slated and as always, she didn’t miss a step.

Then, to the “ahhhh, aren’t they cute”’s of the packed house, the curtain lifts to reveal Teri’s class of little tykes all in a line looking nervously around under the bright lights. At one end of the line was Teri, with her bulky cast in plain view and her hands tucked in the white muff in the starting position for “the Muff Dance.”

The moment arrived and music started. Teri didn’t. She just stood there, still as a statue, while her friends slipped into their well- rehearsed routine.

Was she nervous? Did she forget her steps? Did her foot hurt?

Then, as if on cue, she gracefully took her left hand out of the muff and raised it to her face, inserted her index finger into her nostril and with the precision of a Texas oil driller, began a full-scale exploration of the orifice that seemingly wouldn’t conclude until she hit paydirt! That’s my girl!

Needless to say, the place erupted into hysterical laughter that overrode the loud music. I began to slither down in my seat trying not to be among the majority who were splitting a gut at the spectacle and add to the embarrassment that Teri must have been beginning to feel.

Suddenly, as if it finally registered that the non-relenting roar of laughter was directed at her, she ran off the stage. I was already hustling out of the theatre to the backstage area in anticipation of having to do some creative parenting and intense consolation.

With a lot of tear drying and a little coaxing I managed to convince my little dancer to “get on with the show”, where she performed the rest of her numbers, without using her fingers.

The next year, she played tee ball.

Rick is co-creator of the breakthrough Make Every Day A Great Day Program. Read the powerful, life-changing testimonials and discover how this revolutionary product can dramatically change Your Life too!: http://www.MakeEveryDayAGreatDay.com/yes

Is Your Child Becoming A Praise Junkie?

2007-08-28T07:53:00.000-04:00

Do you praise your child when he fulfils a basic bodily function? Do you praise your child for obeying the laws of gravity? Do you give praise for simple socialisation procedures that your child practises every day?

No, you say. Have you ever praised your child for finishing all his meal? Ever praised a child for staying on his bike or perhaps staying vertical on roller-blades? Ever praised a toddler for their terrific smile and fantastic manners?

In the last few decades parents in many parts of the world including the US. UK and Australia have enthusiastically followed the positive parenting teachings, but for some praise for a job well done has become like a nervous tic.

“You finished your meal. What a guy!”

“That’s the best work I’ve ever seen!”

“You are such a clever little swimming girl.”

“You used the toilet. Let’s ring grandma and tell her what a clever girl your are!”

Sound familiar. Yes most parents are well aware of the notion of praise but are we going too far? Parents and teachers can praise children so much that it becomes a little like water off a duck’s back and so lack any real meaning for kids. Too much praise can actually be demotivating for kids.

Before condemning or pushing the virtues of praise it is worth remembering why parents have been encouraged to use it in the first place. Its origins can be traced to the need to provide a child with a positive level of self esteem. The benefits of positive or healthy self esteem has been well-researched in recent years with one recent British long-term study indicating that self-esteem is a better indicator for positive outcomes for kids than intelligence or high skills levels.

Children gain their self-esteem from the messages that they receive and through their interactions with the world. The main developmental tasks for children under ten is to work out what they can do and how they fit into the world. Am I a chump or champ? is a question that concerns many children. Praise has been promoted as the predominant parental tool to boost children’s self esteem. But like any tool it can be misused and indeed overused so that it becomes ineffective.

I have my concerns about praise as a successful parenting strategy. Yes, it can be overused however I have never met an adult who says that they can’t cope because they were overpraised as a child. But too much praise can be demotivating. If a child is told everything he does is FANTASTIC then how will he ever really know when he has done something that really is fantastic. Sometimes mediocrity needs to be recognised rather than boosted to another level.

I also have a hunch that overpraising kids also makes them dependent on others for their self-esteem. I have seen kids brought up on lavish diets of praise always checking in with their parents and teachers about how they are progressing. Constant comments such as “Is this good, Mum? Did I do well, Dad?” are signs of praise-dependent kids. You may say does this matter? I am not sure, but I think the more kids depend on others for their feelings of self-worth the more likely they are to be open to peer-pressure later on. Peers replace parents as people to please.

Encouragement is a far more powerful esteem-building tool than praise and it doesn’t have the adverse side effects. The differences are slim but important. Encouragement focuses on the process of what a child does whereas praise focuses on the end result. Encouraging comments focus on effort, improvement, involvement, enjoyment, contribution or displays confidence whereas praise concerns itself with good results. An encouraging parent gives children feedback about their performance but they ensure the feedback is realistic and they work from positives rather than negatives. An encouraging parent will note a child’s efforts in toilet-training and recognise that mistakes are part of the learning process so they are not too fussed about the results. Praise however is saved for a clean nappy and a full potty. Encouragement recognises that a child is participating and enjoying a game while praise focuses on winning or a fine performance. Okay, the differences are academic and it may seem like splitting hairs but the results on the potty, in a game or even at the kitchen table should concern children more than they do adults. As soon as we become more concerned about results than children we move into areas of children’s concern and out of areas of our concern. In short, praise is about control and encouragement is about influence.

In some ways kids can become saturated by encouragement just as they can by praise. And of course some children need more encouragement (or praise) than others. Certainly there are times in kids’ lives just as there are times in adults lives when an encouraging word is needed more than others. But the art of encouragement (or praising ) is about giving it when it is needed and when it is due rather than giving it thoughtlessly and with little meaning.

The use of encouragement, like praise, requires some moderation and restraint for it to be effective. Just as a child who gorges himself on lollies will soon lose interest in something that was once a treat a child who is praised for every little deed will eventually need a veritable phrase book of positives to get him motivated.

Michael Grose

You can learn more about the wonderful art of encouragement so that you can continuously boost your child's self-confidence in Michael's ebook - Encouragement, which is available at WWW.Parentingideas.com.au .

Michael Grose is a leading parenting educator. He is the author of six books and over 300 parenting columns in magazines and newspapers in three contintents.

For more practical ideas to help you raise happy kids and resilient young people visit WWW.Parentingideas.com.au. While you are there subscribe to Happy Kids, Michael's free email newsletter and receive free report - sven ways to beat sibling rivalry.

10 Steps To Prepare You For Life With Children

2007-07-28T07:52:00.000-04:00

It's hard to explain to the uninitiated the changes that a child will bring to your life - nothing is quite the same again. If you are an expectant father (or even mother) or just considering the prospect of parenthood, do the following 10-step program so you can learn what you're in for.

1. Go to the nearest doctor's surgery, pharmacy, clothes store, shoe store or sports store and empty your wallet onto the counter. This will be a regular occurrence well into the next millennium. The method of transaction may change but the continuous action of handing over your money will not.

2. Set your alarm for midnight, then every hour after that. Get up and walk to the furthest bedroom because that is what you will do at some stage, either to feed a baby or return a night-stalker to his room. Let your workmates see you with sleep deprivation - they will get used to it.

3. Put on your best clothes, mash a banana with custard and pour the contents over yourself. Smear it in. This will help your prepare for feeding time with a toddler. Don't bother smearing food over your old or worn-out clothes because kids won't spill anything on them. They know when you're wearing your best oufit before they strike.

4. Arrange a simple outing. Perhaps to have a quick drink with a friend. Give yourself two hours to prepare. Make sure you dress yourself in five minutes so you can spend the rest of the time packing the car. Make sure you pack food. Go out to the car and come back. Repeat this process again and again. Then drive round the block and return. You need to get used to forgetting some object such a child's favourite blanket or teddy.

5. Grab a book, sit down and open it. Make sure you get to an absorbing or exciting part, then get up to do part of a jigsaw puzzle, or turn on the tap for a child who wants a drink, or put together a 1000-piece Lego pirate ship. Return to your book but don't read any further. Go into the kitchen and chop up an orange or an apple for snack food. Go back to your book but don't read any further. Get up and yell something about not fighting because you're trying to relax.

6. Stand in front of the mirror and verbally abuse yourself. Tell yourself that you are silly, that you are unfair and that you really hate yourself. Your kids will tell you if you won't.

7. Cover your hands with jam and wander through the house, touching as many items of furniture as possible. Rub your hands along the walls. Turn on the TV and push the channel buttons a few times. Step in puddles then come inside and walk over your best chairs.

8. Bring in a load of tools and tip them over the middle of the living room floor. Leave them there all day.

9. Take three untrained puppies shopping with you - but not on a lead. Buy what you need without letting them out of your sight.

10. Put a snake on your lap next time you phone a friend. This is what your child as a two year-old will feel like whenever you make a call. Next time you want to make a call, wait two hours before picking up the phone. This is the average length of a teenager's phone conversation. Get used to it because that is how long you will have to wait to make your own call.

A LITTLE SUNDAY HUMOR: KIDS IN CHURCH

2007-06-27T10:14:00.000-04:00

A four-year-old Catholic boy was playing with a four-year-old Protestant girl in a children's pool in the backyard. They splashed each other, got very wet and decided to take their wet clothes off. The little boy looked at the little girl and said, "Golly, I didn't know there was that much difference between Catholics and Protestants."

~~~~~

While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently his five-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said, "Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto the Sonnnn. . . and into the hole you goooo."

~~~~~

The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of Elijah the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal. She explained how Elijah built the altar, put wood upon it, cut the steer in pieces and laid it upon the altar. And then Elijah commanded the people of God to fill four barrels of water and pour it over the altar. He had them do this four times. "Now, said the teacher, "can anyone in the class tell me why the Lord would have Elijah pour water over the steer on the altar?"

A little girl raised her hand with great enthusiasm and said "To make the gravy!"

Top Ten Things My Six Year-Old Son Has Taught Me

2007-05-27T10:11:00.000-04:00

I've learned numerous, important lessons on life, motherhood and men by being the mommy of a little boy...

1) Boys really can and will go to the bathroom anywhere. Some of them seem to really like going outside.

2) When little boys tell you they have to go to the bathroom "RIGHT NOW," they honestly mean it... They either can't hold or refuse to try to hold it like little girls can.

3) Boys can fake cry just as good as girls. My son actually practices his facial expressions in the mirror - like the sad, hopeless look designed to evoke sympathy and the scrunched up, tears are coming, "I'm really hurt" face, or the mean glare with his little cheeks puffed out as he grits his teeth determined not to smile...

4) It's true that boys hit harder than girls even when they're just playing around... I think it's a testosterone thing.

5) Leaving the toilet seat up is a habit males are born with. Most mommies will begin the battle to get them to put it down before they go to kindergarten. And many moms will still be in the battle with their sons when they graduate high school. It's a war we seldom win. My six year-old son rationalizes it like this: "Mommy you should feel lucky that I lift the seat up - Because if I didn't, when you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and it's really dark, just think how mad you would be if I peed with the seat down..."

6) It doesn't matter whether you're four years-old or 40, if you're a girl who can play kickball as good as the boys, you are COOL.

7) Even though we carried our sons in our wombs for nine months and went through the excruciating pain of childbirth to bring these delightful little boys into the world, threatening these miniature men with the phrase -

"I brought you into this world and I can take you out..."

instills much more fear in them when their fathers (or other prominent male figure in their life) say it.

8) But the fact that WE were the ones who were pregnant and WE were the parent who actually gave birth to these wondrous baby males, does give us their loyalty, partiality and perhaps biased support in disputes with their fathers (or any man).

9) If you are a single mother of a little boy, he will not think you are incapable of doing the things that are traditionally "guy" things - like fishing, going to the races, playing in the mud, tossing baseball or football, working on your car etc...

(Unless you show him that you can't do stuff like that or you choose not to attempt activities conventionally associated with men.)

10) There is nothing in this world comparable to the way it makes a mommy feel to have the unconditional, pure, innocent love of her little boy.

Resource Box - © Danielle Hollister (2004) is the Publisher of BellaOnline Quotations Zine - A free newsletter for quote lovers featuring more than 10,000 quotations in dozens of categories like - love, friendship, children, inspiration, success, wisdom, family, life, and many more

Eye-Opening Questions for Working Parents to Ask

2007-04-27T10:10:00.000-04:00

I remember watching my 18-month-old son eat a big frosted cookie while I was carrying him out of the bakery. I asked him, “Can you give mommy a bite?” He leaned over and gently bit me on the cheek.

Kids take things so literally. What misconceptions and concerns might your child have about their working parent?

An in-depth study was done through the Families and Work Institute, to find out what children want from their working parents. Wouldn’t you think the study would show that kids want more time with working parents above all else? Surprise. They want their working parents to be less stressed. That’s right. Less stressed. It makes sense. Doesn’t it? Think of how you feel after spending time with stressed-out people.

Balancing the needs of work and family isn’t easy. It takes skill, planning, and a lot of positive communication. Even then, it’s easy to get stressed by time constraints and conflicting demands, especially around the holidays.

Try asking your kids these eight questions. Their answers might surprise you.

* Where do I work?
* What do you suppose I do at work?
* Why do you think I go to work?
* What would it be like if I didn’t work?
* What do you like about me going to work?
* What’s the hardest part for you about me going to work?
* In what ways would you like things to be different?
* How do you suppose I feel about working?

Your family life will be enriched when you open communication by letting kids express their thoughts and ideas. Read the do’s and don’ts to prepare for an eye-opening conversation.

- Don’t insist on asking every question in one sitting. Continue as long as your child is interested in the conversation.

- Expect the unexpected. You may be delighted by some of your child’s thoughts and dismayed by others. Five-year-old, Bryan, told his dad with complete sincerity, “I think you go to work so you can be with friends your own age.”

- See your child’s negative responses as feedback to consider, instead of criticism.

- Don’t shut down communication, when you don’t like what you hear. Allowing your kids to fully express themselves will strengthen your relationship. Let them feel comfortable sharing their thoughts with you, even the scary or angry ones. Don’t make your kids fear your reaction.

- Acknowledge your child’s feelings. Suppose she says, “I think you go to work because you don’t like to be with me.” Resist the urge to cut her off with, “You know that’s not true!” Be helpful by saying, “I didn’t know you felt that way. Would you like to know how I feel about it? . . .”

- Focus on listening more than you talk. It’s easy for me to talk on and on about what I’m passionate about. What I’ve found is, the more I talk, the less my kids listen. They tune me out. Don’t overwhelm kids with too much information. Give brief and age appropriate responses.

- Encourage kids to guess when they aren’t sure how to answer a question. It takes the pressure off and makes the questions more playful.

- There isn’t always a quick fix to resolving conflict. When kids feel insecure or unhappy about family issues, don’t expect one conversation to clear everything up. It takes time for kids and adults to break out of old habits of thinking.

- If you are a stay-at-home parent, shed a positive light on the parent who works outside the home. I still remember the warm feelings I had when my mom would say, “Your daddy works so hard for his family.” Parents, whether married or divorced, working outside or inside the home, will reduce tension by showing appreciation for the positives of the other parent.

- The question, “What would it be like if I didn’t work?” may reveal your child’s favorite things to do. If she answers, “We would sing songs or play make-believe or read books,” you can sprinkle those activities into the time you have at home.

- Help kids understand that working is another way of taking care of them by providing financial support. It can be a model for achieving a sense of fulfillment and contribution to society. Don’t create fear around the need to work. Instead focus on the needs it meets.

- When your child shares feelings of hardship with having a working parent, show compassion not pity. Pity makes a child feel pitiful and feeds their insecurities. Talk about how the child wishes things could be. Possibly make changes to ease the hard parts for them and for yourself.

- Follow up the discussion with a visit to your workplace. If that’s not possible, show your child a picture of your workplace, or paint a picture with your words so they can imagine where you are when you aren’t home. This creates security for kids, replacing fear of the unknown with a positive image.

Tensions are reduced when kids and parents share their thoughts and ideas. Balancing work and family is tricky business, and well worth the efforts.

Marilyn Suttle shows you how to create satisfying work and family relationships, increase self esteem and self care. Marilyn shares delightful stories filled with useful skills and principles. She has presented programs to corporations both large and small, including Fortune 500 companies such as Ford Motor Company, Visteon Corporation, and Pfizer Pharmaceuticals. She delivers programs that enlighten, entertain and empower.Email her at Marilyn@SuttleOnline.NET. Subscribe to her Free monthly e-newsletter by visiting her web site: WWW.SuttleOnline.NET.

It can be said that any man who procreates is a father, whether present in that child’s life or not

2007-03-27T10:09:00.000-04:00

It can be said that any man who procreates is a father, whether present in that child’s life or not. While this is technically true, it really takes a man to be a dad!

There is nothing more insulting than a cavalier man thinking he has every right in the world to see the child he helped to create, but was never there for him or her. It is as if he or she is obligated to him like that of a debt.

As a child of a broken home and now as a father myself, I know the purest definition of being a dad is the time spent with your child that will always prevail in the end.

Would you remember your father more if he was a millionaire but never there, or a near-penniless man who spent time with you and showed you the love you needed?

To me, it’s a no brainer!

However, many dynamics can and do interfere with being a dad. Turmoil-ridden marriages, separations, relocations, resentment from the child, and the ever-abundant brainwashing of a child to hate.

So if you’re a father doing his best to be a dad, how do you overcome such obstacles?

Do everything in your power to maintain the bond you have with your child! If that means following that child to Timbuktu and lose your career, getting on better terms with the child’s mother, or simply putting more time into strengthening the father-child relationship.

If there is anything I can take from my own father, is that of sporadic appearances and child support from over 2000 miles away never satisfied my need for a dad. Today, as a 32 yr. old man, it has never been so evident how important a dad is in a child’s life. My humble opinion is that I would have had a lot less security issues had a dad been present in my childhood.

When your child was created, that little person should have been the most important part of your existence and to vow never to break that mindset should have been paramount. The seriousness of having a child from the conception and subsequently recognizing his or her importance could be the factor with dead beat dads in most cases.

How do you rank your values?

Simply put, if you’re ranked above your child, you’re not being a dad, you’re the father of that child who simply donated your sperm for his or her life.

Instead of just being a donor to another’s life, commit to taking the time to know your child and let them get to know you no matter what the conditions.

With this in mind, you will be doing the most important job of your life and that is helping the life you created become a loving, well adjusted person who can pass these parenting traits down to the next generation.

After all, isn’t that what being a dad is all about?

by Brian Maloney-ValuePrep.com

Want to improve your personal values? Get high-quality relationship advice for guys and women from a 'Logical' standpoint.

Visit ValuePrep - Relationship Advice

You may think once your child has gone off to school full-time (officially a First-Grader) that he/she no longer needs you...

2007-02-27T10:08:00.000-05:00

You may think once your child has gone off to school full-time (officially a First-Grader) that he/she no longer needs you...

You could not be more wrong...

Just consider the following three benefits of being an active part of your child's new school life.

1) You get to see your child more than before and after school. Whether you feel that you need this interaction or not, your child will surely appreciate it.

2) You get to know your child's classmates. You can better identify with who and what he/she is talking about when they come home from school.

3) You get to meet your child's various teachers, principals, school nurses, school secretaries etc... basically every adult who has any interaction with your child. These relationships alone can prove valuable in keeping you "in the loop" with what's really going on at school.

If these three basic reasons are not enough to motivate you, consider this: If you are not the parent volunteer for your child's class, somebody else will be... and thus they will know more about your child and his/her activities at school than you will. After raising and nurturing your child for the past five or six year, is this what you really want?

Resource Box - © Danielle Hollister (2004) is the Publisher of BellaOnline Quotations Zine - A free newsletter for quote lovers featuring more than 10,000 quotations in dozens of categories like - love, friendship, children, inspiration, success, wisdom, family, life, and many more

How can two or three children in the same family be so different?

2007-01-26T08:48:00.000-05:00

How can two or three children in the same family be so different? They are brought up in the same broad social environment, under a similar set of rules and an identical family value system. They also come from the same genetic pool yet they can be so different in personality, interests and achievement. While they may be born into the same family they are not born into the same position. The effects of their birth position have a significant impact on children, their behavior and their personalities. In order to really understand children it is useful to look at how their position in the family impacts on their development.

If we look at the big three in birth order – first, middle and youngest – we will notice that children born in each position share a similar set of characteristics. Note that birth order presents possibilities only for parents. Also only children share similar birth order characteristics to first borns – they are super first borns.

First borns are often more motivated to achieve than later borns. A greater percentage of first borns end up in the professions such as medicine and law. They go for jobs where determination, strong powers of concentration and discipline are valued. First borns are born into a pressured yet treasured position. They are usually the objects of great delight in a family – they are the first. Parents and grandparents often overdo everything with first borns. There is an air of expectancy even before their birth. Names are chosen half way through the pregnancy and photo albums are filled as baby’s every special moment is captured on film. They are the centre of attention, which is an obvious plus if you are a first-born child.

The flipside to this adulation is that first borns are coached, prodded and pushed to perform. The expectations are high for first borns, particularly first-born boys, so pressure is something they know all about. It is no coincidence that anecdotal evidence suggest that first born males tend to be lower risk-takers as learners than girls or those in other birth positions. First-born boys fear failure so they often steer away from areas where they can’t excel. Interestingly, some first borns confuse excellence with perfectionism and won’t try unless they can do the perfect job. These kids drive their parents and teachers nuts as they just won’t move out of their comfort zones to take a few risks and even (shock, horror) mess up. This is first-born thing.

First borns are trailblazers for parents and for the children to follow. Parents are usually hardest on their first borns in terms of discipline and they loosen up as they move further down the family. First borns usually don’t react well to the arrival of the second born. To parents the arrival of another child means a playmate for their eldest. To the first born the arrival of another child means only one thing –DETHRONEMENT. You can read the headlines: “The emperor loses his crown.” Well not quite. The first-born child does everything in his of her power to retain the favoured first position. He will point out the failings of the second born to his parents. In all likelihood as he grows up the first born may well be less than pleasant to this intruder –particularly if they are both boys.

According to Kevin Leman author of The New Birth Order Book there are two types of first borns. The first are the compliant nurturers and caregivers. These children love to please and also love to do well in school as they have a high need for mum or dad’s approval. They also like to look after and care for other children. These compliant nurturers are more likely to be girls. Parents often rely heavily on their first borns and let them take much of the responsibility around the home.

The second types of first borns are the aggressive movers and shakers. These children are assertive, achievement-oriented and strong-willed. They are often boys who have the drive but not the skills to be effective leaders. Their bull-in-a-China-shop approach doesn’t always endear them to others.

The middle (and in all likelihood the second) child is influenced by his elder sibling. The one rule of thumb about birth order is that children are directly influenced by the sibling above and will differ from that sibling. Frank Sulloway, the author of Born To Rebel, puts it succinctly, when he says that the first rule of the sibling road is that first and second borns will be different in personality, interests and achievement. Generally, the middle or second will be what the first-born isn’t. If the first born is responsible the next in line may well be a pest. If the first born is serious, as they often are, the second borns may well be easy-going and gregarious.

Middle born children are victims of bad timing. Born too late to get the perks and privileges of being born first but too early to get the easy ride that youngest receive, middles often feel squeezed between these two siblings and wonder, “Why me?” or “Its not fair!” The positive side to middle borns is that as they are squeezed between two siblings they are good negotiators and generally develop an adept set of people skills. They are often more flexible as their lives tend to fit in more with the first born. Also they tend to spend more time with children away from their family to avoid the frustration of being an outsider in the family. Middle children subsequently can end up with more friends than their elder sibling.

Middle born children, particularly if they are surrounded by other boys often become the free spirit or the child most likely to upset (annoy, hassle) his siblings. If you have three children sitting quietly watching television and you suddenly hear a yelp coming from the television room you can bet that the middle child has disturbed the peace in some way. Perhaps he has thumped the youngest or flicked the eldest with a ruler or some foreign object. Middles can be like that! They like to get even!

Parents need to be aware of the need to make middle children feel SPECIAL. Take photos of just them, and not the whole pack. Make sure you spend time with just them. Help them find their special talent that they don’t share with their siblings (that should be easy as they often stand apart).

Youngest children in the family are typically charmers and manipulators. They love to get their own way – and they invariably do. They are in the fortunate position of having a sibling break their parents in for them and they don’t have the pressures of the first born. Their birth is not the big event as was the first born’s arrival. Parents are still thinking of a name when they are putting the birth notice for the youngest in the paper. “Ah what will we call him? Jarrod will do. Yeah, that sounds fine.”

Youngest are often babied, spoiled, affectionate, outgoing and uncomplicated. The pressure is off the last borns in terms of having to meet their parents’ high expectations so they are more likely to achieve in their own ways. Creative, artistic pursuits are full of later or last borns, whereas firstborns are more likely to end up in positions of leadership. One of the traits many last borns share is persistence. They learn when they are young that if they persist with what they want they will outlast their siblings and wear their parents down eventually. Persistence is a characteristic that pays off for this group.

Last borns tend to be more impetuous – they act now and worry about the repercussions later. The positive is that they are more likely to stretch themselves and try new experiences than their siblings. The negative aspect for boys is that their tendency to jump first and think later on can be downright dangerous. Youngest born girls can often be babied and have their parents jumping through hoops to satisfy them.

Last borns can appear a little self-centred, which is probably due to the fact that they tend to do less at home to help others. There are bigger, more capable siblings at home to take all the responsibilities so youngest children can easily grow up with an ‘I’m here to be served’ attitude. It is important to give youngest borns plenty of opportunities to help around the home.

The position a child in his family holds is a predictor only of personality, but a powerful predictor nonetheless. It is definitely a factor that parents need to consider as we look for ways to raise happy, well-adjusted and confident children.

Michael Grose is an authority on birth order and affects on children’s personalities, interests and achievements. Read more about how birth order affects personality and behaviour in his brand new book Why first borns rule the world and last borns want to change it. You can purchase it for only $27.50 at WWW.Parentingideas.com.au

The Symtoms Of Meningitis And Septicaemia

2006-12-26T08:17:00.000-05:00

Meningitis is an inflammation of the membranes around the brain and spinal cord. It is caused by either a virus or bacteria.

Viral meningitis is usually mild and does not require medical treatment. Bacterial meningitis however can be life-threatening and can come on very quickly. Children under five are most likely to be affected and sadly some of these will die.

There are several types of bacteria that can cause meningitis, the most common being meningococcal bacteria. Most of carry this bacteria in our noses and throats without becoming ill. The bacteria can be passed through kissing, sneezing and coughing. Only if the bacteria reaches the blood stream does the person contract meningitis and/or septicaemia - most people who get meningitis will also get septicaemia.

Mercifully, meningitis and septicaemia cases are quite rare. However, it is important to know the symptoms as early treatment is vital.

Symptoms

High temperature - above 99.5°F/37.5°C.
Extreme sleepiness - difficulty in waking baby.
Headache.
Staring expression
Dislike of bright lights
Stiff neck
Difficulty breathing, or fast breathing.
Shivering.
Vomiting.
Purpley-red or brown rash.
Cold hands and feet.
Bulging soft spot (fontanelle).
Blotchy skin getting paler or turning blue.
A high-pitched or moaning cry.
Abnormally stiff body with jerky movements.

A septicaemia rash usually starts as purpley-red or brown pinpricks on the skin anywhere on the body. To check whether the rash is a sign of septicaemia, press a clear glass against the rash. Other rashes will fade, if this one does not do so it is likely to be septicaemia.

Kids and Sports: Fundamentals First

2006-11-26T08:10:00.000-05:00

Would you hand a child calculus problems once she was able to count to ten? A geometry text when he began to recognize shapes? War and Peace as soon as she could recite her ABCs? Of course not! Not only is it preposterous to have such expectations of a child, but also it sets up the child for failure — and, most likely, a dread of and distaste for calculus, geometry, and reading.

Yet all too many children are enrolled in gymnastics, karate, dance classes, and organized sports before they’ve mastered such basic movements as bending and stretching, walking with correct posture, and bouncing and catching a ball. How is that significantly different from expecting a child who’s barely learned to speak to recite the Declaration of Independence — for an audience, no less?

The fact that a little one can walk doesn’t necessarily mean he’s ready to successfully — or fearlessly — walk a balance beam. Because a toddler is flexible enough to get her big toe into her mouth, that doesn’t mean she’s ready for ballet’s pliés and relevés. Even if a five-year-old can run circles around you, it doesn’t mean he’s prepared to simultaneously run and dribble a ball in a fast-paced game of soccer. And how much sense does it make to enroll an eight-year-old in competitive softball while she’s still demonstrating an improper throwing form?

The basic motor skills — nonlocomotor (stationary, like bending and stretching), locomotor (traveling, like walking or hopping), and manipulative (object control, like bouncing and catching a ball) — have been called the ABCs of movement. And, just as we wouldn’t expect children to begin reading without the ability to identify letters of the alphabet, we shouldn’t expect children to take part in certain structured physical activities without first experiencing success with the ABCs of movement.

Movements — from the simple to the complex — are like building blocks. You must have the foundation laid before you can construct the ground floor. You’ve got to have the ground floor completed before the rest of the building can be erected. Similarly, a logical progression of motor skills is essential if children are to achieve optimal motor development. If they skip the prerequisites, they may never progress successfully from one level of skill development to the next.

Moreover, bad habits acquired early in life are likely to persist throughout an entire lifetime. For example, the young pitcher who hasn’t yet acquired a mature level of throwing isn’t likely to lose his bad habits simply because he’s required to pitch one or two games a week. Rather, the odds are these bad habits will simply become more and more ingrained as time goes on — a situation that could have ripple-effect consequences for years to come. He could, for instance, develop shoulder problems that prevent him not only from pitching in high school and beyond but also from taking part in recreational and fitness activities as an adult.

In the course of a lifetime, it is from the prenatal period through age five that children acquire and best learn the basic motor skills. The most sensible course of action, therefore, is to ensure children learn them correctly during this period. The least sensible strategy is for children to learn incorrectly or only to a certain, low level and expect them to correct their errors or improve their skill level merely because they age chronologically. Writing in the International Journal of Physical Education, motor development specialist and professor Carl Gabbard states: “In contemporary motor development literature, the period of early childhood is associated with the fundamental movement phase of motor behavior. This is a unique period in the lifespan due primarily to the emergence of fundamental movement abilities which establish the foundation upon which more complex movement skills are possible later in life.”

In other words, fundamentals first. Children should walk before they run. They should bend and stretch before they twist and dodge. They should throw for distance before throwing for accuracy. Static movement (balancing on tiptoes or hitting a ball off a tee) should precede dynamic movement (walking a balance beam or hitting a pitched ball). And children should definitely succeed at single actions (like bouncing a ball) before attempting combinations of them (simultaneously running and bouncing a ball).

Still, a study conducted at Northern Kentucky University found that almost half (49%) of children ages five to eight lacked the minimum skills necessary to play organized sports. And yet there are millions of five-to-eight-year-old — not to mention three– and four-year-old — children who are playing (or trying to play) organized sports. There are millions of others participating in dance, gymnastics, karate, and more who similarly lack the requisite skills.

Of course, if a child is involved in sports, dance, gymnastics, and such, there’s even more reason to ensure she’s able to successfully perform the fundamentals. First, fundamentals are the prerequisites to sport-specific, dance, and gymnastic skills. If a child can’t perform a skill required by her chosen activity, the chances are excellent she hasn’t sufficiently learned a prerequisite skill. Second — and perhaps more important — children who are successful in physical activities continue in those physical activities and others.

Rae Pica is a children’s physical activity specialist and the author of Your Active Child: How to Boost Physical, Emotional, and Cognitive Development through Age-Appropriate Activity (McGraw-Hill, 2003). Rae speaks to parent and education groups throughout North America. You can visit her at http://www.movingandlearning.com.

Naming Your Baby Is Part of The Challenge of Being a Parent

2006-10-26T08:05:00.000-04:00

Baby names are as diverse as the people to whom they are given. Choosing the right name for your baby can be a very challenging yet fun exercise! This is my story.

Before I was married I used to work as a midwife in a Labor Ward. I have helped deliver over 1,000 babies. It was an awesome feeling every time I placed the baby in the mother's arms for the first time. Often I would ask, 'What's your baby's name?' The mother would look up at me with such pride and say, 'His (or her) name is....'. I loved sharing their joy. Seeing the mother snuggle up to her baby and announcing her baby's name!

I was destined to be married! An unmistakable inner thought filled my mind at the age of sixteen. I knew then that I would do nurses' training, two years of bible college and then I would get married and go to Ethiopia as a missionary.

Bill, my husband-to-be, had been a single missionary in Ethiopia for five years. While praying one time, a strong impression came to him that God would give him a wife when he returned to Australia on leave. Bill stopped in Singapore on the way home and bought the engagement and wedding rings. He had just enough money left to buy a watch, and the brand name of the watch was “Rebekah”. As Bill was reading the story of Rebekah in the Bible, this verse stood out “Just as I led Abraham’s servant to find a wife for Isaac, I will lead you to your future wife.” (Genesis, chapter 24) Hang in there! I am telling you this story so that you will understand why we named one of our daughters Rebecca!

Bill arrived back in Australia and decided to visit the bible college where he had trained. On the way, Bill heard an inner voice saying, “She is in the college.” He prayed a prayer similar to Abraham’s servant, “Lord, let it be the first girl I meet.” I was the first girl he met! We were so sure of God’s plan for our lives that the next time we met we were engaged.

A few months later we were married and on our way as newly weds to work in an isolated area southwest of the capital, Addis Ababa, in Ethiopia. After three challenging years we flew home because of the imminent birth of our eldest child. We named her Leanne Maree. Leanne was a name we always wanted if we had a girl. Maree was chosen because the night we were engaged we went to see the movie, ‘The Sound of Music’ and Maree was our modern version of Maria in the musical.

We were back in Ethiopia for the birth of our second child. An American doctor helped bring Carolyn Joy into the world, in a remote Ethiopian hospital. To minimize the risk of infection, the doctor advised me to only stay in the hospital for one hour after giving birth. The nicest thing about the experience was bringing our little bundle of joy home! Carolyn Joy was named after the doctor's daughter.

With each pregnancy we expected a boy! We wanted to call him Peter, because Peter’s character in the Bible reminded me of myself. He was outgoing, loving, passionate and spoke his mind. We did not have ultrasound in Ethiopia to determine the sex of the baby so we anxiously waited to see if we would have a Leanne or Peter. When Carolyn was coming it was Carolyn or Peter. I was pregnant again when we left Ethiopia at the beginning of the communist’s occupation. This time it would be Peter Andrew or Rebecca Grace. Rebecca Grace won – she was named after Bill’s watch brand, Rebekah, and Grace is my second name!

With three beautiful girls we both agreed that Peter was not to be! Until one night I was reading from the Bible and these words stood out, “Next year you will have a son.” Peter Andrew was born nine months later.

No doubt if you are having a child or have had children you can tell a story of how you came to choose your baby’s name. Choosing the right baby name is one of the biggest decisions you will have to make in life.

Talking of names! Another big decision you will have to make is whether you will have your name written down in Heaven. The Bible says clearly that the moment you come alive spirituality and become God’s child your name is written down in Heaven. When you become his child, your name is recorded in his family register. A cartoon flash presentation on my website (www.ydyc.org) will show you how you can become God’s child and have your name written down in Heaven. You can be sure of your final destiny.

Wilma Watson is the producer of the cartoon website: http://www.ydyc.org

She has a passion to help people reach their maximum potential through making spirituality simple and fun.

Choosing the right name for your baby can be a very challenging yet fun exercise! This her my story.

Who Are Your Kids Talking To Online?

2006-09-25T05:41:00.000-04:00

Studies have shown that:

1 out of 4 children were sent pictures of people who were naked or having sex?

1 out of 5 children were solicited for sex on the Internet

50% of people have made phone calls with someone the chatted with online.

Do you know what strangers are saying to your kids?

What can you do to protect your children from unscrupulous people in the Internet?

Today's children, and specially teens, spend more time on the computer. Even though the Internet is nowadays the primary source of communication for them, it is also a dangerous place.

There are some unscrupulous people out there that would go to any extent to engage in indecent conversations and relationships with your children.

A study done with 1,200 teenagers revealed that 30% had been sexually harassed online and about 50% had conducted cyber love affairs, visited porn sites and read their parents' e-mails.

Curiosity can be very dangerous. Even though this is normal at their age, curiosity can lead to giving out personal information such as names, addresses, phone numbers, school names and more.

Since the other person talking to your kids cannot be seen, a 55-year old can pose as a 16-year old and win your kid's trust very easily.

I know that we, as parents, are not always watching what our kids are doing online but it's important to know the options we have to protect our children and avoid major problems.

There are blocking softwares that you can purchase to filter web sites containing sex, sexuality and other adult sites. You can also get a spy software that will let you know everything your kids are doing online.

These softwares will monitor instant messages, chats, emails, web site URLs and much more. Not only do you see what your child types online but what is said back as well. They monitor both incoming and outgoing activity. Additionally, your kids will not be able to get around the software programs by clearing cache or history because they get everything as it happens, including passwords.

These software programs run in total secrecy, and are very hard to find in the computer. They will not slow down your computer, or do anything noticeable to the user. In order to see the recorded information, all you do is enter your secret password and they will activate…but only for you.

These programs do not appear in the START menu, nor will they appear in the CTR-ALT-DEL Task Manager.

Protect Your Children Now.

Maria Estarellas is the webmaster for http://www.1mykids.com "The Complete Website For The Whole Family". Parenting Tips, Crafts, Hobbies, School Projects and Essays, Toys, Gifts, Clothing, Articles, Mortgage Tips, How to Start Your Own Online Business and More.

Clean Jokes About Parents And Children

2006-08-11T09:58:00.000-04:00

The Baby-Sitter
A young man agreed to baby-sit one night so a single mother could have an evening out. At bedtime he sent the youngsters upstairs to bed and settled down to watch football.

One child kept creeping down the stairs, but the young man kept sending him back to bed.

At 9pm the doorbell rang, it was the next-door neighbor, Mrs. Brown, asking whether her son was there. The young man brusquely replied, "No."

Just then a little head appeared over the banister and shouted, "I'm here, Mom, but he won't let me go home!"

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Going Out
A couple was going out for the evening. The last thing they did was to put the cat out.

The taxi arrived, and as the couple walked out of the house, the cat shoots back in. So the husband goes back inside to chase it out.

The wife, not wanting it known that the house would be empty, explained to the taxi driver "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."

A few minutes later, the husband got into the taxi and said, "Sorry I took so long, the stupid thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!"

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Women Should Not Have Children After 35
This is one of those controversial statements but I fully stand behind it.
Women should not have children after 35!
Some say, "Of course women can have children after 35!"
They don't know what they are talking about and I can guarantee they have had very little experience in the matter.
I don't care what the doctor says.
I don't care what your friends say.
I don't even care what your pastor says.
Women should not have children after 35!
I don't advise it, I vehemently recommend against it,
and loudly and even at times rudely tell people "don't even consider it."
You can quote me on this. If you want to say that I said it. And I said it more than once.
"Women should not have children after 35!"
Some will send rude e-mails proclaiming the freedom of the womb but I still stand by what I said.
You may disagree with me, that's your right.
I still stand firm on the issue.
With most things I keep an open mind but not on this issue.
If I find an exception to this rule, then I will be open to change
but for now, it's firmly closed because I have never seen an exception.
Women should not have children after 35!

35 children are enough!

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When Dad came home he was astonished to see Alec sitting on a horse, writing something. " What on earth are you doing there ?" he asked.

"Well, the teacher told us to write an essay on our favourite animal. That's why I'm here and that's why Susie's sitting in the goldfish bowl !"

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Little five year old Johnny was in the bath tub, and his mom was washing his hair. She said to him, "Wow, your hair is growing so fast! You need a haircut again."

Little Johnny replied, "Maybe you should stop watering it so much."

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Mommy's Way
A man went to the store with his 3-year-old daughter in tow. Since he was just there to grab some essentials like milk and bread, he opted to save some time by not pushing a cart around the store.

"That's not the way Mommy does it," his daughter informed him.

"I know, dear, but Daddy's way is OK, too," he replied.

Leaving the store in the rain and without a cart, he carried the bag of groceries, his daughter, and the milk quickly to the car. Not wanting to set anything down on the wet ground, he set the jug of milk on top of the car, efficiently whisked open the car door with his now free hand, scooted the groceries in and set his daughter into the car seat in one swift motion. Then he hopped in himself.

"That's not the way Mommy does it," his daughter informed him again.

"Honey, there's more than one way to do things," he replied patiently. "Daddy's way is OK, too."

As they pulled out and headed down the street, he became aware of the scraping sound on the roof as the jug of milk slid down the length of the rooftop, bounced off the trunk of the car and splattered to the ground, sending a froth of white milk in every direction.

In the millisecond he took to process his mistake, his young daughter looked at him, and in a most serious voice said, "That's NOT the way Mommy does it."

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Parents
Two kids are talking to each other. One says, "I'm really worried. My dad works twelve hours a day to give me a nice home and good food. My mom spends the whole day cleaning and cooking for me. I'm worried sick!"

The other kid says, "What have you got to worry about? Sounds to me like you've got it made!"

The first kid says, "What if they try to escape?"

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A father was trying to teach his young son the evils of alcohol.

He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whiskey. The worm in the water lived, while the one in the whiskey curled up and died.

"All right, son," asked the father, "what does that show you?"

"Well, Dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, you will not have worms."

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Mommy Ate It
For weeks a six-year-old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house.

One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event.

The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, "Tommy, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?"

Tommy burst into tears and confessed, "I think Mommy ate it!"

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A four-year-old boy and his father went to the beach. There was a dead seagull lying on the sand. The boy asked his father, "Dad, what happened to the birdie?"

His dad told him, "Son, the bird died and went to heaven."

Then the boy asked, '"And God threw him back down?"

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Little Girl to her friend: "I'm never having kids. I hear they take nine months to download."

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Teddy came thundering down the stairs, much to his father's annoyance.

"Teddy,' he called, 'how many more times have I got to tell you to come down the stairs quietly? Now, go back up and come down like a civilised human being."

There was a silence, and Teddy reappeared in the front room.

"That's better," said his father. "Now will you always come down stairs like that?"

"Suits me," said Teddy. "I slid down the bannister."

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One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

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One day Joe's mother turned to Joe's father and said," It's such a nice day, I think I'll take Joe to the zoo."

"I wouldn't bother," said father. "If they want him, let them come and get him!"

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A six-year-old boy called his mother from his friend Charlie's house and confessed he had broken a lamp when he threw a football in their living room.

"But, Mom," he said, brightening, "you don't have to worry about buying another one. Charlie's mother said it was irreplaceable."

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Asking to Play
George knocked on the door of his friend's house. When his friend's mother answered he asked, "can Albert come out to play?"

"No," said the mother, "it's too cold."

"Well, then," said George, "can his football come out to play?"

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Little Johnny's new baby brother was screaming up a storm. He asked his mom, "Where'd we get him?"

His mother replied, "He came from heaven, Johnny."

Johnny says, "WOW! I can see why they threw him out!"

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No Sale
"Is your mother home?" the salesman asked the small boy.

"Yeah, she's home," the boy said, scooting over to let him past.

The salesman rang the doorbell, got no response, knocked once, then again. Still no one came to the door. Turning to the boy, the fellow said, "I thought you said your mother was home!?"

The kid replied, "She is; but this isn't where I live."

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Little Brother: "If you broke your arm in two places, what would you do ?"

Boy: "I wouldn't go back to those two places, that's for sure."

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May: "What position does your brother play in the school football team?"

Jay: "I think he's one of the drawbacks!"

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Big Brother: "That planet over there is Mars."

Little Brother: "Then that other one must be Pa's."

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Father: "I hear you skipped school to play football."

Son: "No I didn't, and I have the fish to prove it !"

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An irate woman burst into the baker's shop and said, " I sent my son in for two pounds of cookies this morning, but when I weighed them there was only one pound. I suggest that you check your scales."

The baker looked at her calmly for a moment or two and then replied, " Ma'am, I suggest you weigh your son."

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"Mum, can I please change my name right now?" asked Ben.

"But why would you want to do that, dear ?" said his mum.

"Because Dad said he's going to spank me as sure as my name's Benjamin !"

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Little Jimmy's preschool class went on a field trip to the fire station. The firefighter giving the presentation held up a smoke detector and asked the class: "Does anyone know what this is?"

Little Jimmy's hand shot up and the firefighter called on him.

Little Jimmy replied: "That's how Mommy knows supper is ready!"

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Raj had been talking on the phone for about half an hour before he hung up. His father said, "Wow! That was short. You usually talk for an hour. What happened?"

Raj replied, "It was a wrong number."

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There was a little boy named Johnny who used to hang out at the local corner market. The owner didn't know what Johnny's problem was, but the boys would constantly tease him. They would always comment that he was two bricks shy of a load, or two pickles short of a barrel. To prove it, sometimes they would offer Johnny his choice between a nickel (5 cents) and a dime (10 cents) and John would always take the nickel -- they said, because it was bigger.

One day after John grabbed the nickel, the store owner took him aside and said "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. They think you don't know the dime is worth more than the nickel. Are you grabbing the nickel because it's bigger, or what?"

Slowly, Johnny turned toward the store owner and a big grin appeared on his face and Johnny said, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I have saved $20!"

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The Fiance
After Leslie brought home her fiance to meet her parents, her father invited the young man into his study to find out more about him.

"What are your plans?" he asked Joseph.

"I'm a scholar of the Torah," Joseph replied.

"Well, that's admirable," Leslie's father replied. "But what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter?"

"I will study, and God will surely provide for us," Joseph explained.

"And how will you buy her a nice engagement ring?"

"I will study hard, and God will provide for us."

"And children?" asked the father. "How will you support children?"

"Don't worry, sir, God will provide," replied the fiance.

The conversation continued in much the same fashion. After Joseph and Leslie had left, her mother asked her father what he found out.

The father answered, "Well, he has no job and no plans, but the good news is that he thinks I'm God."

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Talking Clock
A young man moved away from his parents to become a student. Proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night, he led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong.

"What's that big brass gong?" one of the guests asked.

"It's not a gong. It's a talking clock," the man replied.

"A talking clock? Seriously? Asked his astonished friend.

"Yup," replied the student.

"How's it work?" the 2nd guest asked, squinting at it.

"Watch," the student replied. He picked up a hammer, gave it an ear-shattering pound and stepped back.

The three stood looking at one another for a moment. Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed: "You idiot, it's ten past three in the morning!"

Here is a top secret to make your child genius

2006-07-25T05:39:00.000-04:00

Here is a top secret to make your child genius or ot recognise his geniusness, it is as follows Graphology for Child development.:- Graphology is the science of understanding the human mind through person’s handwriting. When a person writes, the signal in the form of letters get decoded / printed on the paper by the fingers. Graphology aims at understanding & interpreting these signals through the writing. Using this we can know a persons mind so the thoughts, character and behavior.

Every child’s mind is programmed in the childhood by the influence of the male and female images in the child’s life usually the parents. By the help of graphology Parents can understand their children in a better perspective & will come to know there strengths, weaknesses, likes, dislikes, Skills way of thinking, health & influence of their parents on him and can mould them to enhance their hidden skills for becoming better loving responsible individuals of tomorrow.

Career Selection for child :-

Graphology (handwriting analysis) can help you & your child in selecting the right career (E.g. Engineering – Electronic, telecom, Civil, Mechanical, Robotics, Medical, Art, Drama, Music, Etc) as per the interest, abilities, skills, creativity & expertise of a child.

It is also helpful to sharpen his creativity & intellect.

Requires no tests :- Handwriting analysis (Graphology) doesn’t require any IQ tests / personality tests / assessment tests. Only thing requires is the pen & paper.

It helps in understanding & removing the mental blocks & removal of key aspects of failure – Procrastination, Indecision, lack of Persistence, self-deceit, ego dominance, etc. to achieve greater personal & professional success.

My graphology (handwriting analysis) research basically focuses on thought process of a child coz a single thought can make throughout changes in personality and character.

What you think ?, What your Child think (+ve or –ve) ? Which is the eminent trait that you don’t know but it is affecting your child? There is too much can be written on this topic, to know everything – experience it. (Pls visit - http://www.brendynamics.com/gr ) Moral is graphology can make bright improvements in his personality (Personal, Social, Physical, Sexual, Intellectual, Spiritual, Etc.)

Because every child is born Genius, There is no PROBLEM CHILD ; Its our inability to recognize their inner instinct. Always remember - A Loving emotionally responsive parent will invoke positive, cooperative, loving responses form the child.

With all that we know about smoking, it is astounding that young people will still take that first puff of a cigarette just to see what it is like

2006-06-25T05:38:00.000-04:00

We begin forming healthy habits at a young age. With all that we know about smoking, it is astounding that young people will still take that first puff of a cigarette just to see what it is like. Many will not stop at that first experimental puff. Here are three things you can do to ensure that your child will not be tempted to smoke cigarettes:

1) If you happen to be a smoker, you need to quit. This is first and foremost. Do it for yourself as well as your children. Children are so quick to model the behavior of their parents. If they see parents using good manners, children will use good manners. If they see parents consistently eating healthy foods, they will be more likely to choose healthy foods. If they see their parents smoking cigarettes…well, you get the idea. If you are a smoker and you tell your children that they should not smoke then you are sending mixed messages. You need to show them as well as tell them.

2) Start talking to your kids early. You can start warning them about the dangers of smoking as soon as they are able to comprehend. You can tell a four year old that their heart and lungs are nice and healthy and pink, and that smoking will cause them to rot and turn black. Get graphic – instill a mental picture of the consequences. If you are watching a show together and see someone smoking on television, use that as an opportunity to talk about the harmful effects of tobacco.

3) Help your child to develop a positive self image. Get your youngster involved in activities in which he or she is interested. This will help her to make friends and to feel good about accomplishments. It is not a surefire way to keep kids from smoking, but it will certainly help to develop higher self esteem – which will help them to say “no” when the time comes.

Even though at times our children seem mature and knowledgeable, it is always best to take the time out of our busy day to let them know that we care about the choices they are making. Talk to them early and often about the dangers of tobacco, and you will both have an easier time when they reach those critical teen and pre-teen years.

Stacy Tabb is an author and publisher of many successful informational websites, including an antiaging website aimed at the prevention of age-related conditions.

Home schooling. What is it? What does it mean to you? How do you home school?

2006-05-25T05:37:00.000-04:00

Home schooling. What is it? What does it mean to you? How do you home school? These were just some of the questions I had when we started thinking about home schooling our children.

While our daughter was a baby, I started reading articles in the paper about the local schools. Our school district was in financial trouble. They were cutting services and staff over and over again. The elementary schools were eliminating librarians, day time janitors, band, and the parents were fund raising for a crossing guard. That’s when I realized that the local public school would not be anything like the school I went to.

Our first step was checking out the private school options. There are three Montessori schools within a 20 minute drive, a variety of Christian schools, and a Waldorf school about 45 minutes away. As I went and sat in classrooms, I realized that I didn’t want my daughter spending most of her childhood in those classrooms. Nothing seemed to fit what I saw as her needs for education.

It didn’t take me long to realize that home learning could be the best choice for Katherine. She is an intelligent child who does things in her own time. She didn’t start talking until she was about 2.5 years old. About a year latter, we went through a speech assessment to find out if there were any long term problems. She could say all of the sounds of a 2 year old, less than half of the sounds of three and four year olds and almost all the sounds of five and six year olds! The final assessment was that her speech development did not fit the norm, but was OK. What if they hadn’t tested her for the more advanced sounds? The results would have been very different.

This test echoed the developmental patterns we had seen with Katherine from the beginning. Any time I tried to compare her to a chart, she was fine at the levels below, had some of the skills at her current level, but quite a few from the level above. While I think she might like all the kids in the classroom, I am afraid that she will be labelled as ‘below average’ because she doesn’t fit their standard tests. I do not want her public schools. Home learning was no longer a choice, but a very firm decision.

Fortunately, we live in a popular home learning area with some of the best legislation for home learners in Canada. I had never planned to home school, and wasn’t quite sure what it meant. I did know people whose children learned at home, and it seemed to work for their families. I subscribed to one of the two local newsletters and started listening to conversations about learning at home.

I liked what I read, saw and thought about. Most of my remaining doubts were about me as a teacher. I love my children, our 6 year-old daughter Katherine, now has a 3 year-old brother Duncan. I feel priveledged to be spending their childhoods with them. However I do get impatient, need my own space some times, and don’t have a teaching background. Could we home learn? We would try and see what happened.

An experienced home learning parent had told me about a great activity they did tracing coins and learning about money. Although Katherine was only 4y at the time, she loved coins and it sounded perfect for us. I picked a time when she and I wouldn’t get interrupted, gathered the materials, and sat down to teach her about money. ( Experienced home learning parents are probably having a great laugh at this point. )

We started to trace the coins on paper to show how five pennies make a nickel, and two nickels make a dime. Much to my surprise, Katherine was not enjoying herself. She refused to count the number of pennies with me, wouldn’t help trace circles, and became generally difficult. Finally I was so annoyed I just put everything away. She came up and hugged me and said ‘I still love you Mommy’. My heart melted, but the doubts in my abilities remained.

A week latter, Katherine was watching TV and told me which three shows which shows were listed on the screen. She had never even watched one of the shows. I sat in stunned silence. She was right. Was it a good guess? Had she memorized them or could she read? I hadn’t planned to ‘teach’ her how to read until she was 7 or 8. We hadn’t even started any language lessons. What was going on? This event was not part of the plans I had been making for her home schooling education.

Truthfully, I don’t think she could read that day, but I’m not certain about that statement. She is quite capable of selectively answering our questions when it suits her. We knew she could sing the alphabet song, and recognize some letters. I have been able to discover that she knows what all the letters look like, and can correctly tell us which letter starts most words (‘My grandmother’s name is Margery, what letter does Margery start with?”), even when she has never seen or heard the word before.

My husband and I have talked about this situation a few times. When she choses to answer our questions, we find out she knows way more than either one of us thought she did. She has correctly found a show she would like to watch listed in the TV Guide, much to my amazement since the look of the words in the TV Guide is very different from the logo with the show’s name on TV. It’s not just sight recognition. We don’t know where or how she has learned these skills.

What has become clear is that Katherine doesn’t need me to ‘teach’ her or have a master plan for her education. I do have to provide a good learning environment, answer her questions, help when she asks, and watch her learn.

I knew she would learn to walk, talk, and all those hundreds of other things babies are suppose to learn in their first few years. There is no reason to create an artificial line between life learning and academic learning. For me, that was one of the reasons I thought home learning was great. Yet I still fell into the trap of trying to artificially set-up a teaching situation. No wonder Katherine wanted nothing to do with my planned lesson.

I have to remember to trust her. She loves learning in her own way, at her own pace. Now if I can just stay out of her way, she will to a great job all by herself. I am looking forward to having a wonderful time watching her grow and learn in the coming years. I just hope I can remember what I learned from our first home lesson.

Christine Nicholls loves being mommy to Katherine who is now 9y and Duncan who is 6y. Her business, Creative Kids at Home (http://www.ckah.com) lets her combine her skills and business background with full-time parenting, and is a lot of fun for her kids.

They surveyed 90,000 kids to find out that families that love, care for, and nurture each other produce kids who don't get in trouble as much

2006-04-25T05:36:00.000-04:00

"Family Matters" was the headline that caught my attention in the newspaper. That's the name of my radio program here in California's central valley. It was interesting enough for me to buy the paper and read the story. The article was about a recent study called The National Longitudinal Study on Adolescent Health, a survey of about 90,000 teenagers (age 12-18). The sub-headline was "Study debunks belief nothing works with teens."

My first response was, "Who's belief is that?" The reporter wrote as if a new revelation had just been handed down from heaven in the form of this study. As a result of this major study on adolescents, she wrote, we have found that "families are more important than previously thought, perhaps as important as peers. . . The primacy of peer relationships has been a widely held concept among professionals since the 1960's."

Yes, the reporter, and the researchers, were shocked to find out that the family is still important! "These findings offer the parents of America a blueprint for what works in protecting their kids from harm," said Richard Udry of UNC Chapel Hill.

What is this amazing, secret blueprint that will now be revealed to you parents who are assumed to not know any better? "The most significant finding is that the teenagers who reported feeling close to their families were the least likely to engage in any of the risky behaviors studied . . . Nearly as important were high expectations from the parents for their teenager's school performance."

I'm stunned.

They surveyed 90,000 kids to find out that families that love, care for, and nurture each other produce kids who don't get in trouble as much as families that cast their kids into the hands of other teenagers (known as the "peer group") to be raised by a pack of 15 year olds. Also, families where parents actually CARE about school performance, and expect their kids to work to their potential produce kids who don't get into trouble as much as families who don't care.

I'm glad science has finally come around to this point of view.

How bad are things across America? Pretty bad for many families. Using a sample size of 12,118 students interviewed, here's the picture of teenagers in America today:

Teens who smoke 25 percent
Smoked marijuana at least once in past month 11 percent
Used alcohol more than once in past month 17 percent
Attempted suicide in past year 3 percent
Seventh and Eight Graders who have engaged in sex 16 percent
High Schoolers (9th - 12th grades) who have engaged in sex 48 percent
"The only factor that was linked with a lower risk factor across the board was a close-knit family, the study found."

So parents, please get more involved in the lives of your children. Spend more time with them. Quantity time is as important as quality time. Encourage your teens to work hard to reach their goals. Encourage them to "do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with their God." Parents should be their teen's role models, not other teens who have yet to experience much in the way of life or wisdom themselves. Parents, let's step it up a bit. It will make a big difference in the lives of our teens.

Douglas Cowan, Psy.D., is a family therapist who has been working with ADHD children and their families since 1986. He is the clinical director of the ADHD Information Library's family of seven web sites, including http://www.newideas.net, helping over 350,000 parents and teachers learn more about ADHD each year. Dr. Cowan also serves on the Medical Advisory Board of VAXA International of Tampa, FL., is President of the Board of Directors for KAXL 88.3 FM in central California, and is President of NewIdeas.net Incorporated.

Kids in active families benefit in more ways than physical.

2006-03-10T23:37:00.000-05:00

The Kirkendoll kids have grown up watching their parents run, swim and cycle.

Thad and Debi Kirkendoll are triathletes and train nearly every day.

So it was a natural transition when Aron, 11, and Haley, 9, wanted to get involved, too.

The Kirkendolls live in Anthem and often head to the country club pool, where they'll share two lanes swimming laps. Other times it's off to the track for a running workout.

"Now, instead of sitting around inside, we'll say, let's go train. It's our natural thing and something we can do as a family," says Thad Kirkendoll.

Parents who get their kids involved in sports love it not only for the time spent together, but also for the life lessons offered: commitment, responsibility and sportsmanship.

"You can't get up one day and run 13 miles," says Sam Montes, who is training with his 12-year-old son, Sam Jr., for the P.F. Chang's Rock 'n' Roll Arizona Marathon & 1/2 Marathon in January. "You have to run nearly every day to get there.

"He plays fall baseball, and some days he doesn't feel like running three miles, but I'll call him on his commitment to do this," says Montes, who lives in Phoenix.

Running and cycling are two great activities to share with your kids because you can start right from your front door. But even taking your kids out to the golf course or the hiking trails can be fun family time if you heed some suggestions from the experts.

Think about your goal
"What are you trying to do? Are you trying to develop a love for a lifelong activity or are you trying to make your kid into a jock?" says Chuck Corbin, professor emeritus in the Department of Exercise and Wellness at Arizona State University Polytechnic campus. "Think about what you're trying to do, and use your activity as a means to an end."

If your goal is to spend time together, hiking can be a fun afternoon if you don't make it into a multimile march.

Consider your child's age
Parents wonder why today's kids, who supposedly have such short attention spans, can spend hours at a video game. "It's mastery," says Corbin. "They master one skill and build on it and go on to the next level."

An athletic activity should be handled the same way, he says. If the child isn't old enough to master any of the basic skills, it won't be fun. Preschoolers or younger school-age kids are seldom able to master catching and throwing.

"If they can't catch the ball, they'll become frustrated," he says. "They'll say they'll love it to please their parents, but it won't be fun."

And kids usually don't understand rules until about age 10 or 11.

Age is also a safety consideration, says Ken Love, president of the Arizona Bike Club. He doesn't recommend allowing kids younger than 14 to go on group rides because they can be a hazard to the other riders. "They'll pull out or pull in front of other riders," he says. "You don't want sudden, unsignaled stops because the group could go down like a bunch of dominoes."

Also, kids younger than that don't have a sense of how fast cars travel and what drivers are likely to do.

Modify the gear
Cycling is great exercise and is quite the social activity here in the Valley. But for kids younger than 10 or so, tandem biking is the parent's best bet.

"It gives the child some pedaling experience but more importantly it gives them exposure to proper signaling and road recognition," says Love.

Mike Bochenek, assistant director of junior golf for Tempe, says he gives kids special clubs and softer balls, and they play around flags on the green.

"We still teach the fundamentals of the swing, and they get a feeling of accomplishment," he says of the equipment, called SNAG ("start new at golf").

Let them play
Too many parents try to force lessons too early, says John Gunby, director of golf at Shalimar Country Club in Tempe.

"Instead of lessons, just take them out to the course and let them goof around," he says.

Many courses won't allow that, and that's too bad, he says. "We allow families to come out and have fun. They can whack pine cones if they want to."

If you're uncomfortable taking kids on a golf course, take them to a driving range, says Bochenek. "Don't have any expectations, just let them experience it."

The way to let kids have fun is for the parents to have fun, Gunby says.

"Don't take yourself too seriously. The kids need to see you enjoying it, and they'll model your behavior. If they see you cursing and throwing your clubs, they'll say 'Why do I want to do this?' " More>>>

Teachers can blame Jay Leno for a whole new generation of class clowns

2006-02-01T23:27:00.000-05:00

The NBC "Tonight" show host has churned out hundreds of kid-tested, kid-approved jokes for a new book that also mixes in the answer he usually gives to young people who ask him advice on what they should do if they want to be a comedian.

"I think this is cheaper and more effective than Ritalin," Leno told The Associated Press on Friday. "A lot of kids just have a lot of energy and are bouncing off the walls. So why not channel it? Have them write some jokes and put a show together, get some of that energy out."

Leno advises kids who want to go into his line of work to speak in public as much as they can, saying it's hard to tell jokes in front of an audience if you're not comfortable being in front of an audience in the first place.

Leno and his chief "Tonight" show writer, Joe Medeiros, wrote the jokes together and brought children of young staff members in to see if they would laugh.

"Something like, `What does Homer Simpson use to make bread? Dough!'" he said. "Kids really think that's funny."

If teachers are unhappy at the prospect of hearing these jokes in school, police officers have reason to smile. Leno said he is donating any money that "How to Be the Funniest Kid in the Whole Wide World (or Just in Your Class)" to Concerns of Police Survivors Inc., which benefits the families of law enforcement officers killed on the job.

"I'm in a business where people throw money at you," he said. "They're in a business where people shoot at you. It's just a way of saying thanks." Source>>>

The Reason We Love Kids:

2006-01-09T21:57:00.000-05:00

( #1)
A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat. She asked him if it was dead or alive. "Dead." She was informed. "How do you know?" she asked her pupil. "Because I pi**ed in its ear and it didn't move,"answered the child innocently. "You did WHAT??" the teacher exclaimed in surprise. "You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move.

(#2)
A small boy is sent to bed by his father.
Five minutes later.... "Da-ad...."
"What?"
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."

Five minutes later:
"Da-aaaad....."
"WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"
"I told you NO If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"

Five minutes later......
"Daaaa-aaaad....."
"WHAT ? "
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"

(#3)
It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?" The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bit** to iron,"

(#4)
When I was six months pregnant with my third child,my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said,"Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy" "I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?"

(#5)A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bit** is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bit** is nine...." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom." "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered.

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the nextday, "What are you teaching my son in math?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."

The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to saytwo plus two, that son of a bit** is four?"

After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

(#6)
One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?" One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy Sh**! A talking chicken!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

Some Cute Jokes To Tell The Kids

2005-12-06T09:55:00.000-05:00

Q: Which of Santa's reindeers needs to mind his manners the most?
A: Rude-olph.

~~~~~~

Q: What reindeer has the cleanest antlers?
A: Comet.

~~~~~~

Q: Where do Santa's reindeers like to stop for lunch?
A: Deery Queen.

~~~~~~

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite

Bring me a red wagon for Christmas

2005-12-06T09:53:00.000-05:00

It was the day after Christmas at a church in San Francisco. The pastor of the church was looking over the cradle when he noticed that the baby Jesus was missing from among the figures of the nativity set. Immediately he turned and went outside and saw a little boy with a red wagon, and in the wagon was the figure of the little infant, Jesus. So he walked up to the boy and said, "Well, where did you get Him, my fine friend?"

The little boy replied, "I got him from the church."

"And why did you take him?"

The boy said, "Well, about a week before Christmas I prayed to the little Lord Jesus and I told him if he would bring me a red wagon for Christmas I would give him a ride around the block in it."

A Little Bit of Humor...

2005-12-06T09:50:00.000-05:00

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, every single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen - had to be a female. We should've known. Only women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

People often think of The Twelve Days of Christmas as the days preceding the festival

2005-12-06T09:44:00.000-05:00

People often think of The Twelve Days of Christmas as the days preceding the festival. Actually, Christmas is a season of the Christian Year that last for days beginning December 25 and lasting until January 6 - the Day of Epiphany when the church celebrates the revelation of Christ as the light of the world and recalls the journey of the Magi.

From 1558 until 1829 people in England were not allowed to practice their faith openly. During this era someone wrote 'The Twelve Days of Christmas' as a kind of secret catechism that could be sung in public without risk of persecution. The song has two levels of interpretation: "the surface meaning plus a hidden meaning known only to members of the church." Each element in the carol is a code word for a religious reality.

The partridge in a pear tree is Jesus Christ.

The two turtledoves are the Old and New Testaments.

Three French hens stand for faith, hope and love.

The four calling birds are the four Gospels.

The five gold rings recall the torah (Law) the first five books of the Old Testament.

The six geese a-laying stand for the six days of creation.

Seven swans a-swimming represent the sevenfold gifts of the Spirit.

The eight maids a-milking are the eight beatitudes.12

Nine ladies dancing are the nine fruits of the spirit (Gal.5).

The ten lords a-leaping are the Ten Commandments.

Eleven pipers piping stand for the eleven faithful disciples.

Twelve drummers drumming symbolize the 12 points of belief in the Apostles Creed.

There you have it, the HIDDEN meaning of "The Twelve Days of Christmas" and the secret behind the song.

I THINK SANTA CLAUS IS A WOMAN

2005-12-04T11:51:00.000-05:00

I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she. Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off!

For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. It's as if they are all frozen in some kind of Ebenezerian Time Warp until 3 p.m. on Dec. 24th, when they -- with amazing calm -- call other errant men and plan for a last-minute shopping spree.

Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves. (You might think this would send them into a fit of panic and guilt, but my husband tells me it's an enormous relief because it lessens the 11th hour decision-making burden.) On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman. Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the bag.

Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen's rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist.

Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he'd still have transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions. Add to this the fact that there would be unavoidable delays in the chimney, where the Bob Vila-like Santa would stop to inspect and repoint bricks in the flue. He would also need to check for carbon monoxide fumes in every gas fireplace, and get under every Christmas tree that is crooked to straighten it to a perfectly upright 90-degree angle.

Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man:

Men can't pack a bag.

Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.

Men would feel their masculinity is threatened...having to be seen with all those elves.

Men don't answer their mail.

Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described even in jest as anything remotely resembling a "bowlful of jelly."

Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them.
Having to do the Ho Ho Ho thing would seriously inhibit their ability to pick up women.

Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.
I can buy the fact that other mythical holiday characters are men...

Father Time shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous. Definite guy.

Cupid flies around carrying weapons.

Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to point fingers.

Any one of these individuals could pass the testosterone screening test. But not St. Nick. Not a chance. As long as we have each other, good will, peace on earth, faith and Nat King Cole's version of "The Christmas Song," it probably makes little difference what gender Santa is.

I just wish she'd quit dressing like a guy!!!

---Author Unknown

A Christmas Story

2005-12-04T11:49:00.000-05:00

'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pi**ed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!

I've busted my a** for da** near a year,
Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?
The old lady bi***es cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those a**holes from the IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes--if that ain't da** funny
Who the he** ever sent Santa Claus any money?

And the kids these days--they all are the pits
They want the impossible--Those mean little sh**s
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them,
They want computers and robots...they think - I'm IBM!

Flying through the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat a** and draw unemployment.

There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season!

Author Unknown

A four-year-old boy who was asked to return thanks before Christmas dinner.....

2005-12-04T11:47:00.000-05:00

A four-year-old boy who was asked to return thanks before Christmas dinner. The family members bowed their heads in expectation. He began his prayer, thanking God for all his friends, naming them one by one. Then he thanked God for Mommy, Daddy, brother, sister, Grandma, Grandpa, and all his aunts and uncles. Then he began to thank God for the food.

He gave thanks for the turkey, the dressing, the fruit salad, the cranberry sauce, the pies, the cakes, even the Cool Whip. Then he paused, and everyone waited ... and waited. After a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother and asked, "If I thank God for the broccoli, won't he know that I'm lying?"

Pregnancy Questions & Answers:

2005-12-04T11:44:00.000-05:00

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

A Little Sunday Humor: Kids Say some really funny things

2005-12-04T11:39:00.000-05:00

This comes from a Catholic elementary school. Kids were asked questions about the Old and New Testaments. They have not been retouched or corrected (i.e., incorrect spelling has been left in).

In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.

Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears.

Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.

The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.

Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.

Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.

The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments.

The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.

Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.

David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.

Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.

When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found Jesus in the manager.

Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.

Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you. He also explained, "a man doth not live by sweat alone."

It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.

The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibels. The epistles were the wives of the apostles.

One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.

St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.

Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.

More and more parents are coming under fire for their child's actions

2005-12-03T12:10:00.000-05:00

Good Home Habits Taught Early On Have Long-Term Benefits

(ARA) - Rarely does a day go by when negative behavior or violence among today's youth isn't covered in the country's national news reports. More and more parents are coming under fire for their child's actions, although they are equally concerned and confused. What steps can be taken to turn this trend around - to keep semblance in the home and order in the schools? Susan Turben, Ph.D., a nationally recognized Parent Educator and Child Development Specialist, offers several suggestions to parents in raising today's youth.

"Early on, parents need to communicate who's in charge of the household, and that can be done many ways," said Turben. "One such way is to assign responsibilities to children and treat those activities as having real value. Stay away from the word 'chores' - which can give the impression that the activity lacks real work."

"One of the key benefits of establishing responsibility is that children learn very early on that parents and family members want them to help, which happens to be one of the most positive reinforcements they can have at a young age. And by helping, children also learn to cooperate with siblings and other family members - essentially leading to a strong sense of partnership and trust," continued Turben. "This sense of trust also allows for better communication."

If children are taught and entrusted to work with useful and special equipment, such as vacuums or other household appliances, and can complete each task successfully, then the child's confidence is nurtured. This is called multi-sensory learning - or in simple terms - children feel competent to use their motor functions, intellect and social skills, all at the same time.

"Good habits require a lot of training, yet most of children's habits, values and beliefs tend to stem from those of their parents," commented Turben. "Children incorporate these habits by imitating and repeating what their parents do, including the tools and equipment they use. In fact, objects that toddlers see their parents using regularly, often become their chosen play toys."

Understanding the needs of families today have become key elements of consideration in the design and development of new products at many top manufacturers. For example, the overall importance of having lightweight, easy-to-use household tools have become paramount for many families.

"Family time today is more limited than ever before," commented Rick Farone, Dirt Devil's Vice President of Product Development. "And while cleaning is a necessity in every home, people do not want to spend a lot of time on housework. That's why Dirt Devil is so focused on developing upright vacuums and specialty home care products that are powerful, yet easy enough for anyone in the home to use, even children."

"By popular demand from parents and child care providers alike, Dirt Devil also offers toy-sized working replicas of our most popular products. This way kids of all ages can work side-by-side with Mom or Dad and learn to 'help out' with the housework, while also acquiring valuable skills associated with role-playing and responsibility," continued Farone.

In addition, children also develop a sense of value by being given various responsibilities. For example, if a child helps with the vacuuming of carpets and dusting of furniture, he or she will assign a greater value to those items. This generally applies to specific play areas when they're young and transcends to other practical applications around the home or yard as they become young adults.

Tips To Remember In Assigning Responsibilities To Kids

So where does a parent begin, and how should they go about the process of assigning responsibility to their children?

- Make a list, assign tasks and stick to it. Remember that assigning housework establishes a sense of teamwork and participation, especially when the outcome is to go out and have fun afterwards.

- Develop a weekly schedule. For children and parents of all ages, scheduling is imperative so that each person has an active role and a sense of ownership in running the household. A comprehensive schedule is also a great time-saver for working parents.

- Let children help. Even if it is a simple activity, such as making a leafy salad or loading plastic dishes into the dishwasher, encourage children and even toddlers to participate. By doing so, children get a better sense that they are being constructive and helping.

- Remember that there is more than one way to complete a specific task. Observe a measure of flexibility and let children be creative as they work, especially if they offer suggestions.

- Think in terms of "two" sets of devices or tools. Small children benefit from using a like-version (smaller or toy version, if available) of regularly used household devices, tools or appliances, such as a vacuum cleaner, lawn mower or ironing board.

- Work side-by-side. A good work ethic can be easily learned at an early age. Besides, it's a great opportunity to spend time together and get some work done!

- Let children imitate. Allow and encourage children to share in the same experiences and activities with which you may be engaged, even if it's as simple as using the phone or brushing your hair. After all, imitation is an important element in the development process. Parents should see this as a form of flattery - their children want to be just like them!

- Spend more time in or around the home. If children learn to play and work in the home at an early age, they will value "home" as a haven later in life as well.

- Reward a job well done. Remember to acknowledge their good work as a valuable contribution. Catch children being "good," and praise and encourage them often.

"There are many variables to consider when raising children today," concluded Turben. "But with all things considered, a regular routine - assigning household responsibilities and offering encouragement - is a great way for parents to establish consistent family guidelines for work time and play time. This will lead to healthier, happier households."

Courtesy of ARA Content, www.aracontent.com, e-mail: info@aracontent.com

Baby Boomers Cut Kids' Allowances

2005-12-03T12:08:00.000-05:00

America's booming economy may be good for adults' wallets, but not for kids' piggy banks. According to a recent survey by IHateFinancialPlanning.com, only 43 percent of American adults give their kids an allowance. Surprisingly, 60 percent of those same adults report receiving an allowance as a kid!

Conducted by NFO Research, Inc., the IHateFinancialPlanning.com survey of 1,013 adults, ages 18 - 64, also revealed that 63 percent of kids who do receive a weekly allowance get $5 or more and 36.8 percent receive $2 or less. More than 72 percent of American adults expect their kids to do household chores regardless of whether they receive an allowance or not; 27 percent give an allowance for extra chores, such as mowing the grass or shoveling the driveway and steps.

Household Money Saving Hints & Ways to Save Money

2005-12-03T12:06:00.000-05:00

1. Going out to dinner once a month instead of twice can save at least $500 a year. You know you've been eating out too much lately when your child says "Mom, why is the oven door hot?"

2. Instead of buying expensive bottled water, use a water filtration system such as one from Brita or Pur. It turns your free tap water into the same pure water you're buying at the store. Evian spring water, by comparison, costs $21.19 a gallon. And you thought gasoline is expensive! I'm saving $250 a year.

3.Break the McDonald's / Pizza-Hut / Taco-Bell / Kentucky-Fried Chicken habit. My family was spending over $40 a week, which was over $2,000 a year.

4.If you have a $3.00 a day Starbuck's habit like I did, cut it down to 4 days a week. Save $500 a year.

5.When shopping for the sack lunch or the kid's lunches, those individually packed snacks and drinks look so convenient. Buy juice in bulk and use a thermos. Buy fruit and cheese in bulk, and use your Tupperware. Snack-size chips cost twice as much as filling a plastic bag from a big bag of chips. You get the idea. Save hundreds of dollars a year.

6.Every night, put all the change and dollar bills from your pocket or purse into a change jar (do they still make piggy banks?). Save maybe $1,000 a year.

From 6 Months Old To 106 Years Old -

2005-12-03T12:03:00.000-05:00

(ARA) - Almost 80 percent of preschool-aged children never have an eye exam. And many vision screenings in school don't test for common eye diseases. What can you do to help protect your family's eyesight? A regular eye exam -- is a great way to start!
"Many parents think their children's eye exam needs are being covered during school eye checks," said Dr. Michael Cohen, vice president, Professional Services, Sears Optical. "When in fact, those are simply screenings, mainly checking to see if the child can read a chart. That's why it's important to have a doctor of optometry check your child's eyes for other problems, including childhood diseases."

Prevent Blindness America recommends that children have a professional eye exam at six months of age, before entering school (age four or five) and periodically throughout the school years. Certain eye diseases are linked to heredity and should lead to more frequent exams for the family.

"There are certainly ways to determine if your child is having difficulty with their vision," said Dr. Cohen. "For example, they may rub their eyes excessively, shut one eye, hold objects close to their eyes, squint, have red or watery eyes or complain of headaches, dizziness or double vision."

But mom and dad shouldn't be left behind in all this talk about kids - they should have a regular eye exam at least every 18-24 months. According to Dr. Cohen, "Any changes in vision, including, among other things, trouble adjusting to dark rooms, difficulty focusing, difficulty driving at night, double vision, excess tearing, dry eyes or seeing spots, should be reported to your eye doctor."

If you are having trouble seeing or suspect your child might be having trouble seeing, visit www.searsoptical.com or www.preventblindness.org for more information.

Courtesy of ARA, e-mail: info@aracontent.com

EDITOR'S NOTE: For more information contact Schuyler Kidd, 216-348-8520x206, skidd@liggett.com.

Cole National Corporation (NYSE:CNJ) is a one-billion-dollar, Cleveland, Ohio-based company, founded in 1946 by Joseph E. Cole. Cole National is the parent company of Cole Vision, the world's largest optical retailer and the largest chain provider of managed vision care in the United States, with 3,300 locations in the U.S., Canada, Puerto Rico, Virgin Islands and Western Europe. They operate retail establishments under the names Sears Optical, Pearle Vision, BJ's Wholesale Club Optical and Target Optical. Cole National Corporation is also the parent company of Things Remembered, the only nationwide chain devoted to "Life's Special Moments" through personalized gifts.

Amber Alert Canceled for 3 Year Old Kentucky Girl

2005-12-03T12:02:00.000-05:00

The Danville Kentucky Police Department and the Kentucky State Police canceled the AMBER Alert after the girl was found safe. No further information is available at this time.

If your child is being bullied - 20 top tips for parents

2005-12-02T15:16:00.000-05:00

Keith is now in the fourth grade and he dislikes school. For a fourth
grader, this does not sound right. The reason Keith dislikes school though
does not have anything to do with academics. Keith is being bullied before
school, at school, and on the school bus. Who can blame him for not wanting
to go into that environment?

The basic definition of bullying is when someone keeps doing or saying
things to have power over another person. Bullying involves crossing into
one's space without permission.

Isn't bullying just something that happens to all children and we're just
making a fuss over this? The children will get over it, right? Shouldn't we
tell Keith to grow up and handle it? Wrong. Bullying happens to far too many
children and adults shouldn't be ignoring it.

WHAT CAN A PARENT DO?

If Keith is being bullied and he is not reporting it to his parents then
there are some very important questions to address.
· Why wouldn't he tell his parents?
· What message have Keith's parents sent to him about bullies?
· Does Keith's parents have a history of dismissing what he says?
· Possibly Keith's parents have had a habit of getting too involved in
solving his problems.

Tips for parents:
· Encourage your child to report any bullying incidents to you.
· Validate your child's feelings. It is normal for your child to feel
hurt, sad, and angry.
· Ask your child how he/she has tried to stop the bullying. Asking
questions is a wonderful way to have your child do the thinking.
· Ask how is he/she going to solve this. We want the child to do the
thinking before we jump in. See how many options he can come up with.
· Coach your child in alternatives. Ideally the best solution is having your
child solve this without anyone interfering. Most of the time unfortunately,
this isn't possible. Share these strategies: avoidance is often an excellent
strategy, playing in a different place, play a different game, stay near a
supervisor, look for new friends, join social activities outside of school.
· Talk with your child's teacher. Make sure they are aware of what is
going on.
· Encourage your child to seek help from other school personnel.
· Volunteer to help supervise activities at school.
· Do not ignore your child's reports. Ignoring them sends the wrong
message.
· Do not confront the bully or the bullies' family.
· Teach your child how to defend him or herself.
· Teach self-respect.
· Give numerous positive comments to your child.
· Avoid labeling or name-calling.
· Let your child know it is okay to express their anger. There are
positive and negative ways to express anger, we want to teach and model the
positive ways.
· Let your children stand up to you now and then. It makes it more
likely they will stand up to a bully.
· Stress the importance of body language.
· Teach your child to use 'I' statements.
· Teach positive self-talk.
· Teach how to use humor, 'out crazy' them. For example, if the bully
says to Keith, "Hey, boy you're ugly." Keith can respond in a couple
different ways:
"Thanks for sharing"
"Yes, I know, I always have been"
"Yes, today's lunch was disgusting" then walk away.

Dream Doers' Success Secrets for Young Adults

2005-12-02T15:11:00.000-05:00

Dreams abound in the imaginations of young adults. These dreams of athletic grandeur, Hollywood fame and heroic pursuits are more than fantasies to the hopeful young; they are possibilities. But as the dreamers grow, the negative influences of junior and senior high stifle their dreams and in essence impair the level of success they achieve. They are taught to discard their dreams as foolish and seek practical, ordinary jobs so they can live practical, ordinary lives.

What they are not taught is that dreamers have a duty to fulfill their dreams. They are not taught that they are creatures of infinite potential. They are not taught that if they have the ability to dream a dream, they have the ability to realize that dream. They are not taught that dreamers can be doers and that Dream Doers are unstoppable.

A Dream Doer believes he can do anything he dreams. Then he does it. The secrets to the success of this simple process are faith, courage and action.

First, a Dream Doer believes in himself and in his dreams. Dreams that do not defy the laws of God, of man or of nature should be nurtured, encouraged and fed. This leads to self-confidence. Self-confidence leads to faith, the belief that something not yet seen has already come to pass. As the confidence and faith of a young Dream Doer soars, he finds a way to manifest his dreams.

The second secret of a Dream Doer is courage. Everyone has hopes. Everyone has dreams. Everyone has desires. Hoping for things is easy. Dreaming about places to go is easy. Desiring great success in life is easy. Telling people about them? That's hard. It's hard to tell people because they might not believe. They might laugh. They might even ridicule. A Dream Doer, however, is brave. He believes he can do anything he dreams and therefore has the courage to put it into words no matter what anyone else says, does or believes.

Finally, a Dream Doer takes action. Action is the most important part of the equation and separates ordinary people from extraordinary ones. Dreams are the starting point, but action makes things happen. So a Dream Doer sets a big goal and then does something small toward that goal every single day. He may not succeed all at once, but little by little, he turns his dreams into memories.

Dream Doers imagine success and achieve it. Be a Dream Doer.

Bonnie Jean Schaefer is the author of The Dream Doers and the Summer of Secrets, a young adult mystery e-novel featuring a pair of best friends who believe they can do anything they dream. This book is sold exclusively on the web in serialized fashion and offers free membership to The Dream Doers Club, a growing community of success-oriented young adults. By subscribing to the story, your young Dream Doer will receive the 20-chapter book chapter by chapter through email each week over the course of 15 weeks. To learn more about this book which helps kids ages 8 and up discover the power of possibilities hidden in their dreams, visit http://thedreamdoers.com now.

Although nothing anybody says can ever completely prepare a woman for the day she delivers her first baby.....

2005-12-01T13:43:00.000-05:00

Although nothing anybody says can ever completely prepare a woman for the day she delivers her first baby, there are some simple suggestions that should help make this amazing experience a little bit easier.

First of all there are three very honest realities about childbirth that your doctor, mother, grandmother, and maybe even your best friend will probably not tell you.

1 - Unless you have an exceptionally carefree attitude about life in general, you will be shocked if and when your water breaks.

2 - Unless you have an extraordinary ability to see into the future, you will be scared to death during the first hour or so of labor.

3 - Unless you have an extremely high tolerance for pain, you will feel excruciating, seemingly unending waves of pain.

These simple facts come from personal experience and are not intended to instill unnecessary fear. Each woman's experience is different, so not all details will apply to everyone. But if you take the time to consider options to prepare yourself for that big day, you may benefit by being as ready as anyone can possibly be for the consequences of childbirth.

Believe this much for sure, you will appreciate almost any helpful hints you can remember when you realize you're going into labor. Most pregnant people will find the following recommendations valuable for reducing stress for you and your labor partner on the day you deliver your first baby.

1 - Pack your bag to take to the hospital at least a month in advance. Nobody can positively predict your exact due date and your baby is actually the person who decides when your delivery will occur.

2 - Make a checklist for what you want to take. You should definitely include: a mirror and your makeup bag (believe it or not when you're not staring at that little miracle in your arms, you will want to look at yourself especially when the parade of visitors start marching into your hospital room); two or three nightgowns (preferably comfortable ones that provide optimal coverage of your post-pregnancy physique); a hair brush and hair dryer (every hospital has showers, soap, and towels); an outfit to wear home from the hospital (and don't choose cute little pre-pregnancy clothes because nobody loses the weight they gained in nine months immediately after giving birth and it will only annoy you if you can't fit into the only outfit you have to go home in)

3 - Have a list of phone numbers of the people you can call anytime of the day or night for help. (Don't even try to handle it alone - YOU WILL NEED AND WANT HELP when this exciting, emotional event begins to occur.)

There's several signs that labor has started. Warning signals vary from woman to woman. Some people know what it is the second it hits them, while others may not recognize what's happening for hours. Don't expect the promises or predictions made by medical professionals or even experienced great-grandmothers to actually come true for you.

In most cases some combination of destiny and mother nature determine the details of your long-awaited delivery. Some simple indicators that you're going into labor range from a mild backache to piercing stabs of pain and vary from a feeling of general discomfort to an abrupt release of water.

Follow your instincts. If you don't feel right, but you're not screaming in pain, call your doctor. If something suddenly takes your breath away, makes you feel faint, breaks you down to the floor or wakes you in the middle of the night, forget the doctor, stay as calm as possible and call for whomever can come to help you the fastest.

If your water does break in the stereotypical way, gushing uncontrollably all over the place, don't freak out. Maintain your control as much as humanly possible at this point and realize you cannot stop this rushing release running like a river out of your body. You can keep putting towels between your legs to try to soak it up, but your shorts or sweatpants are still going to get wet.

Don't worry about what other people will think about your dripping drawers when you get to the hospital. You're about to deliver a baby - you're not supposed to look calm, classy, elegant or graceful! Just concentrate on getting to the hospital safely. You may feel like you're in the middle of an earthquake that will surely destroy the entire planet and assume everyone else will realize the urgency of this occasion. But they probably won't react with any alarm because the reality is your world is the only place that has been hit by this tidal wave of emotional trauma.

What to expect when you get to the hospital...

To wait and wait some more; to fill out forms; to find yourself pacing the halls until they assign you to a room; to see other women in similar situations; to be told your doctor has been delayed; to scream at your labor partner when he forgets what to say and what not to say to try to make you feel better; to forget something on your checklist and to deal with the labor pain getting worse before it gets better.

What not to expect when you arrive at the hospital...

Everyone to accommodate you; everything to occur as you planned; any immediate results; everyone to be organized; your labor partner to be perfect; to find friendly faces among the other pregnant people; to hear your doctor tell you to start pushing your little miracle out as soon as he examines you; to get painkillers prescribed in mere minutes; and to be able to remember all the things you learned to try to prepare for this day.

Other Do's and Don'ts:

Do try to maintain your focus. Do try to preserve your precious energy (You will need it especially if you happen to be one of those poor souls whose pregnancy just won't end and your labor lasts for longer than a day or two) Don't hesitate to tell your doctor or nurses exactly how you feel. Don't hesitate to ask any question that pops into your head. Do listen to what your doctor and nurses tell you. Do listen to what your body is saying. Do listen to what you're feeling in your heart. Do listen to what your labor partner is commanding you to do. Don't forget how long you waited for this day to arrive and how special this date will be to you forever. Don't forget how much you want this little baby to arrive healthy and what a blessing this tiny person will always be to you.

And finally trust your gut instincts, your doctor's words of wisdom, your partner's suggestions to soothe you and your ears when you hear the sound of your baby's first cry announcing his official arrival into this world. The rest of this incredible experience will probably proceed with no major problems, following the same intense, phenomenal pattern of the billions of births that occurred before the day of your delivery.

Believe it or not, no matter how much the pains of labor torture your pregnant body or how many hours the process takes before your first baby actually bounces into this world - you will forget about how much your killer contractions hurt and how time seemed to standstill as your labor lasted and lasted and lasted...

Also believe your life will never be the same from this day on. Your new job as a mommy will be the most rewarding, most exhausting, and most challenging career of your life. Nothing in the universe can begin to compete with the passion, love, and wonder you'll experience as you watch this tiny person grow and you feel like he's really your own heart and soul with little arms and legs.

Treasure every moment of the miracle of motherhood.

Resource Box - © Danielle Hollister (2004) is the Publisher of BellaOnline Quotations Zine - A free newsletter for quote lovers featuring more than 10,000 quotations in dozens of categories like - love, friendship, children, inspiration, success, wisdom, family, life, and many more.

Twelve Tips To Connect With Teachers At Conference Time

2005-12-01T13:41:00.000-05:00

It’s that time again! Parent-teacher conferences are coming. Are you nervous? Excited? Confused? It takes teamwork to raise kids. Teachers are part of the team, but sometimes it feels like you’re on opposite sides of the fence. Connecting with teachers can help bring out the best in your kids. Here are twelve tips to make conference time a productive, team building experience.

1. Talk with your child before conferences. Ask: “What’s the best thing and worst thing about school for you right now?” “What would be most helpful for me to know before meeting your teacher?” “How are you feeling about school, and what are you needing?” Listen more than you talk to draw out their thoughts.

2. Identify feelings and needs. Look at the situation with empathy for everyone’s needs, (your child’s, the teacher’s, and your own.) This puts you in a better position to engage cooperation from all parties.

3. Be on time and end on time. You may want to linger to bask in the glory of your child’s accomplishments, or stay to find resolution to additional issues. Rather than creating tension for the teacher and waiting parents, set up a follow-up phone call or meeting.

4. Solve problems by focusing on solutions. If you’re dealing with an ongoing problem, follow these steps: a. Listen to the teachers concerns. b. Talk about your concerns. c. Together, come up with a list of ideas that would help to solve the problem. d. Agree on a plan of action. e. Set a specific date to evaluate progress or adjust the plan. If possible, include your child in the problem solving session. Kids enjoy following through on plans they help put in place.

5. Make specific requests, such as, “Would you be willing to move Ella’s seat to the front row, so she can see the board more clearly?” It’s easier for a teacher to be helpful, when you are specific about your child’s needs. If your request is declined, discuss what other ways your child’s needs can be met. The best solutions aren’t always the first ones we come up with.

6. Communicate with respect to gain respect. Suppose you are angry over a teacher’s actions. If you begin accusing, forcing, and condemning, you may or may not bully the teacher into complying, but you’ve lost either way. Be assertive, not aggressive. Instead of attacking the teacher, attack the problem. A mom shared this story with me. She said, “Ben’s teacher made comments in front of the class, about his forgetfulness, including calling him ‘the absentminded professor.’ Ben was embarrassed and felt worse about himself and his ability to remember things every time she did it. At conferences I described the problem without attacking the teacher. I was relieved to see how eager his teacher was to be helpful. She even thanked me for bringing it to her attention. A few days later, Ben thanked me, saying things had gotten a lot better at school since conferences.”

7. Take notes. Conferences can be frantic, especially in the higher grades when you meet with multiple teachers. It can be hard to keep it all straight. Jot down teacher contact information, and any suggestions.

8. Check your self esteem at the door. I waited in line to talk with my son’s high school math teacher who said, “You son is a stellar student. That’s all I have to say.” I floated away from his table on a cloud. Next, I met the science teacher. She said, “Your son is disorganized, constantly late for class and behind in his project.” I went from floating to sinking. I had to remind myself, “This isn’t about me. It’s about being helpful to my child.” Keep your self-esteem high by not linking it to your child’s performance.

9. Don’t spiral down the tunnel of negativity. You’ll suck the teacher down with you and your child will suffer. When you sit down at conferences, resist the urge to purge your complaints about your kid’s poor manners and messy bedroom. Give the teacher insights into your child’s passions or interests. What you focus on grows. While you need to be aware of negative behaviors, your energy is best spent focusing on what your child is doing right. Inspire faith, possibility, and the potential for growth. Improvement is a process. It doesn’t happen all at once. Instead of expecting perfection, point your child in a positive direction, by focusing on what’s going right. Encourage your child’s teacher to do the same.

10. Teachers are people. When my youngest was in first grade, he used to think his teachers lived at the school. He thought their bedrooms were in the teacher’s lounge. Sometimes parents also forget that teachers are real people, with their own personalities, temperaments and styles. Rather than criticizing one teacher for being less spontaneous or more reserved, than another, consider the value your child gains from learning to interact with each teacher’s unique qualities. Look for the best in what a teacher has to offer, and you’ll find it.

11. End the meeting by summing up what was said. Include any specific action steps you’ve agreed upon, and confirm any follow up that may be needed. Clarity relieves confusion.

12. Give appreciation. Teaching is a challenging job. After conferences write a letter or email specifically describing what you appreciate about the teacher. Your positive feedback is energizing and sets the tone for a more positive educational experience for your kids.

Marilyn Suttle presents parenting and work/life communication keynotes and workshops for corporations and associations. To receive her FREE e-newsletter: Life in Balance: Thriving Kids/Thriving Parents, visit: www.SuttleOnline.NET, or reach her directly at 1-248-348-1023

Legacy to Your Children

2005-11-30T09:25:00.000-05:00

John Bishop’s Goal Setting for Students.com

Legacy to Your Children

It's 6:30 at night and you just got home from a long day at work, but the day's not over yet. First, there’s dinner, then homework and don't forget the chores. And, you have to finish a proposal for an important meeting tomorrow morning. Add a little stress from the monthly bills and the possibility of your company being downsized and you have pressures of the far too many US families.

In addition, your children live in a rapid paced, MTV world where they are bombarded with media messages that define success as “bigger, better, faster,” and “you can have it now – and not have to work hard to get it.” All too often the messages they see are that you can lose weight with a pill, flatten your stomach muscles in only five minutes a day, or learn how to play soccer from a 20-minute video. Your children are growing up in the world of instant gratification, and shortly, they will be entering the school of hard knocks.

What can you do? You want the best for your children and you want to give them the tools they need to succeed in school and in life. The problem is time. The solution is giving your children the tools they need to invest in their future. Those tools consist of three things:

1. Clear and positive character development traits

2. A thorough understanding how to set and achieve goals

3. A strong desire to take more ownership of their education

These tools will help your children define what is important in life, how to minimize excuse, how to take more responsibility, and how to take action on their dreams. Your children will learn that success takes time, planning and a strong desire, and action. Success takes commitment. Success is helping others.

Toni Morrison, the fist African-American women to receive the Nobel Prize for Literature (1993) has stated “Long before I was a success, my parents made me feel like I could be one.” With these life tools your children will learn to believe in their abilities to be successful. They will grow up to be healthy, productive, caring adults with a good self - image and a positive outlook toward their future.

Your legacy to your children – positive character traits, goal setting techniques, and educational ownership – are the tools they need to succeed. With them your children will answer a resounding “yes” when asked, “Are you giving your best effort to today’s activities?”

For your FREE subscription to John Bishop’s “Teaching Moments” visit the website.

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John Bishop is the Executive Director of Accent On Success® an organization dedicated to giving parents, teachers, and other caregivers the tools they need to help children succeed in school and in life. He is the author of Goal Setting for Students®. http://www.GoalSettingForStudents.com

Your kids arrive home with their school reports and it's poor marks from the math department. Now what do you do?

2005-11-30T09:20:00.000-05:00

Uh oh.

Your kids arrive home with their school reports and it's poor marks from the math department. Now what do you do?

You may not be a math teacher, but thankfully there are ways you can help your kids improve their grades.

Studies have shown that children are much more likely to perform well in a subject that interests them.

So here are 5 ways to get your kids excited about math and actually looking forward to the next math class:

1. Inspire them.

Some kids don't enjoy math because they just can't see the point of it. Unlike reading or painting, all those mathematical symbols and numbers don't seem to mean anything.

What you need to do is show them how important math is in the real world.

Tell them stories about the great engineering feats throughout history. From building the great pyramids of Egypt, to the Hoover dam, to the latest space missions to Mars, nothing would have been achieved without mathematics, and mathematicians.

2. Get practical.

Involve your kids in some real world math away from the classroom. Find something your child is interested in and relate it to math in some way.

For example, do they like baseball? Terrific. During a game, ask them how many points the losing team has to score to beat the other one. And how many games do they need to win before they have enough points to win the league?

If they enjoy helping around the home then let them do the "clever stuff". Ask them to work out the sizes for that wood you're going to cut. Or get them to measure out the ingredients for the cake you're about to bake.

When you're in a store, ask your kids to add up the prices and keep a running total while you shop. Then ask them how much change you should expect at the checkout.

3. Take life "step-by-step".

Success in math - as in life - is largely about breaking large projects down into manageable, bite-sized pieces.

Many kids feel overwhelmed when they see a list of math questions, and it's at this point they may decide that math is "boring" or "hard".

Show them the magic of taking one question at a time, and breaking it into tiny steps that make it easy.

4. Encourage creativity.

Kids may become mentally "stuck" on a topic because they're only looking at it in one way. Perhaps they need to step outside the box and see it from a different angle.

Show them the beauty of alternative viewpoints. Help them to see situations from other people's perspective.

Get them into the habit of exploring different ways of solving a problem. Even something simple like tidying up a room can have several possible "solutions" or ways of approaching it.

Crosswords and lateral thinking puzzles are good for this kind of flexible thinking.

5. Be positive.

Eliminate negative statements like "math is hard" (even if you thought of yourself as a math dunce at school!).

Explain how everyone has a natural ability to do math and that solving math problems isn't so different from solving other kinds of problems in life.

Above all, inspire confidence in your kids. Teach them persistence and how there's always a solution to every problem.

We all perform better when we enjoy what we do, and getting kids interested in math is the real key to success.

They may not turn into mathematical geniuses, but they'll thank you in later life when they enter the world of work and start counting their salaries.

Now who said your kids couldn't do math?

'Fun With Figures' shows anyone of any ability the easy way to do mental math. Visit the site today and find out what you didn't learn in the math class. Click here ===> http://FunWithFigures.com

TEN STEPS TO FUN AND SAFE PLAY *

2005-11-30T09:19:00.000-05:00

1. When shopping for toys, keep in mind the child's age, interests and abilities.

2. Read toy or packaging labels for age ranges and safety warnings.

3. Be especially careful when choosing toys for children under three. Select toys that are free of small pieces (or pieces that separate or can be broken off), are lightweight, have no sharp edges or points and are non-toxic.

4. At home, read instructions for assembly and use. Keep product literature in case of future questions and complete warranty cards.

5. Remove and discard all packaging from a toy before giving it to a baby or small child.

6. Consider the home environment in which a child will play with a toy and younger children who may be there. A toy intended for an older child may be dangerous in the hands of a younger one.

7. Always provide toys in conjunction with sensible supervision. Supervise children when they play and set good examples of safe play.

8. Remind caregivers, including grandparents, of play-related safety concerns

9. Do not leave toys on stairs. Choose a safe storage place for toys. ( Anything large enough for a child to climb inside should have a cover that's easily removed).

10. Check toys at least every three months to determine their safety. Make any repairs immediately or throw away damaged toys.

Here is an easy, inexpensive and fun kid experiment for your next kid birthday party.

2005-11-28T07:59:00.000-05:00

This activity, which is strictly speaking a kid science experiment, can be used in any party as entertainment. Even better: have a "Mad Chemist" theme and use this idea as one of the kid experiments.

Fill a plate or saucer with milk and put in a few drops of food coloring on top of the milk in different spots. The smaller the drops the better.

Use a spoon to pour a small amount of dishwashing liquid into the milk. Pouring it into the center works best.

Now watch the colors dance and explode.

This might sound very simple to you, but I've done this a few times with kids aged 6 - 10 and was amazed at how much pleasure this gave them! Let them each do their own - provide different colors and encourage them to try out different things. You will be amazed at the beautiful patterns they manage to create. Allow them to repeat the process a few times. They'll get the hang of it after one or two tries. If the kids are too small to do it themselves, you can do it as a demonstration. Or, why not just let them bring old clothes with, put down lots of old newspapers and allow them to make a big mess. They will love you for it!

Explanation: Water has a "skin" called surface tension. This is a force on the surface of water which pulls it inwards. Soap or dishwashing liquid breaks down the surface tension and stops the skin from forming. This stops water sticking together in drops and so it flows more easily into all the places where dirt collects.

Anne-Marie Killer is a mother of two teenagers and a toddler. She is the webmaster and owner of Perfect Party Ideas

Top 25 Children Quotations

2005-11-24T00:58:00.000-05:00

"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
-- Franklin P. Adams

"A child reminds us that playtime is an essential part of our daily routine."
-- Anonymous

"Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own."
-- Aristotle

"Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them."
--James Baldwin

"The best inheritance a person can give to his children is a few minutes of his time each day "
--O. A. Battista

"Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home."
-- Bill Cosby

"There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, employ someone, or forbid your children to do it."
-- Monta Crane

"The children despise their parents until the age of 40, when they suddenly become just like them - thus preserving the system."
-- Quentin Crewe

"Your children will see what you're all about by what you live rather than what you say."
-- Wayne Dyer

"The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives."
-- Albert Einstein

"We find delight in the beauty and happiness of children that makes the heart too big for the body."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Teach your child to hold his tongue; he'll learn fast enough to speak."
-- Benjamin Franklin

"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother."
-- Theodore M. Hesburgh

"I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation Where they will not be judged by the color of their skin But by the content of their character."
-- Martin Luther King, Jr.

"The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy."
-- Sam Levenson

"Children need love, especially when they don't deserve it."
-- Harold Hulbert

"If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do matters."
-- Jacqueline Lee Bouvier Kennedy Onassis

"Children are living jewels dropped unsustained from heaven."
-- Robert Pollok

"Good parents give their children Roots and Wings. Roots to know where home is, wings to fly away and exercise what's been taught them."
-- Jonas Salk

"While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about."
-- Angela Schwindt

"I think that maybe if women and children were in charge we would get somewhere."
--James Thurber

"Child rearing myth #1: Labor ends when the baby is born."
-- Unknown

"Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said."
--Unknown

"Children are the sum of what mothers contribute to their lives. "
--Unknown

"When you put faith, hope and love together, you can raise positive kids in a negative world."
-- Zig Ziglar

Resource Box - © Danielle Hollister (2004) is the Publisher of BellaOnline Quotations Zine
- A free newsletter for quote lovers featuring more than 10,000 quotations in dozens of categories like - love, friendship, children, inspiration, success, wisdom, family, life, and many more.

A recent University study found that the average father in America spends less than sixty seconds per day in conversations with his children

2005-11-24T00:22:00.000-05:00

Dads, please let me encourage you to change some things in your life. A recent University study found that the average father in America spends less than sixty seconds per day in conversations with his children!

The actual number was 47 seconds per day.

How in the world does that happen? Certainly we fathers love our children and want the best for them. So what does this study tell us about the focus of our investment in the lives of our children? Are we too focused on our work? Are we too focused on our paychecks?

What's with us men? Have we as fathers come to think that our kids really just need our money? I sure hope not.

Our children need us to look them in the eyes and talk with them. We need to actually be involved in the lives of our children and teens. We need to actively raise them, teach them, and shape their character and morals and values. We need to do these things on purpose, with a plan, with a focus. Parenting is a "hands on" activity.

So, spend time with your kids. Be available for your kids. Make your kids a major priority in your life. Protect your family. Be involved in your family.

Look at your personal definition of "success." My definition has become, "The progressive realization of moral, virtuous, or Godly goals."

Obviously this definition has little to do with how much money I earn, or how much status I attain in my profession. It has little to do with my children becoming sports stars or validictorians (although they are both). Success has to do with character, relationships, and spiritual growth.

So fathers, please take the time to teach your children. Be role models for your teens. And spend more than 47 seconds each day in conversation with your children.

Douglas Cowan, Psy.D., is a family therapist who has been working with ADHD children and their families since 1986. He is the clinical director of the ADHD Information Library's family of seven web sites, including http://www.newideas.net, helping over 350,000 parents and teachers learn more about ADHD each year. Dr. Cowan also serves on the Medical Advisory Board of VAXA International of Tampa, FL., is President of the Board of Directors for KAXL 88.3 FM in central California, and is President of NewIdeas.net Incorporated.

Did you know that you are the most important person in your child’s life? Of course you did.

2005-11-24T00:02:00.000-05:00

Did you know that you are the most important person in your child’s life? Of course you did.

But did you know that parents of children with learning disabilities can also be their child’s most effective advocate.

What exactly is an advocate? An advocate is someone who speaks up for someone else, or who acts on behalf of another person. As a parent, you know your child better than anyone else, and you are in the best position to speak for him and act on his behalf.

Here are 10 ways you can do that:

1. Realize from the beginning that advocating for your child takes a lot of time. Advocating involves a great deal of research, meeting time, and communication. That’s a given. But the end result will be a successful,responsible, happy young adult who will be able to survive the pitfalls of the real world.

2. Be informed. The more you know about what is going on with your child, the more comfortable you will be in helping others understand him. Here are some ways you can become informed:
a. Read all you can about learning disabilities (especially your child’s learning disability).
b. Attend conferences. That’s a great way to learn and make contact with other people faced with similar issues.
c. Ask questions - seek answers.
d. Join a support group if there is one available. You can learn a lot from a support group.

3. Become familiar with the rules and regulations that apply to your child’s special education program. You request copies of the regulations from your local school district office (the special education office, if your district has one) or from your state Department of Education. If you have difficulty understanding these rules and regulations, don’t be afraid to ask the special education director or your child’s special education teacher to explain them to you.

4. Work together closely with the professionals who work with your child. This should be done in a positive, cohesive way in order for the child to gain the maximum benefit. Get to know these people - talk with them on a regular basis. Volunteer in the classroom. Don’t be afraid to ask for a meeting with the teacher(s) if you see something going on at home that can be helped at school, or vice versa.

5. Keep track of the paperwork that is given to you at the team meetings. This is valuable information that should be kept in an organized place so that you can refer to it easily. If you aren’t sure how to do this, talk with the special education director or special education teacher. They have a system to keep the records organized in the office. Perhaps they would share that with you.

6. Don’t be afraid to communicate with the professionals. Be prepared when you go to the team meetings, and don’t be afraid to calmly and assertively state your views. Take notes into the meeting with you so you won’t forget the questions you want to ask or the points you want to make. Remember, the professionals need insight from you as much as you need insight from them. The more communication you have, the more powerful the educational team to help your child.

7. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. The field of special education is as complex as your child’s needs. Asking questions doesn’t mean that you are stupid. It just means that you are interested in your child’s education and well- being and want to be an informed parent. You will most likely hear the professionals asking lots of questions as well!!!

8. Keep the lines of communication open with your child. Talk with him about his life both in and outside school. Allow him to express his frustrations, his successes, his disappointments, his hopes, his likes and his dislikes. The better you know your child and what is going on with him, the better you can help other people to work with him.

9. Know your child’s strengths and weaknesses and share them with the professionals. Children with learning disabilities, although they have weaker areas, have many strong areas, too. By highlighting these areas, it makes it easier for the professionals to use them as tools to strengthen the weaker skills. It helps them see the child in a more positive light, and it helps them relate to the child. And it helps your child’s self-esteem to know that the teachers sees good things in him.

10. Help your child learn to advocate for himself as early as possible. As time goes on, and your child has heard you advocate for him, he will be able to understand how to advocate for himself. If he’s heard you say positive things, not only does it increase his self-esteem but it gives him the confidence to speak up for what he needs. Teach him how to communicate how he learns best, what he needs to help him get the most from his classes, and how he feels when confronted with certain issues, such as testing and peer pressure. Give him the power to make his life a success.

You can help your child be able to be a successful, happy, responsible student, well on his way to being the same kind of adult. Advocate for him.

For more plain talk about learning disabilities, please visit us at www.ldperspectives.com.

About the Author
Sandy Gauvin is a retired educator who has seen learning disabilities from many perspectives - as the parent of a daughter with learning disabilities, as the teacher of children with learning disabilities, and as an advocate for others who have diagnosed and unrecognized learning disabilities. Sandy shares her wisdom and her resources at www.LDPerspectives.com

Top 50 Father Quotations

2005-11-23T02:47:00.000-05:00

"The greatest gift I ever had Came from God, and I call him Dad! "
-- Anonymous

"Our earth is degenerate in these latter days; bribery and corruption are common; children no longer obey their parents; and the end of the world is evidently approaching."
-- Assyrian clay tablet 2800 B.C.

"The joys of parents are secret, and so are their griefs and fears."
-- Francis Bacon, Sr.

"A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. "
-- Enid Bagnold

"We never know the love of our parents for us till we have become parents."
-- Henry Ward Beecher

"I have always looked at life as a voyage, mostly wonderful, sometimes frightening. In my family and friends I have discovered treasure more valuable than gold."
-- Jimmy Buffet

"The father who does not teach his son his duties is equally guilty with the son who neglects them. "
-- Confucius

"Fatherhood is pretending the present you love the most is soap-on-a-rope."
-- Bill Cosby

"You know, fathers just have a way of putting everything together. "
-- Erika Cosby

"Be kind to thy father, for when thou were young, who loved thee so fondly as he? He caught the first accents that fell from thy tongue, and joined in thy innocent glee. "
-- Margaret Courtney

"Role modeling is the most basic responsibility of parents. Parents are handing life's scripts to their children, scripts that in all likelihood will be acted out for the rest of the children's lives."
-- Stephen R. Covey

"What a dreadful thing it must be to have a dull father. "
-- Mary Mapes Dodge

"To her the name of father was another name for love. "
-- Fanny Fern

"Parents can tell but never teach, unless they practice what they preach."
-- Arnold Glasow

"When Charles first saw our child Mary, he said all the proper things for a new father. He looked upon the poor little red thing and blurted, 'She's more beautiful than the Brooklyn Bridge. "
-- Helen Hayes

"To be a successful father...there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years. "
-- Ernest Hemingway

"The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other."
-- Burton Hillis

"I am not caused by my history--my parents, my childhood and development. These are mirrors in which I may catch glimpses of my image."
-- James Hillman

"There are fathers who do not love their children; there is no grandfather who does not adore his grandson. "
-- Victor Hugo

"You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was."
-- Irish Proverb

"Any woodsman can tell you that in a broken and sundered nest, one can hardly find more than a precious few whole eggs. So it is with the family."
-- Thomas Jefferson

"My dear father; my dear friend; the best and wisest man I ever knew, who taught me many lessons and showed me many things as we went together along the country by-ways."
-- Sarah Orne Jewett

"When a father gives to his son, both laugh; when a son gives to his father, both cry. "
-- Jewish Proverb

"The longer we live the more we think and the higher the value we put on friendship and tenderness towards parents and friends."
-- Samuel Johnson

"He was all questions. But small boys expect their fathers to be walking lexicons, to do two jobs at once, to give replies as they are working, whether laying stones or building models...digging up a shrub, or planting flower beds...Boys have a right to ask their fathers questions...Fathers are the powers that be, and with their power and might must shelter, guard, and hold and teach and love...All men with sons must learn to do these things...Too soon, too soon, a small son grows and leaves his father's side to test his manhood's wings. "
--Roy Z. Kemp

"My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," my dad would reply, "we're raising boys."--Harmon Killebrew

"Up to a point a man's life is shaped by environment, heredity, and movements and changes in the world about him. Then there comes a time when it lies within his grasp to shape the clay of his life into the sort of thing he wishes to be. Only the weak blame parents, their race, their times, lack of good fortune, or the quirks of fate. Everyone has it within his power to say, "This I am today; that I will be tomorrow."
-- Louis L'Amour

"A man knows he is growing old because he begins to look like his father."
-- Gabriel Garcia Marquez

"The love of a father is one of nature's greatest masterpieces."

"The merry family gatherings-- The old, the very young The strangely lovely way they Harmonize in carols sung. For Christmas is tradition time-- Traditions that recall The precious memories down the years, The sameness of them all."
-- Helen Lowrie Marshall

"The thing to remember about fathers is, they're men. A girl has to keep it in mind: They are dragon--seekers, bent on improbable rescues. Scratch any father, you find someone chock--full of qualms and romantic terrors, believing change is a threat - like your first shoes with heels on, like your first bicycle I it took such months to get. "
-- Phyllis Mcginley

"Everybody today seems to be in such a terrible rush; anxious for greater developments and greater wishes and so on; so that children have very little time for their parents; Parents have very little time for each other; and the home begins the disruption of the peace of the world."
-- Mother Teresa

"It is much easier to become a father than to be one."
-- Kent Nerburn (Letters to My Son: Reflections on Becoming a Man)

"As the family goes, so goes the nation and so goes the whole world in which we live."
-- Pope John Paul II

"He who is taught to live upon little owes more to his father's wisdom than he who has a great deal left him does to his father's care. "
-- William Penn

"The fundamental defect with fathers is that they want their children to be a credit to them. "
-- Bertrand Russell

"Good parents give their children Roots and Wings. Roots to know where home is, wings to fly away and exercise what's been taught them."
-- Jonas Salk

"Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible--the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family."
-- Virginia Satir

"I've been very blessed. My parents always told me I could be anything I wanted. When you grow up in a household like that, you learn to believe in yourself."
-- Rick Schroeder

"It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was. "
-- Anne Sexton

"It is a wise father that knows his own child."
-- William Shakespeare

"My father must have had some elementary education for he could read and write and keep accounts inaccurately "
-- George Bernard Shaw

"It is admirable for a man to take his son fishing, but there is a special place in heaven for the father who takes his daughter shopping."
-- John Sinor

"The family--that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape nor, in our inmost hearts, ever quite wish to."
-- Dodie Smith

"All the feeling which my father could not put into words was in his hand--any dog, child or horse would recognize the kindness of it."
-- Freya Stark

"It's clear that most American children suffer too much mother and too little father."
-- Gloria Steinem

"Children learn to smile from their parents."
-- Shinichi Suzuki

"Cultivate your own capabilities, your own style. Appreciate the members of your family for who they are, even though their outlook or style may be miles different from yours. Rabbits don't fly. Eagles don't swim. Ducks look funny trying to climb. Squirrels don't have feathers. Stop comparing. There's plenty of room in the forest."
-- Chuck Swindoll

"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years. "
-- Mark Twain

Resource Box - © Danielle Hollister (2004) is the Publisher of BellaOnline Quotations Zine - A free newsletter for quote lovers featuring more than 10,000 quotations in dozens of categories like - love, friendship, children, inspiration, success, wisdom, family, life, and many more

15 New Year's and Holiday Resolutions For Parents

2005-11-23T01:04:00.000-05:00

Have you made your usual New Year resolutions? You know the resolutions where you turn over a new leaf to get fit, steer away from junk food and start a savings plan. While you are reflecting on past bad habits and setting new directions for your personal life consider taking stock of your parenting as well.

A word of warning -- you will probably feel a little inadequate as you look back on some of your past practices. If you are like most parents you nag your kids too much, over-react when they mess up and you probably regret not spending enough time with them. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Not only is parenting the world’s hardest job but children aren’t born with owner’s manuals so we tend to rely on trial and error a great deal.

As you ponder the next twelve months of parenthood here are 15 New Year’s resolutions to consider. Avoid trying to adopt every idea. Be realistic and choose one or two to add to your list of New Year’s resolutions.

1. Be consistent with your discipline. This is a big ask as dealing with kids’ misbehaviour tests the patience and resolve of the even the most assured parents. Set consistent limits and boundaries, even for adolescents, and be willing to negotiate and give a little ground. When children refuse to cooperate or break the rules, act calmly and reasonably rather than resort to severe measures to ‘teach them a lesson’.

2. Avoid nagging, yelling and constantly reminding children to cooperate. Sometimes it is better to keep quiet than nag or remind children to do their chores, behave or just be reasonable human beings. It is no coincidence that parents who nag frequently complain of ‘deaf’ children. There is usually nothing wrong with children’s hearing. They simply listen to what they want to hear.

3. Focus on children’s positive behaviours. If you find yourself continually pointing out your children’s misbehaviour and getting nowhere then try to ignore the inappropriate as much as possible. Get into the habit of ‘catching kids being good’. Like adults, children respond to favourable comments and are likely to adopt behaviours that gain them attention.

4. Encourage children persistently. It has been estimated that children hear 17 negative comments at home for every piece of praise or encouragement. Exposure to continuous criticism and negative comments can have disastrous effects on children’s self esteem. If you are not an encouraging person then linking your positive comments to something you normally do such as saying good night to your children. Then you will know that you have encouraged them at least once each day. That’s a good start.

5. Spend more time together as a family. In an era of working parents and busy children finding time for everyone to be home together is increasingly difficult. Be specific with this goal or it will end up on the scrap heap of broken resolutions. Aim to have at least one shared mealtime each week or spend one weekend a month devoted purely to family purposes.

6. Give yourself a regular break. Don’t be a slave to your family. Taking time out to do something just for yourself is a necessity rather than a luxury. Revise your household routine, solicit the help of your partner or relatives, or employ a baby-sitter to provide you with some time-off.

7. Plan some time to be with your partner. Whether it is a romantic weekend away or just meeting for coffee together once a week make sure you have an opportunity to spend time with your partner - and don’t talk about the kids.

8. Make guilt work for you. Let’s face it, parents can find plenty of issues to feel guilty about. Leaving children in child-care, long hours spent at work, and even discipline measures are common sources of guilt. Avoid easing your guilt by being too lenient, spoiling or indulging children with toys or other material possessions. Guilt can be beneficial though; if it reminds you to take time off work to attend a child’s school play children or prompts you to hire some domestic help to create more family time.

9. Make a plan to survive those difficult times. Only television families are free of manic times of the day. Mealtime mayhem, morning madness and bedtime battles are common in many families. Identify your difficult time of the day and get super organised and be willing to make yourself scarce if children make unnecessary demands on you at these times.

10. Stay out of children’s fights. Brawling siblings disturb the peace so it is difficult for parents not to become involved. Chances are you either plead for peace and quiet, make a ruling to end the dispute, or take sides to lay blame on the child who caused the infraction. If you are tired of interfering in children’s battles then leave it up to them to resolve. When your children begin to bicker beat it to another part of the house or boot them outside until they have finished.

11. Control that television set. If the television is continually on in your house then it is time to establish some tight limits for viewing. Ten hours per week is a reasonable guideline for children of most ages. Have a television-free night and let children sample other forms of entertainment.

12. Check your children’s computer usage. Computers are rapidly replacing the television as the electronic baby-sitter in many families. To be fair, computers have more educational potential than the television but children predominantly use them for games, unless they receive assistance and direction from parents. Pull up a chair and join in rather than leave children to their own devices whenever they hit a computer.

13. Avoid giving into temper tantrums. Do you give in when your toddler throws himself on his back in the supermarket and thrashes about like a crab? Do you throw your hands up in despair if your teenager stomps off to her bedroom slamming the door behind her when she doesn’t get her own way? Tantrums are a potent form of emotional blackmail designed to coerce parents to give in to children’s demands. Next time your child throws a major wobbly remove yourself and refuse to give in to such tactics.

14. Avoid the ‘good’ parent syndrome. Good parents protect children from many of life’s difficulties and rob them of opportunities to develop independence and responsibility. They take forgotten lunches to school, pay fines for their children’s overdue library books and believe that chores are for parents rather than children. If this sounds familiar let children take more responsibility for their own actions in the coming year.

15. Keep misbehaviour in perspective. You probably think at times that your children or teenagers are the world’s worst or that no one else acts up like them. Think again. If your child misbehaves the chances are that he or she is no trailblazer. Many others mess up too. That is little comfort, however, if you have to put up with difficult kids day in and day out. Regardless of how hard things become try to focus on their positive behaviours and work hard to maintain your relationship even if it appears that the effort is all one way. Your persistence will pay off in the long run.

For more great ideas from Michael Grose to help you raise confident kids and resilient young people subscribe to Happy Kids, his fortnightly email newsletter. Just visit www.parentingideas.com.au and subscribe. Receive a free report on Seven ways to beat sibling rivalry in your email box when you subscribe

---

Michael Grose © www.parentingideas.com.au

Top 20 Items To Pack In A Diaper Bag

2005-11-23T00:36:00.000-05:00

1. Diapers (5 -7 is a fairly safe supply)

2. Wipes

3. Cream (like Desitin, A&D ointment, Vaseline)

4. Baby Powder

5. At least one bottle of juice or milk

6. A few jars of baby food

7. At least one clean outfit

8. A few bibs

9. A few cloth diapers to clean up spit and other spills

10. Items to entertain your baby (rattles, books, toys)

11. Baby thermometer

12. Teething rings

13. Biter biscuits or similar type of crackers

14. Medicine for fevers, colds, related symptoms

15. Any prescription medications

16. Measuring device for medications

17. Baby Nail Clippers

18. Phone number of Baby's Physician

19. Any stuffed animals or favorite blankets your baby needs to fall asleep

20. Any parenting books you refer to frequently to find answers to unexpected questions

Resource Box - © Danielle Hollister (2004) is the Publisher of BellaOnline Quotations Zine - A free newsletter for quote lovers featuring more than 10,000 quotations in dozens of categories like - love, friendship, children, inspiration, success, wisdom, family, life, and many more.

Once your little boy/girl goes off to school, you may find that your "special talks" occur less frequently...

2005-11-23T00:32:00.000-05:00

Once your little boy/girl goes off to school, you may find that your "special talks" occur less frequently... You may become disheartened by the mere fact that your child now has new friends to share his daily stories with...

To prevent yourself from losing your mind and losing touch with your child when he/she goes to school full-time, try the following five exercises in communication.

1) Make it a point to ask your child about his/her day as soon as you see him/her after school. (Do not accept a "nothing" response - rephrase your question as many times as needed to get a "real" response: for example: What did you learn today? or What was the best part of your day today?)

2) Make it a priority to ask your child what they brought home in their backpack each day. (Do not pry too much but do make it your business to know what they have in their backpack every day...)

3) Get involved with your child's homework. Even if they're only in kindergarten or first grade, their teacher probably will send some type of homework home at least once a week, keep an eye out for this and then be an active participant in the completion of any homework.

4) Become a volunteer at your child's school. Almost every school, whether public or private, needs help - parent volunteers in many areas. Donate your time, your expertise, your knowledge, your love and compassion for children....

5) If you cannot volunteer your time and get to know your child's classmates, give something of yourself in some other way that will keep you involved in your child's life. Any type of effort/interaction on your part with their teacher will bring satisfaction and reward to you and your child.

The bottom line is simple. Just because your child is now in school seven or eight hours a day - does not mean he/she does not STILL need you and/or that you cannot continue to be an active part of their daily life.

Resource Box - © Danielle Hollister (2004) is the Publisher of BellaOnline Quotations Zine - A free newsletter for quote lovers featuring more than 10,000 quotations in dozens of categories like - love, friendship, children, inspiration, success, wisdom, family, life, and many more.

You can break free from power struggles and turn turbulence into positive growth opportunities

2005-11-23T00:13:00.000-05:00

You want your daughter to wear a dress to the party. She wants to wear jeans. You want your toddler to take his medicine. He does everything he can to keep that yucky stuff out of his mouth. The more you insist, the more they resist. You can break free from power struggles and turn turbulence into positive growth opportunities by putting a few helpful tips in place:

* Step back and view the big picture. How do you respond when your kids challenge your authority? If you view your kids as "willful," or "bad," consider this: it is developmentally appropriate for kids to test their boundaries. As children grow they have a natural desire to make their own decisions and do things for themselves. They want to separate from their parents and function under their own power. Instead of viewing this as threatening, view it as a necessary part of growing up.

By taking on a big picture view, your emotions won’t overpower your judgement when dealing with power hungry kids. When you exert your will through force and intimidation, one of two negative side effects occurs: either your children give in and lose motivation to make decisions for themselves, or they rebel, fighting back against you. When children push for power, remind yourself that a positive response from you can set a course for cooperation and empowerment.

* Break negative patterns. Power struggles follow a pattern like the steps of a dance. They do "this," you do "that." Change the pattern and you change the course of your relationship. Anne has a pattern of engaging Mom in power struggles over her curfew. Anne tells mom, "I’m staying out late." Mom says, "No you aren’t." Anne protests. Mom yells. Anne glares. Mom punishes. Anne seeks revenge with rebellious behavior. It’s always the same pattern. Once Mom recognized the pattern, she made a conscious decision to change it. The next time Anne said she wanted to stay out late, Mom had a new response. She said, "You really want to stay out late tonight don’t you dear?" Anne started to protest out of habit, then looked at Mom in shock. "Yes," Anne said, "I want to stay at Kims house until 11 p.m.." Mom listened to Anne’s feelings assuring her that when she got older, she could stay out later.

* Allow kids to make some choices. Lots of parents report success at sidestepping the initial power struggle. Then, they slip back into yelling out orders which sets the pattern back in motion. This can be avoided by giving kids choices that allow both your needs to be met. Judy doesn’t want to wash her sticky fingers. Instead of fighting with her, Dad gives Judy a choice, "Do you want to wash with bar soap or liquid soap?" Judy picks liquid soap.

Kids want power. When you give them choices within reasonable limits, it’s much easier for them to cooperate. The key to making choices work is to only give choices you are willing to accept. Give "real" choices not manipulative ones, such as this: "You can choose to eat your tuna fish sandwich or choose to lose television for the day." That’s not an empowering choice. When you allow children some sense of power in their life, even if it’s something small, like what color cup they drink from, what bedtime story they hear, or whether they want to do homework before or after dinner, their esteem grows as they enjoy some control over their lives.

* Empower your kids. When you cannot seem to break free from a power struggle, ask yourself, "How can I empower my child in this situation?" Jane argued with Michael about eating junk food. Every time her back was turned, he devoured everything. Jane decided to give Michael power by telling him, "Michael, I bought one box of girl scout cookies. I will not be buying more snacks until next week. You are in charge of how you want to eat your snacks. You can eat them quickly or make them last throughout the week." Michael counted the cookies in the box and made a remarkably sensible plan for snacking. No more power struggle.

* Do the unexpected. Using humor helps to side step power struggles. Breaking out into a foreign accent or cartoon character voice can lighten the mood. When things are getting tense, wave your hand in the air and say, "Lets erase this whole conversation and start over again." Walk out of the room and come back in, starting over on a calmer note. This can be enough to set things back on track.

* Focus on solutions. Power struggles create a win-lose attitude. No one truly wins unless you both win. Teach kids the importance of listening to and considering each person’s point of view. Show them how to look for solutions that work for all. You can say to your child, "Lets see if we can come up with some ideas that take both our needs into consideration."

* Disagreements and disrespect are two different things. Do you believe your children should never say "no" to you? Instead of viewing "no" as a sign of disrespect, view it as a disagreement. We encourage our kids to say "no" to drugs and peer pressure. While teaching kids to stand up for themselves, we must realize there will be times they will stand up for themselves with us. The key is to teach kids to show respect during disagreements. When Andy said, "You can’t make me eat those peas. Get them off my plate," it didn’t go over well with Dad. He sidestepped the power struggle by saying, "Andy, it’s easier for me to be helpful to you if you say something like, ‘Dad, I would rather not eat peas with dinner.’" Every time you take a respectful approach with your children you model peaceful ways of dealing with disagreements.

Marilyn Suttle presents parenting and work/life communication keynotes and workshops for corporations and associations. To receive her FREE e-newsletter: Life in Balance: Thriving Kids/Thriving Parents, visit: www.SuttleOnline.NET, or reach her directly at 1-248-348-1023.

Top 50 Mom Quotations

2005-11-22T04:44:00.000-05:00

"All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother."
-- Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

"I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life."
-- Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

"A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path."
-- Agatha Christie

"You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother."
-- Albert Einstein

"By and large, mothers and housewives are the only workers who do not have regular time off. They are the great vacationless class."
-- Anne Morrow Lindbergh

"Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own."
-- Aristotle

"Mother is far too clever to understand anything she does not like."
-- Arnold Bennett

"A mother is she who can take the place of all others but
whose place no one else can take."
-- Cardinal Mermillod

"A mother is not a person to lean on but a person to make leaning unnecessary."
-- Dorothy Canfield Fisher

"I really learned it all from mothers."
-- Dr. Benjamin Spock

"If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylum would be filled with mothers."
-- Edgar Watson Howe

"My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her."
-- George Washington (1732-1799)

"The mother's heart is the child's schoolroom."
-- Henry Ward Beecher

"What the mother sings to the cradle goes all the way down to the coffin."
-- Henry Ward Beecher

"The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness."
-- Honore' de Balzac

"Education commences at the mother's knee, and every word spoken within hearsay of little children tends toward the formation of character."
-- Hosea Ballou

"Whatever else is unsure in this stinking dunghill of a world a mother's love is not."
-- James Joyce

"The best academy, a mother's knee."
-- James Russell Lowell

"The phrase "working mother" is redundant."
-- Jane Sellman

"God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers."
-- Jewish proverb

"Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president, but they don't want them to become politicians in the process."
-- John Fitzgerald Kennedy

"A boy's best friend is his mother."
-- Joseph Stefano

"Most of all the other beautiful things in life come by twos and threes by dozens and hundreds. Plenty of roses, stars, sunsets, rainbows, brothers, and sisters, aunts and cousins, but only one mother in the whole world."
-- Kate Douglas Wiggin

"Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother."
-- Lin Yutang

"My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it."
-- Mark Twain

"Motherhood is like Albania-- you can't trust the descriptions in the books, you have to go there."
-- Marni Jackson

"We are not born all at once, but by bits. The body first, and the spirit later; and the birth and growth of the spirit, in those who are attentive to their own inner life, are slow and exceedingly painful. Our mothers are racked with the pains of our physical birth; we ourselves suffer the longer pains of our spiritual growth."
-- Mary Antin

"To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power."
-- Maya Angelou

"Over the years I have learned that motherhood is much like an austere religious order, the joining of which obligates one to relinquish all claims to personal possessions."
-- Nancy Stahl

"Youth fades, love droops, the leaves of friendship fall; a mother's secret hope outlives them all."
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes (1775-1817)

"All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his."
-- Oscar Wilde

"When I was a child, my mother said to me, 'If you become a soldier, you'll be a general. If you become a monk you'll end up as the pope.' Instead I became a painter and wound up as Picasso."
-- Pablo Picasso

"A mother's hardest to forgive. Life is the fruit she longs to hand you, Ripe on a plate. And while you live, Relentlessly she understands you."
-- Phyllis McGinley

"Men are what their mothers made them."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"A mother is a mother still, The holiest thing alive."
-- Samuel Taylor Coleridge

"People who exercise their embryonic freedom day after day, little by little, expand that freedom. People who do not will find that it withers until they are literally 'being lived.' They are acting out scripts written by parents, associates, and society."
-- Stephen R. Covey

"Never say anything on the phone that you wouldn't want your mother to hear at your trial."
-- Sydney Biddle Barrows

"The commonest fallacy among women is that simply having children makes one a mother—which is as absurd as believing that having a piano makes one a musician."
-- Sydney J. Harris

"An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest."
-- Spanish proverb

"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother."
-- Theodore Hesburgh

"A woman has two smiles that an angel might envy, the smile that accepts a lover before words are uttered, and the smile that lights on the first born babe, and assures it of a mother's love."
-- Thomas C. Haliburton

"Grown don't mean nothing to a mother. A child is a child. They get bigger, older, but grown. In my heart it don't mean a thing."
-- Toni Morrison

"Children are the sum of what mothers contribute to their lives."
-- Unknown

"A mother's arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them."
-- Victor Hugo

"A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us when adversity takes the place of prosperity when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine, desert us when troubles thicken around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts."
--Washington Irving

"The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother."
-- W. C. Fields

"A man never sees all that his mother has been to him until it's too late to let her know that he sees it."
-- W. D. Howells

"Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children."
--William Makepeace Thackeray

"The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world."
-- William Ross Wallace

Resource Box - © Danielle Hollister (2004) is the Publisher of BellaOnline Quotations Zine - A free newsletter for quote lovers featuring more than 10,000 quotations in dozens of categories like - love, friendship, children, inspiration, success, wisdom, family, life, and many more

Do you have a wild child? Then this article may be for you

2005-11-22T03:48:00.000-05:00

Do you have a wild child? Then this article may be for you. Do you just blow up when you can't take it any more? Then this article is definitely for you.

Abuse victims, when they become parents, are handicapped in two ways. One, they have no clue how to give good discipline because they never saw it done. A parent who knows how does not resort to abuse. Or, I should say, a parent who knows how deep in his/her bones, not just intellectually, does not need to resort to abuse. So if you were beaten, humiliated, yelled at, ignored, neglected, abandoned, criticized, or any of the hundred other ways of being abused, you never saw good discipline in action. So you just don't know what it looks like.

Now, suppose you take a parenting course. Here's handicap #2. Even when you learn--intellectually--what it is, many parents who have been abused have a gut-level abhorence of anything that remotely looks like violence. Any form of discipline that is perfectly "kosher" may look to an abuse victim like something harsh, mean, and hateful. And those parents just can't seem to put it into action. That's when the leniency paves the way for the very abuse they don't ever want to be guity of doing: Because they have failed to discipline their child, the child, of course, gets out of hand, eventually. That's what normal children do, if unstopped. So then, these sweet, lovely parents who couldn't bring themselves to discipline their child lash out at them angrily. And they actually feel justified! "I've had enough!" They exclaim.

Well, that's true, but whose fault is that? You've had enough because you didn't nip it in the bud with proper discipline. Now you criticize or yell or hit or whatever and actually think that the child is "bad." Hey, that's exactly the mistake your parents might have made. So if this sounds like you, don't confuse proper discipline with abuse. Start the discipline and then you won't have to blow up.

For example, I once worked with a family in which the mother felt so guilty about a remarriage and so abhorent of abuse because of the abuse she had received that she also never would discipline that child. Until one day she discovered that, at 14, her daughter was sneaking out the window at night to go party. Then, as you can imagine, she lost it.

Ten Helpful Little Tips For New Parents

2005-11-22T03:30:00.000-05:00

The Greatest Gifts in Life, which are always created for free, but never come with instructional guide, are your children. The following suggestions may help any new parents feeling blessed by the birth of their first baby, but also feeling overwhelmed by this wondrous experience.

1 - You cannot love, hug, kiss, cuddle, or hold your newborn too much. He needs your affection to feel safe in a world that's all new to him.

2 - This tiny person is totally dependent on you for everything in his life. He cannot survive without you.

3 - Establish a routine. Your baby needs to be able to count on certain activities occurring around the same time each day. Feeding, naps, fun and affection should be a part of every
schedule.

4 - Sleepless nights may seem never-ending as your newborn awakens you with his cries. But time will fly by and your baby won't be a baby for long. Treasure each moment of this experience.

5 - Nobody can teach you how to be a parent. You will learn on the job. Trust your instincts. Nobody knows your baby better than you.

6 - Being a parent will be the most challenging and most rewarding experience of your life. Cherish every day with your child.

7 - A child is not a possession or a toy or someone to take for granted. A baby is a blessing.

8 - Respect your child's father or mother whether you're still married to them or not. Your baby will remember how you treat each other. Children learn by example.

9 - Being a parent is at minimum an 18 year commitment. You can't quit halfway through.

10 - Your life will never be the same. Respect the value of this little miracle and remember he will always be a part of you. Nothing in the world should compete with your commitment to love your child.

Resource Box - © Danielle Hollister (2004) is the Publisher of BellaOnline Quotations Zine - A free newsletter for quote lovers featuring more than 10,000 quotations in dozens of categories like - love, friendship, children, inspiration, success, wisdom, family, life, and many more.

As a parent, how are you defining "success" for your children? How do you define "success" for yourself as a parent?

2005-11-22T02:17:00.000-05:00

As parents, we want our children and teens to grow up and "be successful." But what "being successful" means depends on our definition of "success" in the first place. Obviously "success" means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. Our definition of success has become "The Progressive Realization of Moral, Virtuous, or Godly Goals."

As a parent, how are you defining "success" for your children? How do you define "success" for yourself as a parent?

Each of these questions is important for us to think through. Many of us, kids included, only define success in terms of what we have, or what we have accomplished so far in life. Some define success in terms of how society and culture define it, while others have chosen to define "success" through the eyes of God, as best as they can know it.

As for me, I define "success" as "the progressive realization of moral, virtuous, or Godly goals." As I look at my kids and rate their levels of success, or rate myself as their parent, I want to keep in mind what my kids are becoming, rather than what they have accomplished in the past. As long as I can see my kids on a path toward becoming productive and honorable adults, then I will feel successful as a parent.

Parents, please relax a bit.

I want to encourage each of you to take a long term view in regards to your role as parents. I have received many emails from parents of 4, 5, and 6 year old kids who are having trouble with attention span, or coloring within the lines, or reading, or whatever. Please relax.

Focus on getting your child onto a road that will lead them to be productive as adults. Teach your children how to be good fathers and mothers to their own children in the future. Teach your kids how to love and serve other people. These are the major lessons. See life in the context of eternity, and your definition of success will change radically, both for your children and yourself.

Douglas Cowan, Psy.D., is a family therapist who has been working with ADHD children and their families since 1986. He is the clinical director of the ADHD Information Library's family of seven web sites, including http://www.newideas.net, helping over 350,000 parents and teachers learn more about ADHD each year. Dr. Cowan also serves on the Medical Advisory Board of VAXA International of Tampa, FL., is President of the Board of Directors for KAXL 88.3 FM in central California, and is President of NewIdeas.net Incorporated.

Before my daughter was born my house was so tidy and immaculate that you could eat off the floor

2005-11-22T01:12:00.000-05:00

Before my daughter was born my house was so tidy and immaculate that you could eat off the floor! Dishes were done immediately (no dishwasher here!), the toilet was cleaned every morning and the house was dusted and vacuumed quite frequently. Today? The dishes sit on the counter till the next day when I tip-toe to the kitchen before the baby wakes so I can get it cleaned and put away, the house is vacuumed just when it looks like it needs it and the dust sits even now several inches thick upon all my furniture. Oh, and did I mention the toilets are not cleaned every single day??

It is hard keeping a house clean with a toddler running underfoot. Especially one that doesn't like the Big Bad Vacuum Cleaner and starts to cry at the site of it. Well, she's getting better about it now, but still.. There just doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day to get much done. I find myself sitting down, after the baby has been put down for a nap, and thinking to myself, "I can get the bathroom cleaned, do the dishes, take a nap or read a good book now. Which should I do??" By the time I figure out which one I have the energy to do (or not to do in this case), my daughter wakes up and is ready to go for several more hours! Well, scrap that idea and up I get chasing around after a toddler and playing peek-a-boo. Sometimes, I do choose one of those things and usually it is the nap that I choose to do. So does the house get cleaned? Yah, sometimes. Is it as immaculate as it was before our gem entered our lives? Nope. And you know what? That is just fine!! I treasure each day I have with my daughter and realize that these moments are passing us by so swiftly. It has almost been a year and I can barely remember the day she was born. Everything seems to be going by in such a blur! I truly understand now the phrase "in a blink of an eye"!

There is also a very nice quote that I printed out and put on my fridge that I find quite fitting to how things have changed. I would like to share it with you all: "Cleaning and scrubbing can wait 'til tomorrow for babies grow up, we've learned to our sorrow. So hide away cobwebs, dust go to sleep, I'm rocking my baby 'cause babies don't keep." (author unknown)

Another quote I truly find fitting is this one: "Cleaning house while kids are growing is like shoveling snow while it's still snowing." (author unknown) I did find myself organizing my daughter's toys. Her dolls go in the basket and everything else in her other basket. Nice and neat! Even the dolls are all sitting upright and smiling at you when you look at the basket. Does it stay that way? No siree! As soon as she wakes up, she tackles her baskets and out comes all her toys. Now that she is toddling around I am finding it hard to contain her mess -uhmm toys, that is- in one room! I hate to admit it, but some nights I just shove it all to one corner and leave it be, knowing full well it will get messed up the next day, so what’s the point? The only bad part about not being so careful about picking up all her toys is when you find yourself getting up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and you step on a block. Ouch! So do I organize her toys because of that incident? Uh-uh! I just make sure there is a clear path to the bathroom at all times!! So much for Miss Clean, Neat, and Organized but that's okay! I'd trade that title any day for the title of Mom. Seeing my daughter smile happily each morning when she sees me enter the room lets me know that it's all worth it. Cleaning can wait for another day, week, month or even years. Right now I am going to spend the time I have with my baby girl, the brightest thing in my life thus far.

A SAHM to an almost two year old, this mom along with her husband, have started a venture that they can do from home to supplement their income. Visit EoH Online© for all your hosting needs!

A 5-year-old and a 4-year-old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?", says the 5-year-old, "I think it's about time we start swearing."

2005-11-21T11:06:00.000-05:00

A 5-year-old and a 4-year-old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?", says the 5-year-old, "I think it's about time we start swearing."

The 4-year-old nods his head in approval.

The 5-year-old continues, "When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna say 'H**L,' and you say 'a**', OK?"

The 4-year-old agrees with enthusiasm.

The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 5-year-old what he wants for breakfast

"Awe he** Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."

WHACK! He flies out of his chair, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out.

The Mom looks at the 4-year-old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"

"I don't know," he blubbers, " but you can bet your a** it won't be Cheerios."

Ever notice how a 4-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adult voices?

2005-11-21T11:03:00.000-05:00

Several years ago, I returned home from a trip just when a storm hit, with crashing thunder and severe lightning. As I came into my bedroom about 2a.m., I found my two children in bed with my wife, Karey, apparently scared by the loud storm. I resigned myself to sleep in the guest bedroom that night.

The next day, I talked to the children, and explained that it was OK to sleep with Mom when the storm was bad, but when I was expected home, please don't sleep with Mom that night. They said OK.

After my next trip several weeks later, Karey and the children picked me up in the terminal at the appointed time. Since the plane was late, everyone had come into the terminal to wait for my plane's arrival, along with hundreds of other folks waiting for their arriving passengers.

As I entered the waiting area, my son saw me, and came running shouting, "Hi, Dad! I've got some good news!" As I waved back, I said loudly, "What's the good news?"

"Nobody slept with Mommy while you were away this time!" Alex shouted.

The airport became very quiet, as everyone in the waiting area looked at Alex, then turned to me, and then searched the rest of the area to see if they could figure out exactly who his Mom was.

Ask parents what their biggest school year challenge is, and you’ll hear that it is the difficulty getting their kids to do homework

2005-11-21T10:59:00.000-05:00

Ask parents what their biggest school year challenge is, and you’ll likely hear that it is the difficulty they face in getting their kids to do homework. With so many other attractive ways for kids to spend their time, getting them to buckle down and complete that extra bit of schoolwork can be like pulling teeth. As with any chore, though, there are strategies you can use to get it done and make it more fun.

1. Make Time for Homework
Fitness gurus have known this for years: you are more likely to stick to an exercise regimen if you do it at the same time everyday and make it an inviolable part of your schedule. The same goes for homework. Don’t leave it up in the air as to when homework will be completed. This only ensures that it won’t get completed until you have an extended argument with your child about it—usually one hour after bedtime. Instead, sit down with your child and review your family schedule for the upcoming semester. Decide where homework will fit in your daily schedule and make it non-negotiable. It is always helpful to anchor homework time to some other regular activity. Good choices are: directly after school or right before or after dinner. (Scheduling homework in the hour before bedtime is usually not a good practice since your child may be too sleepy to do a good job.)

It is also important to dedicate a set amount of time for homework. This will discourage students from rushing through homework so that they can watch the latest Disney video. What is a reasonable amount of time to spend on homework? That varies with age. Check with your child’s teacher. It is generally accepted, though, that First and Second graders should spend about a half hour on homework each night while Third and Fourth graders might need to spend as much as an hour per night.

2. Don’t Accept No for an Answer
A common refrain from students is “I finished my homework in school” or “The teacher didn’t assign us any homework today.” It should not matter that they don’t have a specific assignment. Homework is an extension of the learning that occurred that day in school, and what they learned that day can be extended in any number of ways. Students can read silently during their allotted homework time, they can look up information in an encyclopedia to enhance what they are learning in Science or Social Studies, or they can look at flashcards, practice math facts, and test their spelling. This is how to teach your child to be a self-directed learner. You will be giving them a gift to get them in the habit of doing this now. When they are in high school, having this extra study habit will bring them academic success.

3. Establish a Partnership with Teachers
Early in the school year make an effort to get to know your child’s teacher. Make an appointment to talk with the teacher in the first few weeks of school, so that you can express your desire to be a good partner in your child’s education. She will appreciate it, and you will be one step closer to a smooth school year. Find out what her homework policy is so that you know what to expect. It is also helpful to know how high her standards are, so that you can ensure that your child’s homework is acceptable.

4. Provide the Right Environment
Most people’s advice on homework is to set up a desk in your child’s room and make sure that they have a quiet and distraction-free work environment. This sounds very reasonable, but few people seem to be able to follow this advice. I know many students who instead do their homework on the living room floor, at the kitchen counter, or at the dining room table. It seems that some people work best when they aren’t isolated from household activity. If that is the case with your child, then provide a small traveling office for him so that he has all of the necessary items at hand and won’t waste time running around the house looking for a sharp pencil. With all the supplies nearby, and distractions limited to the general background noise of family living, your student ought to be able to concentrate on homework.

5. Set a Good Example
“Do as I say not as I do” is no longer considered appropriate parental advice. In order to instill the proper values in our children, we must model them. If we expect our children to be conscientious, hard-working students, then that is what they must see in us. Make an effort to show your child your work ethic by reading trade magazines and business books while they do their homework. Take out a pencil and write notes as you read. Investigate ideas fully. If you read something interesting in the newspaper, look up information about it on the Internet. Always be eager to learn something new. Sign up for an adult education class, teach yourself to knit, or write that novel you’ve always dreamed of. The more that you can show your child that learning is a lifelong adventure that requires their involvement, the more likely it is that homework will cease being a chore and start being an integral part of a life well-lived.

If you take the time to set up these parameters around homework, you’ll find that you waste less energy arguing over homework and making up for lost assignments. You’ll have more time and energy for other pursuits, and so will your child. What’s more, you’ll discover that the benefits of hassle free homework add up to more than just scheduling efficiency, they equal a better education.

Katie Basson is a parent, teacher, and creator of The BITs Kit Better Behavior Kit for Kids™. Katie teaches seminars on behavior modification techniques, and assists parents through challenging behavioral and educational issues. She serves on the Board of Directors of the YWCA and is an educational advisor to Zoesis, Inc., a children’s software company. Katie’s expert advice has been sought for articles in The Boston Globe and Parents Magazine. Sign up for her biweekly Parenting Solutions newsletter at www.bitskit.com.

Want To Further Your Children's Studies?

2005-11-21T10:58:00.000-05:00

Being in a competitive world, the lowest qualification to secure a good job is a degree. However, a degree subject may be perceived as too general and the acquisition of a specialist skill through professional courses or a post graduate program may help improve employment prospects.

Before you jump into a specific course or program, do take a look at the following considerations:

Studying overseas is better than studying locally? Well, we might not be sure about the education quality but in terms of exposure and character building, studying overseas definitely has its advantages while studying locally is more cost effective.
Be prepared and plan your application. When do you want to start your course? When can you start applying for the course? Apply early to avoid disappointments. There are many different institutions offering similar courses. To increase your chances of getting a place on the most appropriate course for you, do not rely on getting on to one particular course. Sometimes, it is not easy to get the desired course.
Where to get financial support? Family or scholarships? If scholarships, what are the requirements?
Hmmm...looking at the things to consider, we all need some luck for our educational and academic pursuits. Chinese Feng Shui principles denote that those looking to further their studies should place a globe in the Northeast sector of your home or even better, your children's study. The globe will enhance the energy for this sector and thus bringing luck to your educational and academic pursuits. Professors, teachers, writers and those involved in scholarly studies are also highly advised to display a globe on their study tables. Just twirl the globe towards you three times a day before 12am to enhance the luck of each day.

Michele Lum (michele@ideastoenhancehome.com) is the founder and CEO of Ideas To Enhance Home, a site where you can get free tips and ideas on how to enhance your home for better life in health, business, romance, children and security just by placing interesting home decors and setting up simple systems.

Sign up for a FREE subscription to tips and ideas on how to enhance your home by visiting www.IdeasToEnhanceHome.com

It's a way to get whole family involvement, and a little bit of humor to get us over the discipline bumps

2005-11-21T10:56:00.000-05:00

There's a new kind of fun and calm out there in the name of the Better Behavior Wheel, invented by Julie Butler and her family in central British Columbia. In an interesting twist on charts and discipline, this versatile wheel can be hung on a wall or toted with you in the car and on vacations.

It's a way to get whole family involvement, and a little bit of humor to get us over the discipline bumps. Kayla Fay, publisher of Who Put the Ketchup in the Medicine Cabinet? says, "This is the proverbial spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down! Only a loving parent could come up with such an effective way to discipline children."

As the Wheel Turns

Originally, the wheel sprang from constant battles between Julie's 9- and 12-year-old children, David and Laura. With battles raging in their home, Julie and her husband decided they must find some way to keep the peace. Julie says, "We hated the atmosphere of tension that would invariably follow these exchanges. Our once happy home was being turned into a war zone, and it felt like there were land mines scattered beneath our feet. One night, in desperation, we called the kids into the living room and told them how upsetting their behavior was. We asked them for suggestions on how we could restore peace and serenity back into the family."

The kids were sent to their room to come up with at least six appropriate consequences for their next fight. David and Laura presented the family with consequences like:

Clean the other person's room Do dishes for the other person Make the other person's bed for a week Lend your favorite CD or game to the other person for a week Make a list of ten good things about the other person Hug and make up….

These suggestions were arranged around the perimeter of a board, and a spinner attached to the middle. The premise was that the spinner would choose the consequence for them, and they would hang the board in plain view in the kitchen. Julie remembers, "We crossed our fingers, and waited. And waited. It was amazing. Just the presence of the board, hanging on our kitchen wall, had an instant calming effect on the atmosphere in our home. Occasionally we'd see one of the kids standing in front of the board, idly flicking the spinner, checking it out. But the fighting had stopped."

Of course, the battle was won, but not the war. Ten days later, the fighting began again, but this time they were prepared. Says Julie, "We called them both into the kitchen, took the board down off the wall, and placed it on the table. They knew what they had to do. How could they refuse? They chose the consequences. They practically invented the board. It landed on the most dreaded consequence of all: Hug and make up!"

Once the fighting subsided, Julie realized there were other behaviors she also wished to curb. "It seemed like the kids were always leaving the lights on when they left a room. Or they'd leave the TV on when they went to bed. Why not make another wheel with consequences related to wasting electricity?"

Eventually, eight themes were added: Excessive Arguing Leaving the Lights On Not Putting Things Away A Job Poorly Done Stretching the Truth Taking Without Asking Talking Back Wheel of Just Desserts (rewards)

Forty-eight consequences and 16 rewards are printed on peel-and-stick paper with colorful eye-catching graphics, enabling parents to customize the wheel to meet their family's needs. Just cut them out and stick them on. It's very easy to make up your own consequences and themes.

Interestingly, Julie says the wheel lowers her stress, keeps the consequences appropriate, and removes parents from the "Bad Guy" label. In the past, she and her husband would have to repeatedly ask David to do something, only to hear him say, "I know." This would come to a boil, and in anger they would yell and exact a punishment too harsh for the infraction.

Now, the wheel does all the work.

"David, it's 8:15; you haven't started the dishes yet. I'm afraid we'll have to spin the wheel."

"But, Mom!"

"I'm sorry, Dear. It's really not up to me. Those are the rules we all agreed on. Gee, I hope you don't land on a really bad consequence."

Julie says, "The amazing thing is, we're no longer the bad guys. We can actually root for the kids as they drag themselves up to the wheel. It's no longer 'us against them'. It's the wheel that they have to answer to. But the greatest thing of all is that we hardly ever have to use the wheel. It hangs on the kitchen wall, acting as a watchdog and reminder."

What Else?

The Butlers' website, www.better-behavior.com , shows some parents of ADHD children have found the wheel to be a wonderful program. That is great news for many! Every parent should work with their child's personality and decide if the wheel is right for them, keeping in mind that every program doesn't work with every child.

There are a couple of letters on Julie's site from parents asking for help with children who are completely out of control. One mother says her five-year-old "beats (his big sister), kills animals, curses, and destroys everything in his path." Another mother said her six-year-old adopted daughter has angry outbursts and goes in cycles. She wondered what to do when her child refuses the consequences and it starts another battle.

These are warning signs of something more serious than just a discipline problem. Often, young children and teenagers exhibiting these symptoms have a physical problem that can cause behavioral changes, such as infections, Lyme Disease and thyroid problems. Mental disorders such as early-onset bipolar disorder can also cause very similar symptoms and must be diagnosed and treated immediately.

In these cases, the Wheel would not be appropriate and medical intervention is needed immediately. For help, contact your pediatrician and look for information on these diseases and disorders on the Internet.

However, there is still a possibility that the wheel will be valuable with a child who is stabilized. Again, parents will have to make the decision to try the wheel according to each child.

The Last Word

Parents of children with normal behavior and discipline problems are encouraged to try this wheel and have a little fun with discipline! Bringing the whole family into the discipline decision-making is an excellent way to work as a team and come to a peaceful solution. The wheel isn't meant to exact negative punishment on a child, but rather remind them to pick their battles and mind their parents.

Teachers and parents alike will find the wheel very useful in classrooms and homes everywhere with children ages four and up!

Gina Ritter is a personal life coach for parents and publisher of www.naturalfamilyonline.com. She lives in New York with her husband and three boys (who also spin in the kitchen).

The Legend and Charm of The Tooth Fairy

2005-11-21T10:55:00.000-05:00

The legend and myth of the Tooth Fairy is a delightful part of our modern family culture. Kids dream about receiving a special gift or money from this charming, magical fairy. Adults fondly remember the Tooth Fairy as a wonderful childhood fantasy of their youth, and they pass on the mystery and charm to their own young children.

In most households, the Tooth Fairy operates under cover of darkness, coming to visit after a child loses what are commonly called baby teeth. Parents help perpetuate the fantasy by showing their children how to place the lost tooth under their sleeping pillow or in a special holder or pillow made just for the Tooth Fairy. Then, the Tooth Fairy herself visits during the middle of the night, exchanging the tooth for a gift or monetary reward.

The Tooth Fairy is a lovely fantasy, but how exactly did she originate?

FAIRIES, FAIRIES EVERYWHERE

The beginnings of the Tooth Fairy probably began many centuries ago in a culture that encouraged folklore, legend, literature and the arts. Historians believe that this would have been a culture where the concept and myth of fairies was widely accepted -- possibly in Ireland or England.

We do know that the word fairy is derived from the French spelling of faery. In a general sense, the mythical fairy dates back to medieval days and was quite widespread, especially among the Celtic peoples. References about magical fairies -- both good and evil -- can be found in numerous paintings and literature that predates Christianity.

Centuries later, the concept of the fairy became popular during Shakespeare’s day, as he and other writers of that time period gave them prominent roles in their plays, poems and other writings.

A MAGICAL MYTH BEGINS TO EVOLVE

So how did the Tooth Fairy as we know it today begin to take root? There are several theories.

Among the Nordic people, it is widely believed that the Vikings had a “tooth fee,” that was paid to children when they lost a tooth. Once paid for, these teeth were probably strung together to make a necklace or some other type of adornment that the Viking warriors wore into battle.

In Medieval Europe, it was common to bury a child’s tooth in the ground, usually in a garden or a field close to home. Supposedly, the tooth was buried so that a new one would be free to grow in its place, and it discouraged the evil witches from finding the tooth and putting a curse on the child.

When Europeans and others began migrating to the New World in great numbers during the 17th century, they brought their superstitious beliefs with them. But as towns and cities took shape, people found that they sometimes didn’t have a place to bury the teeth. Instead, the lost tooth was often placed in a small planter, perhaps on a window sill or just outside a door.

No one really knows what prompted parents to begin putting the tooth under a child’s pillow or when the practice of leaving a gift became widespread. However, it probably began to be part of our American folklore sometime during the late 19th century.

YOU’VE GOT QUESTIONS, THE TOOTH FAIRY HAS ANSWERS

While everyone seems to know about the Tooth Fairy, not everyone celebrates in exactly the same manner. And, parents often have questions. Following are some common questions concerning this fantasy fairy who visits in the night and leaves presents and money.

Why did a fairy become associated with losing a baby tooth? Many old cultures marked the loss of a child’s baby or milk teeth. Some ancient cultures placed the lost tooth in a tree or threw it to the sun. Other rituals involved having an adult swallow the tooth or burn it.

Why is the Tooth Fairy so popular?

The Tooth Fairy is a whimsical concept that helps both parent and child mark the transition from infancy to childhood. It’s a rite of passage that is not attached to any religion or holiday, which accounts for its widespread celebration.

When does the Tooth Fairy come to visit?

Although it varies, children generally lose their first baby tooth between the ages of 5 and 7 years.

Why is the Tooth Fairy traditionally female?

As a popular culture figure of relatively modern times, the Tooth Fairy is usually depicted as a woman. However, some companies are now offering Tooth Fairy “Prince” style gifts for the boys to enjoy.

What does the Tooth Fairy exchange for the child’s tooth?

A generation ago, the Tooth Fairy brought only a modest gift, perhaps a dime or a quarter. In very recent years, that amount has increased dramatically and children now receive Tooth Fairy gifts ranging from a dollar to five dollars to much more. Sometimes the monetary amount is considerably higher for the first tooth lost. Instead of cash, some parents opt for a gift. But money remains the most popular choice.

Is the Tooth Fairy celebrated around the world?

Throughout English-speaking and many European countries, the Tooth Fairy tradition is widely known and practiced. Although in many cultures, the first lost tooth is the only one recognized by the Tooth Fairy.

THE END OF A MAGICAL CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCE

Alas, a child’s belief in the Tooth Fairy is all too fleeting. By the age of nine or ten, most children have stopped believing in the Tooth Fairy. Many kids, however, continue to play along with their parents because they enjoy the tradition and they like collecting the money! The last baby teeth are usually gone by age 12, and the Tooth Fairy ceases her visits.

What happens to all the teeth collected over the years by the Tooth Fairy?

Some parents tell their children that the teeth become the countless shimmering stars in the sky. Others say that the Tooth Fairy is building a fabulous castle for herself using all of the “donated” teeth. Today, there are numerous books available about the Tooth Fairy that offer their own version of what happens to the countless lost teeth.

In the end, the magic of the Tooth Fairy is perpetuated by parents who make up their own stories and create their own rituals. This only adds to the magical charm that we call the Tooth Fairy.

Nancy Wurtzel is the founder and owner of All About Baby, an ecommerce site located at http://www.allbaby.com.

How to Give Your Child Encyclopedic Knowledge?

2005-11-21T10:53:00.000-05:00

When you talk about multiply your child’s intelligence, you can’t help but to mention about Dr. Glenn Doman. He is the founder of The Institutes for the Achievement of Human Potential and began pioneering the field of child brain development since 1940. He and the institute are famous for their pioneering work with brain-injured children and their work in early development for well children.

Glenn has authored many books and materials that teach parents how to teach their babies at home such as 'How to teach your baby to read', 'How to teach your baby math', 'How to teach your baby to be physically superb'. Of course, his best selling book "How to give your baby encyclopedic knowledge" that I had used to train my children. Guess what? It really works.

"How to give your baby encyclopedic knowledge" - Glenn Doman

Glenn, after 40 years at the Institute, had learned that: "Every child born has, at the instant of birth, a higher potential intelligence than Leonardo Da Vinci ever used". He strongly believes that it is easier to give a one-year-old encyclopedic knowledge than it is to give it to a six-year-old. The book tells you exactly how to give encyclopedic knowledge to a tiny child starting at birth or at any time prior to six years of age. To summarize his method to teach your child to acquire encyclopedic knowledge, here are the steps:

1. Identify the knowledge to teach your child. In an intellectual sense, it is knowledge from science, to art, biology, geography, history, music, language, literature, and all else that matters to man.

2. Once the divisions of knowledge been identified. Go further to list ten categories in each of the division of knowledge. For example, in ‘Biology’ division, you can list categories such as mammals, birds, reptiles, amphibians and etc.

3. Next, list the ‘bit of intelligence’ (BOI) under each category. For example, under mammal category, you can list down the bit of intelligence such as lion, tiger, cow, wolf and etc. Since knowledge is based on information which can be gained only through facts. Presenting those facts (BOI) in a properly way to a child will ensure these knowledge literally grows in the child’s brain and they will be the base of all his future knowledge.

4. The characteristic of presenting the BOI in a proper way are: BOI must be accurate, one item only (no other items in the background. You may have come across poster board with many animals, this is NOT the proper way to teach your child about ‘lion’ for example), specifically named, large, clear and new (mean something your child does not already know). Essentially, it is commonly known as flash card.

5. You can create the flash card yourself. Collect the BOI from magazine, newspaper, journal and etc. Organize them into categories of intelligence. Cut or obtain 11" x 11" white cardboard. Glue the BOI on front of the cardboard. Label the BOI on back of cardboard with black marker. A web site called ‘Flashcard Exchange’ (http://flashcardexchange.com) is a great place where you can find load of flashcards ready made and you can print out with your printer. Since it is a community supported site, you could contribute too if you have some flashcards. Another web site using software flashcards is http://www.frankchenphoto.com/powerflashcard/. Alternatively, you can purchase the flashcards from shops.

6. To teach bit of intelligence. You position yourself and your child comfortably facing each other. Show the cards about 18" away from your child. Make it like a game. Move the back BOI in the stack (get a quick look at the name you are about to say) to the front and say, 'Tiger'. One second for each card and no longer. You must present the BOI very, very quickly.

7. Begin by introducing five different categories with ten BOI in each. Make sure you teach each category three times before the day ends. As your child progress, begin adding more categories day by day until you are doing ten different categories.

8. Ten days after you have reached ten categories, begin to retire one old BOI from each category daily. Place these retired BOI in your file for new use later. Add one new BOI to each category daily to replace the one your have retired. From this time on you continue to add one new BOI per category daily or a total of ten new BOI daily. This is a minimum number; you can introduce new BOI faster if you can. Don’t worry; the capacity of the brain of a tiny child can hold them with no question.

My personal experience shows that this method works perfectly. My children began to acquire knowledge like a super dry sponge. I was amazed by their photographic memory and the speed they could absorb the knowledge. My only regret was that I didn’t have enough time to create the BOI fast and sufficient enough. Therefore, I adopted another method to help my children to acquire encyclopedic knowledge through our daily life. I taught my kids on the make of cars when we walked in the car park, name of the petrol stations when we were driving around town. They can even practice the BOI that they have learned about vegetables or fruits when we were at the supermarket. The salient point is you can teach your child encyclopedic knowledge anytime, anywhere!

While I encourage you to teach your child encyclopedic knowledge, one should beware that the focus of education should not be mainly on the mastery of encyclopedia knowledge alone. For information is expanding geometrically, it is just impossible for you to teach your child to master all of it. Therefore, you need to nurture your child to develop a desire for continuous learning and the skills to master new information. You should also understand the important of teaching not just facts (BOI), but higher-order thinking skills as well such as creativity, problem-solving and analytical skills.

PLEASE READ: Amber Alert Issued for 4 Year Old Illinois Boy

2005-11-20T10:59:00.000-05:00

The Bradley Illinois Police Department and the state of Illinois issued the Amber Alert after the child was abducted on November 19, from a McDonalds.

Paul A. Mounce Jr., a 4 year old white male. He weighs 42 pounds, is 44 inches tall, and has brown hair and blue eyes. He is wearing a long sleeved blue shirt with yellow stripes, and blue jeans. His front teeth are decayed.

There are two suspects. The first suspect is Paul Mounce Sr, a white male, 28 years old, 6 feet tall, 155 pounds, brown hair in braids, and brown eyes. He is wearing a gold necklace, gold rings, a black t-shirt with white letters and black jeans. Paul Mounce may be physically abusive and under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol.

The second suspect is Donald Rhodes, a white male, 29, 5 feet 5 inches tall, 135 pounds, brown hair and blue eyes. He is wearing a blue Nike baseball cap, a gray and white checked hooded sweatshirt, black t-shirt, blue jeans and red and gray Nike tennis shoes.

They left the McDonald's in a dark blue 1994 Chevrolet Corsica, Ohio license plate EJ55VG. They are possibly enroute to 35 Manchester, Youngstown, Ohio.

Anyone with information is asked to call the Bradley, Il Police Department at 815-933-3315 or dial 911.

New Mom...New Baby...New Debt?

2005-11-20T10:56:00.000-05:00

Ah, there is nothing like being an expectant mom. Along with your expanding waistline comes the ever growing list of products for you and your new bundle of joy. Preparing for a new baby can be a costly experience, especially in the areas of clothing and nursery furniture. The good news is that it does not have to be!

Let’s talk about buying baby clothes...think RESALE! Every new mom gushes over the adorable clothing available for babies, but they often come with a not so adorable price. Resale clothing costs a fraction of the retail price. Buying resale clothing does not equal buying trash! Moms sell their baby’s clothing to resale stores for a variety of reasons. Babies outgrow clothes so quickly (normally before they show any wear) they simply cannot use them anymore. Many precious newborns receive more clothes than they can wear in a season (everyone loves to buy baby clothes for shower gifts–they are just too cute!) that cannot be returned and they end up in resale stores with the tags still on! If you have the time and know what you are looking for, you can find plenty of designer and brand name clothing for a steal!

Buy now...save later! There is more beauty to the changing of the seasons than just the landscape! As the temperatures change, so do the prices of baby clothing! Most stores slash the price of their clothing up to 75% by the end of the season to make room for new clothes. Take advantage of this by buying a size or two larger than your baby’s current size for him/her to wear the next year. The savings are amazing!

Another large expense when you are preparing for a new baby is furniture for the nursery. A good place to start when considering which pieces to buy is determining how much room you have to work with? Do you have a large room or do you need multipurpose furniture? A crib is a necessity and a given; however, you can pick and choose other nursery pieces. Combination pieces such as dresser/changing table combos are available at some stores and can save you from buying two pieces. Cribs with attached drawer space that convert to toddler beds are also available and will save you a lot of space. Thinking ahead when buying nursery furniture will save you both time and money in the future. By buying a combination piece of furniture for your nursery, you eliminate having to sell furniture you no longer need, as well as spending time looking for and more money on new “big kid” furniture.

Now that you have decided what to buy, it is time to shop! Once again, think resale! There are many children’s resale stores that carry pre-owned nursery furniture for 50% or more off retail. They usually have several styles to choose from in different price ranges. If you find something you like, they will usually hold it for you (if you were not really prepared to take it home) and some stores may even have lay away plans.

Another great place to buy pre-owned furniture is the classified ads in your local newspaper. Seller’s usually place ads on Thursday or Friday so they can catch the weekend readers. If you find something you are interested in, call quickly! Good furniture does not last long! Make sure you ask the seller plenty of questions. It is important to know before heading out to look at furniture things like the manufacture name, the age, if they have pets (if you are buying cushioned items and allergies are an issue for your family) and the exact color (if it is not adequately described in the ad). Asking these questions may be uncomfortable, but they can save you a lot of time and gasoline looking at something you know you will not be interested in. When you do look at pre-owned furniture from the newspaper, take someone with you and know what you are looking at. Are the style and the manufacturer of the furniture worth what the seller is asking for it? Is the furniture reasonably priced for it’s age and condition? With a little knowledge, buying pre-owned nursery furniture can save you BIG money!

Awaiting the arrival of your new baby is an exhilarating time! Add to the excitement by saving money on quality gently worn (and sometimes new) clothing and pre-owned nursery furniture!

Susan Koiner is a SAHM, and former teacher, of three great kids ages seven, four and three. Her family, like many others, struggles with the challenges of "one income" and from this comes her passion for finding creative ways to save money. Susan is also the owner and creator of the online shopping directory www.momsmegamall.com.

Hints on how to encourage children to read

2005-11-20T10:54:00.000-05:00

• Keep a small basket filled with joke books, magazines, short stories, books of questions and answers, and books like Ripley’s Believe It or Not in each bathroom of your house.

• Put a map of the solar system, a map of the world, or a map of your local community on the wall. Refer to them often whenever possible, and create map quizzes or games to play with your kids.

• Take your children to the bookstores regularly. Make visiting bookstores your family recreation and eventually part of your “family culture”. Get books on many subjects and make them accessible for your children at all times.

• Secondhand bookstores, Salvation Army stores, Value Villages, yard sales and Book Events are the best places to fine inexpensive books.

• When it comes to teaching some “boring stuff”, like Math, Phonics and Grammar, a car is often the best place. Kids in car seats have nothing better to do than to pay attention and work out abstract lessons.

• Play with words and letters to explore word formation in the English language. Ask children to identify compound words like “playground”, “bathtub”. Or add “dis-” before some words, and “-less” after others to show the function of prefixes and suffixes.

• Always ask questions on a given subject to raise your child’s interest or inspire their curiosity before teaching something new.

• If your child declares that he or she does not want to learn, you can “play” instead. Incorporate your teaching into your play activities or game rules, and let your child win. This will increase their confidence.

Learning involves exploring and risk-taking; it is therefore exciting to a child if presented in the right way. With a good teacher, all children can learn to achieve.

Academic Achievers was founded by Ms. Ruowen Wang, a high school teacher and an English as a Second Language specialist. Ms. Wang taught for both Toronto Board of Education and North York Board of Education from 1988 to 1998, when she switched to a career into business administrations.

In 2001, Ms. Wang decided to become a full-time mother and started part-time home schooling her two young children, Kevin and Robin. Under Ms. Wang’s coaching Kevin’s book reports have earned him a great deal of respect from his English teacher. Robin started reading chapter books independently in Senior Kindergarten. (To read about Kevin and Robin’s academic achievements, please see Kid’s Press and Our Family Story on our web.)

Ms. Wang’s interest in home schooling fueled her plans to open a quality learning center for kids of all ages. Ms. Wang believes strongly in the concept of education as a lifetime investment. Early childhood education sets the stage for life.

Since there is no one-size-fits-all in teaching and learning, each child needs to be assessed as a unique individual. To discover, respect and follow a child’s own interest and learning style makes teaching and learning ten times more effective.

Top 20+ Reasons to Pay your Kid an Allowance

2005-11-20T10:52:00.000-05:00

1. They can make mistakes under your guidance

2. They will learn how to save for the future

3. They will learn that money doesn’t “grow on trees”

4. They will appreciate what they have

5. They will learn to make choices and set priorities

6. They may stop nagging you for money

7. There will be less friction in your household

8. They will learn healthy financial behaviors

9. They will learn your values

10. You can teach them that it isn’t all “about the money”

11. They will learn how to spend wisely

12. They will be prepared to enter the grown-up world.

13. Allowances will teach your children to be resourceful, independent and unique.

14. An allowance is a “tool to empower your children to avoid commercialism’s clutches.”

15. You can teach them to avoid the pitfalls of debt

16. You can help them improve their communication skills around money.

17. An allowance now could help them avoid future “marital money chaos”

18. They’ll learn the difference between quantity and quality.

19. They’ll learn how it feels to make a poor choice and have to live with it.

20. They’ll learn how to resist impulses (sometimes, maybe!)

21. They’ll learn to appreciate and take care of their things.

For help in designing an Allowance system that works for your family, please contact Cindy at 541-387-2995 or by e-mail.

(c) Phelps Creek Financial Coaching - All Rights Reserved

Cindy S. Morus (www.phelps-creek.com) is a Certified Financial Recovery Counselor specializing in showing women and their families how to achieve financial well-being and peace of mind. She is also a Certified Credit Report Reviewer and Get Clients NOW!™ licensee. Contact her at 541-387-2995 or cmorus@phelps-creek.com She is also the publisher and editor of "Financial Fitness", an internet gazette dedicated to helping people improve their financial fitness no matter what decisions were made in the past.

Surviving As A Single Parent: Seven Simple Suggestions To Make Your Life Easier

2005-11-20T10:50:00.000-05:00

1 - Forgive even if you will never be able to Forget -

Let go of grudges you may hold against your child’s other parent, who is absent from BOTH of your lives. Holding onto feelings of anger will not change your situation and will probably consume a great deal of your energy - energy you need to devote to creating a positive environment for your child. If you dwell on your disappointment with and/or dislike of the father or mother of your child - chances are your child will sense your feelings and suffer in some way from your negative attitude.

2 - Make the most of everything you have -

Even if you do not have a lot of money, you do have your child and your love and your time to give to him or her. Try to remember that monetary wealth and material possessions are not the most important items in your child’s life. Your love, support and time together mean much more to them. You can have fun for free. Activities like - going for a walk or a bike ride, playing at the park, coloring, painting, singing, or dancing - will thrill your child just as much as spending money to go to an amusement park, an arcade or a toy store.

3 - Be the best parent you can possibly be -

Give as much as you can without setting goals that are unrealistic for one parent to achieve. Don’t beat yourself up for what cannot be. Do recognize what you can do to create a good life for your child to the best of your abilities.

4 - Develop a network of reliable resources - Families are not biological.

Surround yourself and your child with friends you know and trust - people who care about both of you. “Aunts” and “Uncles” and even “Grandparents,” who are not blood-related can be just as beneficial to your child as actual biological family members. The “family” you create for your child can provide him or her with the same kind of love and support as a traditional family. They can also help you with your responsibilities as a single parent. Let them play an active role in your child’s life. Learn to turn to your “family” when you need a break. Nobody should have to go it alone and you will probably be able to be a better parent by relying on your “family” of close friends to support you and your child.

5 - Take responsibility for your life today -

Remember whatever lead you to where you are today, you are responsible for another life - the innocent life of a child, who didn’t ask to be born. Your child is not responsible for the experiences or events that made you become a single parent. Your child is completely dependent upon you through no choice of their own. Don’t let them down or hold them accountable for your actions (or the actions of their absent parent). They are powerless and vulnerable to the possibly less-than-ideal consequences they face as the child of a single parent. Your role and influence in their life is paramount to their chances of becoming a happy, productive, successful adult. They need you more than their words will ever tell.

6 - Set up daily rituals and regular routines -

Your child needs stability and security. One way to provide this is by developing a daily routine. Simple things like - going to the park every Sunday afternoon, eating dinner together each night, sharing a treat before nap time or reading a book together before bed every night, will become activities that your child looks forward to and can count on to occur with regularity.

7 - Be consistent and dependable -

Create realistic rules and a standard of discipline that you stick to all the time. If you’re consistent with your child, he or she will learn what is acceptable behavior and what is not. They will also learn what you expect from them and what they can expect from you. If you’re dependable, they will know that they can always count on you to help them with their homework, be there for dinner or tuck them in bed at night. They have to be able to depend on you. You’re the most important person in their life. Try to remember that no matter how tired you are at the end of the day or how frustrated you may become when they’re fussy - They need you to be there for them. You should cherish every moment with your child - they are the best blessings on earth.

Resource Box - © Danielle Hollister (2004) Danielle Hollister is the Quotations Editor at BellaOnline and Publisher of BellaOnline Quotations Zine http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art8364.asp

How To Succeed As A Stay-At-Home Mom

2005-11-19T08:33:00.000-05:00

Stay-at-home moms are no longer just the co-stars from Leave It To Beaver, the Brady Bunch, and other television shows from a bygone era. Taking care of the kids has become the cool thing to do again for women in their 20s and 30s. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, there are at least 5.4 million stay-at-home parents in the United States alone. These are a dynamic bunch of women, and men, who see opportunities in their domestic role, especially the opportunities presented by the Internet.

Sure, many of these parents gave up exciting careers and important roles in their community to take up the time-honored tradition of rearing their children. You yourself may have put goals and dreams on the back burner when you accepted the commitment and responsibility of raising your little ones. You understand the importance of a parent being there for those firsts: the first crawl, the first step, the first "momma" and "dadda."

At the same time, though, you may feel like you have taken on too much. Not only do you have the pressures of bringing up a smart, well-behaved child. You worry about being able to make ends meet to provide everything your child needs.

If this sounds all too familiar, take a deep breath, turn off the television, and log online. No, don't think you're going to surf the Web to just pass the time. The Internet is your portal to transforming your stay-at-home life. In between the diaper changes and feedings, bedtimes and burpings, you can reach beyond the walls of your home and access the outside world as never before. The benefits are as close to limitless as the millions of sites on the Web, including:

• E-support system. Whether you're searching for other stay-at-home moms to lean on, folks with the same health ailment as yourself, or even just other Oprah fanatics, the Internet is like one big community center where you can find them.

• Friends and fun. Through e-mail, chat rooms, and instant messaging, the Internet is one of the easiest ways to keep in touch with old friends and family members, as well as to meet new acquaintances.

• Cyber community. Look for your neighborhood's Web site for information on shopping, festivals, town hall meetings, and other local interests. If you can't find your town's home on the Internet, take a leadership role in creating it with the help of your neighbors.

• Cap and gown. Many community colleges and universities offer e-courses. You never need to step foot on the campus to earn degrees in finance, English, accounting, or whatever else suit your fancy.

• Steals and deals. If you're looking for some of the biggest discounts and best selection for anything from electronics to groceries, books to automobiles, the Web is your marketplace.

• Cash flow. The Internet can work for you, as well, if you are on the other end of the cash register. The Web provides an unparalleled avenue to sell goods. It can link you to interested buyers if you're only looking to unload a few knickknacks to unclutter your home. If you have enough stuff to open a garage sale, you can do that, too, without time or space constraints. Or try your hand at a full-time online business if you get bit by the entrepreneurial bug.

The Internet can open up the outside world to you for all of these benefits, but you need the right set of keys to open the door. Your first "key" is the type of Internet access you use. You'll need to weigh your budget versus how fast you want to navigate on the Web. Cable and DSL hook ups provide zippy access but can cut into your profit margins. Dial up, on the other, can be cheap or even free, but can slow down your productivity.

Once you have your hook up established, you'll need to get your feet wet before you do heavy surfing. Find trusted sites for your activities. Look for certified schools to take courses at and secure shopping zones to purchase at. When selling or starting your own business, do your research to find the most trusted and thrifty auction and classified sites. The right classified sites can be like your neighborhood paper, except they reach millions of people around the globe. In many cases, the best classified sites will also charge no start up or transaction fees and offer safe ways to communicate and do business with clients.

Settle these basics, and you can be virtually ensured to become a true M.O.M, a master of multitasking. In the time it takes your child to take a nap or watch an episode of Blues Clues, you will be able to earn 4 more credits to your finance degree, buy a new mp3 player, and sell a closet's worth of stuff.

Donald Lee is the public relationship manager for Buysellcommunity.com.Buysellcommunity provides free classified listing services for individuals and businesses to market their products and services online. For global and localized classifieds, visit http://www.buysellcommunity.com

Cleaning Your Kids Bedding

2005-11-19T08:32:00.000-05:00

For most cotton blankets, you can just throw them in the washing machine and all will be fine, but for some, this may not be the case. Some may be too large for a washing machine, and would be better off at the dry cleaners. Each piece of kids bedding will say on its tag exactly what the proper cleaning method for each individual item is. It is very important to follow the instructions on the tag for that item, because washing them incorrectly could result in damaging them, or possibly causing earlier and harsher wear and tear than would normally be there.

Different items may be washed at home in a machine, but may require certain temperatures during washing and drying. It is just as important to pay attention to, and follow, the requirements for temperatures and cycles, as it is to pay attention to whether or not it needs to be dry-cleaned.

Silk, and other types of materials, usually require dry cleaning in order to keep them in good condition. Many times, these types of materials will need to be hand washed.

Cotton is, for the most part, a very versatile material, that can be washed in a machine.

If the tag comes off of a kids bedding item that you need to wash, it is best to follow the guidelines set on the machine that say for a certain material, they should be washed on a certain cycle with a certain temperature of water.

These are in place for a reason, and should definitely be followed.

It is also important to pay attention to what types of detergent it uses. If the item says “do not use bleach,” you will never ever want to use it. There are two reasons for this. One, it could damage the color of the item, which can be overcome by using non-chlorine bleach, or what some brands call color-safe bleach.

But the second reason is the same with this type of bleach as it is with chlorine bleach: bleach is a very harsh chemical that can harm the fabric and cause a much faster wear and tear on the item, leading to having to repair or throw it away before necessary.

Any type of kids bedding that is made of silk or nylon, which is unlikely in the case of bedding for children, should not be exposed to very much sunlight.

Anything with acetate should never be dried in the dryer or line-dried because heat is the enemy of acetate. Acetate should also be dry-cleaned, but if you don?t want to do this, they can be hand-washed or washed in a machine on gentle cycle using an appropriate detergent intended for materials such as these. Polyester is very similar, but slightly more durable, so while it is best to hand-washed, it can be safely machine-washed, and it is safe to line dry.

Nylon is very durable, and is basically machine washable, even on a regular cycle. Over time, though, washing nylon in a washer can lead to pilling, so you may want to hand wash them in the bathtub to avoid this. Nylon can not be line- dried because of the sun, but it can be dried in the dryer on a low setting. It is also never a good idea to use bleach on nylon. Silk should be treated like acetate. Be careful, too, of wringing after washing, because silk is very thin and can be easily damaged. Also, this only applies for silk sheets and pillow cases. If it is a silk comforter, you should have it dry cleaned only, as it is practically impossible to hand wash them. Sateen, which is 100 percent cotton, on the other hand, can be washed and dried in a machine with no problems.

As for down pillows and comforters, you must take them to a dry cleaner who is experienced in cleaning down filled items. In order to prevent it from having to be cleaned very often, you can cover it with a duvet cover. This will also help it stay in good condition for longer.

As you can see, there are many different rules for cleaning different types of sheets and blankets, whether it is kids bedding, or an adults. The best rule of thumb, as mentioned earlier, is to strictly adhere to the directions on the tag, and you shouldn't have any problems.

Article by Avid Amiri - President of The Kids Bedding Company. Please visit Kids First to learn more about kids bedding and find the best styles and prices on the latest kids bedding designs.

Seven Simple Tips About Child Custody Issues

2005-11-19T08:29:00.000-05:00

The following advice comes from my heart and my personal experience. I am not a lawyer. I did graduate from college with a degree in Communications, however, that does not qualify me to offer professional legal advice. If you read this article, remember you must consult an attorney to get help for your specific situation.

There are numerous, diverse issues surrounding legal custody of your children. Laws vary from state to state. Each individual situation is different depending on your personal circumstances, such as: marital status; employment; income; other financial resources; family support; relationship with other parent; past history of abuse or domestic violence; arrest record; and past role in children's life.

The following ideas are only some suggestions to consider if you are fighting for custody of your children or if you fear that you may have to battle the father/mother of your children for custody.

My first suggestion comes from my own terrifying experience.

1 - Don't think you will never have to fight for custody of your children.

Don't assume you know the father/mother of your children so well, that you have no fear of being forced to fight this man or woman to retain your parental rights. Don't foolishly trust everything the father/mother of your children tells you.

If they were planning to file for custody of your children, do you really think they'd let you know in advance? Obviously if they gave you with any type of a warning, you would have time to obtain your own lawyer and try to beat them at their own game. So of course, they're going to lie about their intentions if they're planning to seek custody of your children.

And they're going to try to make their lies sound so sincere, so convincing and so honest that you could easily be deceived. The only advice I have about how to tell the difference between a lie and the truth is - go with your gut instinct. If you have any reason to believe they may be thinking of filing for custody of your children, follow your heart. If you have any doubt about how honest they're being with you, don't wait around to see what happens next. Time is critical, so don't delay taking action to protect yourself if you feel threatened or mislead in any way.

2 - Be very careful about who you trust with important information.

You may be shocked to find out how quickly word travels from what you tell your friends or some of your family members to the other parent's friends or family members. People love to gossip. Rumors spread like wildfire with little regard for you or your children.

The only way to extinguish flaming tales of your tragic situation is to keep your mouth shut. Don't share your side of the story with anyone unless you are willing to bet your life and your future with your children on their loyalty to you.

When you're hurt by the actions of the father/mother of your children, it can be very difficult to not talk about your feelings of disbelief, anger, anxiety and devastation, but it can hurt you more in the long run to share your emotions with even your closest friends and family. You never know who will repeat what you say to whom and there's nothing worse than being stabbed in the back by someone you thought you could trust.

This may be the most expensive, bitter battle of your life. Don't risk the outcome by revealing significant factors of your defense to more than a few of your closest friends or family members, who you trust with all your heart. The stakes are high in any custody case. Gambling in this situation can reduce your credibility, destroy your reputation, ruin your defense strategy and significantly decrease your chances of winning in court.

3 - Hire a lawyer. You do need one.

You're selling yourself short if you don't seek legal advice. Unless you have incredible knowledge of the child custody laws in your state, if you are not represented by an attorney, you will probably be manipulated, intimidated and mislead by the attorney hired by the father/mother of your children.

Lawyers are not cheap. Hourly rates vary from $100 to $300 an hour. Be prepared to pay anywhere from $200 to $500 just for an initial consultation, which is the first step in finding a lawyer to represent you. Once you share your side of the story with an attorney, they should tell you what they believe the chances are for you to prevail, what their strategy would be to defend you, and how much they will require as a “retainer fee.”

Retainer fees can range from $500 to $5,000 for a really good lawyer. You must pay this money up front before they will take actions to represent you. This fee is usually put into an account that your attorney uses to fund your defense. Each phone call, office visit, fax correspondence, conference call with other attorney, review of your message on voice mail, etc. costs you money. The attorney deducts these costs from the retainer fee.

4 - Seek free legal advice if you cannot afford to pay for an attorney.

If you cannot afford a lawyer, most states have free legal services available for people, who qualify for this type of assistance based on their income.

If you have time to look for a lawyer, one of the best ways to find a good attorney, is by asking friends, family, business associates - people with knowledge in this field - people you respect and trust. What you hear by word of mouth will probably give you more honest insight into a lawyer's ability than any advertisement claiming to offer the best attorneys for your case.

If you think you can't afford to hire an attorney, consider whether you can afford to lose custody of your children. The choice is yours. Where there's a will, there's usually a way. You may have to take a bank loan, remortage your house, borrow from friends or family members, sell your favorite toys, cash in savings bonds, withdraw from your retirement account, pawn your diamond ring, or cancel your cable television, cellular phone service, or other little luxuries, but aren't your children worth making any sacrifice to ensure your future together?

5 - Watch your back.

Consider every move you make with extreme caution. You would be surprised how stupid little actions you take can be twisted to appear negative or illegal. Don't do anything remotely illegal, like: lying on your tax return; taking a job that pays “under the table;” drinking and driving; associating with people who may be linked to potentially illegal activities or visiting establishments with questionable reputations.

Make an extra effort to keep your house clean, free of products containing alcohol, and full of items essential for proper feeding, bathing, teaching, and caring for your children. You never know who is watching you or when you may get a knock at the door from the local Child Welfare authorities, who received an anonymous report that you're an unfit parent.

If you believe in the "always innocent until proven guilty" concept, you may be disappointed. Better safe than sorry when it's your children, your reputation, your parenting skills, your mental stability and your life that's on trial.

6 - Never ever sign anything that your attorney hasn't read.

Better yet only sign documents related to your child custody case in the presence of your attorney.

Even though it takes less than a minute to apply your signature to a piece of paper, it can take months to reverse the terms you agreed to be signing a legal document.

7 - Remember no matter how much you're hurting and regardless of how much you loathe the father/mother of your children, a child custody case is not about you.

It's about your children. It's about what's best for them. The court battle and the consequences of the outcome have the potential to hurt your kids more than anyone.

Resource Box - © Danielle Hollister (2004) is the Publisher of BellaOnline Quotations Zine - A free newsletter for quote lovers featuring more than 10,000 quotations in dozens of categories like - love, friendship, children, inspiration, success, wisdom, family, life, and many more. Read it online at - http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art8364.asp

The 5 Myths Of Saving Money On Food

2005-11-19T08:28:00.000-05:00

Almost everyone needs or wants to save money for time to time. Some expenditures can not be changed easily; like rent, car payments, insurance. Saving on food is a goal many try to accomplish. Some don't succeed at it as well as they can or quit after awhile like a smoker trying to quit. One of the budget items people can adjust is money spent on food and dining. It is not as hard as believed if approached with forethought and learning what works for others.

The average American family today dines out and uses convenience foods far more often than families did 25 years ago. This budget area offers an excellent way to spend less while still eating well. To save the most know certain shopping truths. To know how something works, you sometimes need to know what doesn't work.

5 myths of saving money on food

1. To save money you have to use coupons. False. You can save money on food without using coupons, but it takes a little more planning. Two for one item sales and special holiday sales can help particularly.

2. Wholesale stores are always better to shop at. False. While certain items bought in quantity offer significant savings, the choice of what you need or want may not be there. Check the price to be sure it is a better price!

3. Store brands are always the cheapest buy. False. Sales frequently bring brand names close to store brands. Add a coupon or buy at a 2 for 1 sales price, brand names are less.

4. You save more money by shopping several stores. False. How much is your time worth? How much more will you spend on gas? Would you be able to stick to a set list when you shop more than one store? On a weekly basis, our finding is one particular store will usually be your best buying location.

5. Buying the largest package sizes save more. False. The larger volume package does not always save money. Plus, is there any waste? Can you use it all?

6. It takes a long time to prepare to save money. False. Our weekly grocery trip is planned in less than one hour, rarely longer except for big events. Most of it I do sitting in front of my favorite TV show.

Each of the above six myths are incorrect. Want to save money? Take a look at how you are shopping and what assumptions you are making. Taking time to check out those assumptions may save you from making some costly mistakes.

L. C. Peterson is a freelance writer and web marketing consultant. Find out more money saving tips at http://www.grocerystoresavings.com.

If Ever a Man So Great Walked it Would Be Him.... Dad

2005-11-19T08:26:00.000-05:00

By Bitu Thomas

My dad passed away this January. It happened so suddenly that I couldn't see him on his death bed. He was given the best medical treatment, money could buy, yet God wanted him at His side and therefore 2 heart attacks on the same day took him away from us.

My dad was a Secretary.He had started out as a stenographer when he was 17 years old. Though very smart, he did not have enough cash to get through college and therefore always instilled in us that Education was a weapon.

He was always someone who surprised me with his ever increasing vocabulary in English. Just when I thought that I had learned it all and that I was one of the biggest scrabble gurus born, he would humble me by using a new word which I had never even heard of.

I would even go so far as to argue with him that such a word didn't exist until I would make myself check with the Oxford or Cambridge and find that it did exist and was there all along. I would be flabbergasted within but cool and composed outside.

As years passed, I grew to admire him and respect him so fastidiously that if there was ever anything I required that needed to be done with letters or drafts.. I felt that noone could do it better than him.

My first letter, my first Resume, my first leave letter..everything was done by him.

When he passed away I was chilled with shock. There was so much left for him to teach me, and then I heard a small voice whisper within me ...It was done ..I had learnt it all. He was within me waiting to be passed on to the next generation.

1400 Teens Die from Drug and Alcohol Partying Every Year

2005-11-18T00:40:00.000-05:00

You are a good parent and you have been very careful raising your kids. Now that they are teens you worry a little about the teen scene. You trust you kids good judgment, but often worry about some of their friends and the stories you have heard out there. You have also heard stories from your friends and at a neighborhood watch community meeting you went to a couple of years ago. You are aware of the teenagers, high-schoolers and young adults in your community and their party habits. You know of the police breaking up the parties and you also personally know who some of the troublemakers are. You are worry about the ‘crystal meth,’ which is running ramped in the area and you suspect some of your children’s friends of using these drugs on occasion. You are pretty certain that your child is smarter than that, but it bothers you at times.

Well, how certain are you that your kids will not try the drugs too? Did you know that fourteen hundred teens die from drug and alcohol partying every year? Often teens find themselves under severe peer pressure and are only interested trying out once because all their friends are or have. So often it is during these times of experimenting that these kids get themselves into trouble. They try it, then under clouded and altered judgment do not stop and end up in a terrible situation. Don’t let your teens die from drug or alcohol abuse. Think on this.

Teach Your Kids Money Management

2005-11-18T00:39:00.000-05:00

Kids are taught about sharing, safety, acceptable behavior, physical health and safety, and good study and work habits but seldom are they taught about money. These will be things that they take with them forever, after they grow up and move out on their own. Money is an important factor in life and it should be addressed in some manor so kids at least know the basics such as budgeting and saving.

Involve your children in family finances. Let them know how much you make or give them a comparison so they can better understand how much it is. Tell them how much each month money is spent on expenses, and what goes to savings, etc. If you are saving a lot your kids may try to as well, while if you are disorganized and spending without knowing how much you have available your kids may follow in that trend as well. How you spend your money will show your kids how much you have or don’t have to spend.

If you use credit cards, as soon as the bill comes in, pay it off and let your children know what you are doing. This way they will understand the use of credit but see that it gets paid off as soon as possible to prevent any financial problems in the future. Teach them the difference between debit and credit cards. Show them your online account with your bank or your bank repository booklet where you keep track of all incoming and outgoing money.

Then let your children manage their own funds. If you give them an allowance, let them do what they want with it. If they come to you asking for more money or something in particular they want, tell them to save their allowance so they can buy it. This will teach them to save and not be expected to get everything in life for free. If they have a part time job, it may be practical to set up a bank account with a savings so they can put this money there and earn interest. Teach them about comparison-shopping. What they may find in one store may be less expensive in another. If they get into a financial dilemma and they need your help, make sure you make them pay you back or else they may take advantage of the situation again.

If your children know the basics of financial management they will have a better grasp on life once they enter the real world on their own. For more information on financial matters please visit http://www.marriedfinances.com/.

Kelly Kennedy is the Communications Specialist for MindComet Corporation, a full service marketing agency for Fortune 500 companies and international conglomerates. Kelly specializes in public relations strategies focused on personal finance. Kelly has been author to hundreds of articles focusing on finance. She also acts as a contributing author for a wide variety of websites and newsletters. Kelly holds a Bachelors degree in Marketing from the University of Central Florida.

Creative Ways to Keep Children Entertained Over Christmas Break

2005-11-18T00:37:00.000-05:00

For most children, the holiday-break starts somewhere during that last busy week of holiday preparations. With excitement at an all-time high, you will need to plan activities for their excess energy in advance. Try these ideas to keep kids entertained as you finish your own to-do list.

You’ve got mail: Let children send electronic Christmas cards. Print out e-mail addresses for family and friend and log-on to www.uptoten.com. This site has many amusing cards (including dressing a reindeer) that will please children and recipients alike.

Reward program: Consult your Holiday Notebook for tasks left undone which children could conquer. Create a “point” system and let children earn points for chipping in to help. Use a formula like 100 points = $1.00 and take the children shopping to “redeem” their points when the post-holiday sales begin.

Guessing games: A creative centerpiece idea is to have children wrap miscellaneous items from their room or extra items in the house (a CD, a Lego®, a pencil) in holiday paper. These can be arranged as a festive centerpiece. Children at your get-together can then try to guess what each item is while adults enjoy a cup of coffee after dinner.

Assigned Seating: Let children create place cards by folding cardstock or cardboard in half. Bring out the markers, glitter, sequins, magazines, and anything else you have handy. Let their imagination run wild. If your family has a good sense of humor, let young kids draw pictures of each guest. Guests can try and identify their “assigned seat.”

The Square Boat Which Wouldn't Float

2005-11-18T00:36:00.000-05:00

It seems that the kids in our neighborhood were always building something. If it wasn’t stilts, it was rubber guns (probably a lost art). If it wasn’t airplanes, it was scooters. If it wasn’t go-carts, it was pigeon coops. It never ended.

A supply of suitable materials was the main problem faced by us early builders. Junk is what things were built from. That often showed in the final product. But we always looked on our great creation with pride until a disaster destroyed our masterpiece.

In pioneer days, the Jordan River that runs through the Salt Lake Valley was a clear stream full of trout. We had never seen it that way. It was totally polluted in our day. We were told it was a clean, clear fishing stream by Mr. Foster (who grew truck crops on a two or three acre plot to feed his family). He had caught many trout from the river when he was a boy.

We sometimes caught trout from the river too, but we had to fish where fresh water streams entered the filthy waters of the river. Sometimes the state dumped trout into the river at the fairgrounds after their exhibition at the State Fair, but that was rare, and the trout were either quickly fished out or died in the muck.

Still, the river was our playground. We were told never to get into the water or we would die of the bubonic plague or be drowned in a whirlpool. None of us died of the plague but some of us did drown. One of my friends tried to rescue his brother while by grandfather played his accordion in the park only a few hundred yards away. Both boys were lost while we enjoyed the music, not knowing what was going on.

Things were tough on kids in those days. Two of our friends were killed when their bike was hit by a cement truck racing down the street to get concrete to the arms plant.

A brother and sister we knew where killed by a truck taking ammunition from the arms plant to the railroad dock. The WAC driver fell asleep.

One of our friends died when he fell from a fence while he and his siblings were stealing a few lumps of coal from the coal yard.

A baby was lost when a sibling closed the drawer where the mother kept the child.

Our widower shoemaker lost two children when a son tried to save his sister from highway traffic. (Later the shoemaker, who did not trust banks, lost his life’s savings when his last surviving son stole the money.)

There were the diseases too. Polio scared us all, but kids died of a number of other ailments because there was no penicillin or sulfa drugs to help them.

Death was all around us, but the scariest thing was when young mothers died from giving childbirth.

We needed not to think to much on these things. So maybe that is partly why we built a wide range of contraptions.

Following is a poem about a boat that was built in my backyard.

The Square Boat Which Wouldn't Float by Taylor Jones

Saturday, April 19, 1999 (Modified November 3, 2005)

Aaron had the idea:
A boat on the Jordan to float.
So Dick and Aaron and all the big guys
Built a boat before our eyes.

It was shaped appropriately
Like a coffin.
It had square sides
And a flat bottom.

They nailed and tarred;
It weighed a ton.
It took forever to get it to the river
Where we could have some fun.

Well, every kid in town
Watched the show.
We pushed the boat in the water
To see if it would go.

Aaron was in the middle
And Dick was in the stern.
Would the thing float or not?
That we would soon learn.

They paddled it out into the middle
Of that muddy Jordan River.
At first things looked pretty good.
It was quite a clipper.

Then slowly, slowly, did we see,
Right before our eyes,
That Aaron and the boys would be swimming;
It was the boat's demise.

Yes, it sank like that concrete ship
That lay's on Cape May's shore.
That bungling concrete vessel
Made just for the war.

And just before “Abandon Ship!”
There was our little war
Because there was a good supply of mud
On good Old Jordan's shore.

So began the mud fight
Until the ship did sink.
They were covered with mud from head to foot
Until they gulped the drink

So all the work on that great boat
Was lost in just a wink.
It sank so fast from bow to mast,
I could hardly blink.

I miss those days of carefree youth,
Of boats, and planes, and cars.
But then the boys all left home
To fight in a real war.

Orville and Virgil never came home.
They were not alone.
But the boat builders survived,
Thank God they did come home.

Copyright©John T. Jones, Ph.D.1999-2005

Teenage Dating vs. Courtship

2005-11-18T00:34:00.000-05:00

Do not let the culture hoodwink you into believing that you should participate in sexual relations before marriage. The whole idea of dating and everything that goes with it is so much of a heavy-laden burden, and as a young girl, you should not have to endure this crazy emotional roller coaster ride.

Do not let your social group fool you into believing the only way to be popular in school is to have sex with the boys. What a tale of deceit we web.

FACT:

Dating will NOT prepare you for marriage. In fact, it will damage your heart, mind and soul, and you will treat your husband according to how you were treated from boys in school.

If you have had several sexual relationships that ended in heartbreak as a teenager, when you get married you will be on guard with your husband. You will not be able to share with him all of your self, afraid that he, too, might hurt you.

You will not understand the beauty and enjoyment of the sexual union that a husband and wife share together because of what you experienced with some strange boy in school. Unpleasant dating games lead to negative feelings about sex later on down the road.

FACT:

The best thing you can do to avoid all this turmoil later in life is to remain sexually abstinent until you are married. Sound difficult? Well it’s not! Read on.

As a young girl or woman, you have choices. You only have to experience the pressures of dating and the rituals that go along with it, if you allow your self to fall into its trap. If you do fall into the teenage dating traps it will most likely obscure your whole way of thinking.

This certainly will NOT prepare you for marriage but will take away from the honor and commitment that is so vital for marriage.

FACT:

If a young girl has only one breakup in school from participating in the new cultural rituals of dating and having sex, she is more likely to get a divorce later on in her marriage. Most young girls have three or more heartaches during their teenage years. This is totally unnecessary.

Going through a breakup and then finding a new boy to have a relationship with will prepare a girl to do the same for her marriage. For instance, now that she is married, she begins having marital troubles and in her mind she remembers what happened in school, and she knows that she can just dump her husband, and remarry, right?

Wrong! Where is the commitment?

Unfortunately for many, the “dating and dump” syndrome is carried forward into marriage. Another reason there is so much divorce today. Couples are using the same culturally immoral foundations they grew up with in school for their marriage later in life.

FACT:

God wants all young women to stay pure before marriage. Trust me on this one. Let’s be all that we can be as young ladies. Nothing is more important to God than your happiness. God wants you to someday find love, get married and be all that you can be. Why rush into all this dating stuff, especially when you are not ready for it?

“It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is honorable and holy, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God, and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. …For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man, but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit.” 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8

Now lets take a look at some of the myths.

MYTH:

If I don’t have sex, the boys will not like me

Bonk! This is so untrue! He might act like he doesn’t like you but in his heart he will RESPECT you for loving your self. The truth is, you can be best friends with this boy and not have sex with him and your relationship will be even better. He will treat you better and tell you things he normally wouldn’t if you were having sex with him. If he is a big jerk and does treat you bad, so what, let him be. It is more “spiritual power” to you for detaching from his immature antics.

MYTH:

If I don’t have sex, I won’t be popular or liked by my friends.

If your friends are having sex with boys, then I don’t think you want to be hanging out with that crowd in the first place. The boys that your friends are having sex with are talking about your friends behind their back. Their good reputation has been busted! You do not want to be associated with that kind of behavior, do you?

Even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right. Proverbs 20:11

Find some new friends that know and love God and who like them selves. Friends who wouldn’t like you because you won’t have sex are only jealous because you are in control of your body. Do not let those girls who do not know God and who are not in control of their bodies trespass against your beautiful spiritual self and tell you things that will lead you into sin.

Teen Relationships

2005-11-18T00:32:00.000-05:00

Before I start to talk about teen relationships I feel I have to make a clarification. Many people when they think of the word relationship, automatically equate it to love or sexual relationship. According to the general definition of relationship this is any connection between two or more elements and these elements can be anything from chemical substances to human beings. So from this definition it is simple to deduct the meaning of this word applied to human beings. A teen relationship can be any kind of relationship

between teens of the same gender

between teens of the opposite gender, like boyfriend girlfriend relationships

between teens and other persons of the same or different gender and different age.

The quality of these relationships can also vary, but there are two kinds of teenager relationships I'm going to talk about here;

teen friendships and

teen love relationships

Teen Friendships

This kind of teenager relationship will fit into all three categories above. It can exist between a teenager and other persons of same or different gender and age. A good friend - no matter age or gender - is one of the best things you can have on this earth. A really good friend that is special to you and means much to you. A person that is always there for you.

Many successful love relationships has started with friendship and this is probably the reason for it's success. The better you know the other person, the better you'll go along with him or her and in a long lasting love relationship - as man and woman - your appreciation of your partner as a friend will mean much more than anything else. If we look at it from the other end, it seems much more difficult to build a friendship from a love or sexual relationship. In fact, I have not heard about it, maybe you have but the point is that a good friendship is always good to have both as a basis of a future love relationship and as a friendship by itself.

A teenage friendship can exist between anyone no matter what gender, age, race, background or whatever. A 13 year old girl and a 50 year old man can have a great and even lifelong friendship together as well as two teenagers of the same gender.

Teen love relationships

While you can talk quite frankly and straight forward in a friendship most of us are more aware of not hurting the partner in a love relationship. This can evolve to a degree of lies and even no communication at all just to protect your partner.

There are also more mutual expectations in a love relationship and more intimate emotions are involved than in a good friendship. A teen love relationship can be great and long lasting but if there is no basis of friendship in it the probability of sustaining it is significantly lower. There are some legally defined limitations with regards to who can go into a teen love or sexual relationship. It is illegal for people of 18 years and above to have a sexual relation to a minor but It is definitely not illegal to have older friends.

A good friendship is one of the best gifts God has provided our lives with and even if you marry the sweetest boy or girl in the world, neither of you will be happy if you aren't good friends.

Terje Brooks Ellingsen is a writer and internet publisher. He runs the website 1st-Self_Improvement.net Terje is a Sociologist who enjoys contributing to the personal growth and happiness of others. He tries to accomplish this by writing about self improvement issues from his own experience and knowledge. For example, providing web resources for self esteem improvement and relationship issues.

Are Chat Rooms A Menace To Your Children?

2005-11-18T00:30:00.000-05:00

My answer would be: yes, with qualifications.

I've been running chat rooms since 1998. Nothing fancy. The software was freely available. I just had to make some important modifications: adding bad word filters and automated 'kicking' (ejection from the rooms).

You think free speech is a good thing, until you read what anonymous, malevolent young men say to fifteen-year-old girls. It isn't Shakespeare, let me tell you that.

That's another key point: anonymity. A pillar of the free speech argument. Let freedom fighters and the repressed masses have their say! Except it's more likely a twenty-five-year-old sociopath pretending to be sixteen and making young girls cry with his sickening profanity.

Free from all morés, and safe from physical retribution, we see the contents of the subconscious pour forth unrestrained. And a hellish stream of psychic sewage it is.

This can be combated by bad word filters and having human moderators. The most important shield of all, I think, is education. "Don't take candy from strangers", "You don't need drugs until you're ill", and now: "Don't bandy words with trolls" (people who deliberately upset other internet users with provocative language).

Most chat rooms now have an 'ignore' function. It's a bit like the hooligan in the street: he's *looking* for a reaction; if you ignore him, it's infuriating. To him. You glide on by, figuratively speaking, while he rants on unheard.

Parents should take an interest in what their children are doing online. See if you can find out what service they've joined, and join up yourself; get a taste of it. Teenagers define themselves as adults-to-be by choosing a different path to their parents: if you are conservative, they'll try liberalism, and vice-versa. Therefore, you shouldn't try to join in with their activities as an equal; just keep informed.

They may gripe, but secretly they're glad you care. A parent who lets their child do whatever they want gives them no standard to measure themselves against.

Another problem with basic chat rooms is that you can develop an intense relationship with someone you can't see and haven't met in the flesh; there's a fantasy element. Your thoughts pour forth freely, you believe you've met a soul mate. You may even meet them, and the illusion continues ...

... until you eventually realise he or she is just a human being after all, and breaks wind like everyone else.

There is hope, however. With the advent of cheap digital video cameras, internet telephony and broadband, people will be less able to hide: "What do you mean, you're shy? You weren't shy a minute ago!". Old-fashioned, sensible prejudices will assert themselves: "Soooo, 'Zorro' from Cambridge is really fat, spotty Darren from Dartford ... next!".

T. O' Donnell http://www.ttchat.co.uk is an ecommerce consultant in London, UK. His latest project is a freeware loan calculator, available at http://www.tigertom.com/personal-loans-uk.shtml

Unique Gift Idea for Children

2005-11-18T00:27:00.000-05:00

Today, my two daughters and I went to the mall. It is one day just the three of us can spend some "girl time" shopping, looking at clothes, and have lunch. All week they've been asking to visit a new store that recently opened... "Build-a-bear". I've checked them out online and they seemed over-priced, but I went anyway.

I was impressed.

It was actually very fun.

First you pick out a Bear (or cat or dog etc). It's just an empty stuffed toy. My oldest, 12 years old, picked a soft tan teddy bear aka READ BEAR, and my youngest, 6 years old, picked a white cat, aka SASSY KITTY.

Then we waited in line with other eager children and their limp, unstuffed bears, cats and dogs. While waiting in line you can see displays of clothing, shoes, accessories, costumes and more... all for your bear.

After a 10-15 minute wait in line, we reach the "Stuffing station" - They hook your bear up to a machine and add the stuffing! The kids get to step on a foot paddle to work the machine. When stuffed, they add a little heart...but not until the kids make a wish, and add things like love, smarts etc etc to it. Then the heart is added to the insides and sewn up.

Next the best part!! Clothes shopping! My kids got one complete outfit each. But now I know what to tell friends and relatives to get them for christmas! Build-a-bear gift cards, or a new outfit are wonderful unique gift ideas for kids! Now it will be easier to shop for those kids who "have everything".

Before checking out, you visit a few more stations, naming, and dressing (we didn't dress them there, we took them home to dress-up). The kids even get a gift certificate with their bears name and birth date. At checkout the kids get an adorable little "home" or box for there new friend, shaped like a house.

You can visit the build a bear workshop webpage at http://www.buildabear.com/ to find a store near you, buy gift cards/bear bucks, or just have a look at what they have to offer.

By the way, I do not work for build-a bear, I am just a big fan of their incredible product/service and hope to share this unique gift idea!

Are you considering having children? To determine whether you are truly prepared for the experience, we suggest you take this set of simple tests...

2005-11-17T06:00:00.000-05:00

Are You Ready for Children?

MESS TEST:

Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flower bed and rub on the walls. Cover the stains with crayons. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.

TOY TEST:

Obtain a 55-gallon box of Legos. (If Legos are not available, you may substitute roofing tacks or broken bottles.) Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream (this could wake a child at night).

GROCERY STORE TEST:

Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop at the grocery store. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.

DRESSING TEST:

Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag making sure that all arms stay inside.

FEEDING TEST:

Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a stout cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal (such as Fruit Loops or Cheerios) into the mouth of the jug while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.

NIGHT TEST:

Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8 to 12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 8:00 PM begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00 PM. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00 PM. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00 AM. Set alarm for 5:00 AM. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for five years. Look cheerful.

PHYSICAL TEST (WOMEN)

Obtain a large beanbag chair and attach it to the front of your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10% of the beans.

PHYSICAL TEST (MEN):

Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.

FINAL ASSIGNMENT:

Find a couple who already have a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training, and child's table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run riot. Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the answers.

Before I was a Mom ......

2005-11-17T02:19:00.000-05:00

Before I was a Mom -

I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got into bed. I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.

I cleaned my house each day.

I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.

I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.

I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom -

I had never been puked on.

Pooped on.

Spit on.

Chewed on.

Peed on.

I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.

I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom -

I never held down a screaming child So that doctors could dotests.

Or give shots.

I never looked into teary eyes and cried.

I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.

I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom -

I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down.

I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.

I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.

I never knew that I could love someone so much.

I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom -

I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.

I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.

I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.

I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom -

I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.

I had never known the warmth, The joy, The love, The heartache, The wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.

I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.

And remember that behind every successful
mother...... is a basket of dirty laundry.

Think about this... You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.

2005-11-17T02:00:00.000-05:00

1. At least 2 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.

2. At least 15 people in this world love you in someway.

3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.

4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.

5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.

6. You mean the world to someone.

7. If not for you, someone may not be living.

8. You are special and unique.

9. Someone that you don't even know exists, loves you.

10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.

11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.

12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it.

13. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.

14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know.

15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.

Explain God: It was written by an 8-year-old named Danny

2005-11-17T00:59:00.000-05:00

THIS ONE IS FABULOUS!!! It was written by an 8-year-old named Danny
Dutton, who lives in Chula Vista, CA.

He wrote it for his third grade homework assignment, to "explain God".

I wonder if any of us could have done as well?

EXPLANATION OF GOD

"One of God's main jobs is making people. He makes them to replace the ones that die, so there will be enough people to take care of things on earth.

"He doesn't make grownups, just babies. I think because they ar smaller and easier to make. That way he doesn't have to take up his valuable time teaching them to talk and walk. He can just leave that to mothers and fathers..

"God's second most important job is listening to prayers. An awful lot of this goes on, since some people, like preachers and things, pray at times beside bedtime.

God doesn't have time to listen to the radio or TV because of this. Because he hears everything, there must be a terrible lot of noise in his ears, unless he has thought of a way to turn it off.

"God sees everything and hears everything and is everywhere which keeps Him pretty busy. So you shouldn't go wasting his time by going over your mom and dad's head asking for something they said you couldn't have.

"Atheists are people who don't believe in God. I don't think there are any in Chula Vista. At least there aren't any who come to our church.

"Jesus is God's Son. He used to do all the hard work, like walking on water and performing miracles and trying to teach the people who didn't want to learn about God. They finally got tired of him preaching to them and they crucified him. But he was good and kind, like his father, and he told his father that they didn't know what they were doing and to forgive them and God said O.K.

"His dad (God) appreciated everything that he had done and all his hard work on earth so he told him he didn't have to go out on the road anymore. He could stay in heaven. So he did. And now he helps his dad out by listening to prayers and seeing things which are important for God to take care of and which ones he can take care of himself without having to bother God. Like a secretary, only more important.

"You can pray anytime you want and they are sure to help you because they got it worked out so one of them is on duty all the time.

"You should always go to church on Sunday because it makes God happy, and if there's anybody you want to make happy, it's God! Don't skip church to do something you think will be more fun like going to the beach. This is wrong. And besides, the sun doesn't come out at the beach until noon anyway.

"If you don't believe in God, besides being an atheist, you will be very lonely, because your parents can't go everywhere with you, like to camp, but God can. It is good to know He's around you when you're scared, in the dark or when you can't swim and you get thrown into real deep water by big kids.
.
"But...you shouldn't just always think of what God can do for you. I figure God put me here and he can take me back anytime he pleases. "And...that's why I believe in God."

True Friend

2005-11-17T00:42:00.001-05:00

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said...no.

She asked him if he would want to be with her forever....
and he said no.

She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, and

once again he replied with a no.

She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming
down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said....

You're not pretty you're beautiful.
I don't want to be with you forever.
I NEED to be with you forever.
And I wouldn't cry if you walked away...I'd die...

Remember:
"A good friend will not come bail you out of jail....
But a true friend will be sitting next to you saying ...
WE screwed up!

==========
I've learned....That life is like a roll of toilet paper.
The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I've learned....That we should be glad God
doesn't give us everything we ask for.

I've learned....That money doesn't buy class.

I've learned....That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I've learned...That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I've learned....That the Lord didn't do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?

I've learned....That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I've learned....That when you plan to get even with
someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

I've learned...That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I've learned...That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

I've learned....That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I've learned....That there's nothing sweeter than sleeping with your babies and feeling their breath on your cheeks.

I've learned...That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

I've learned....That life is tough, but I'm tougher.

I've learned...That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

I've learned....That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I've learned...That I wish I could have told those I cared about that I love them one more time before they passed away.

I've learned....That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I've learned....That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I've learned....That I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.

I've learned....That when your newly born child holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.

I've learned....That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness, and growth happen while you're climbing it.

I've learned....That the less time I have to work, the more things I get done.

WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)

2005-11-17T00:15:00.000-05:00

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...here is something to make you chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort
from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"

"Don't what?" Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.

"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve.we have forbidden fruit!!!!!"

"No Way!"

"Yes way!"

"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.

"Why"

"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked! "Didn't I tell
you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you?" said the Father.

"I don't know," said Eve.

"She started it!" Adam said.

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"DID NOT!"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY! If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!

1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids.
They will choose your nursing home one day.

AND FINALLY:

IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!